A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Thursday, October 04, 2012

One Debate Down

Today, the day after the first Presidential debate, looks like a totally different day on the American political landscape. For weeks now, Republicans have been frustrated that their candidate has been dogged by gaffes and missteps. Now today, the Democrats are frustrated by Obama’s — one commentator has used the word listless — performance.

Other comments make you think that the election is all but over, and Romney will be the next president. As Oliver Hardy might have said, “Tut, tut!”

Polls and pundits are declaring Romney the winner of the first debate. Clearly he came prepared with facts and statistics (read: conservative talking points) to throw at the president, but threw little else in the way of details to the electorate. Romney was definitely more aggressive than Obama; in fact, he was more aggressive than PBS moderator Jim Lehrer. The Republican candidate all but steamrolled over Lehrer in his bid to take control of the floor.

Obama, trying his best to remain cool, looked down while Romney spoke and gave little eye contact to Romney during the rest of the evening, or so the pundits tell me. My observations are based on the few excerpts playing on the local newscasts and national shows (Morning Joe). I couldn’t stay up for the debates myself, owing to the fact that I’m part of the 53% OF AMERICANS WHO HAVE TO GET UP EARLY TO EARN A LIVING!  HELLO, WHO THE HELL SCHEDULES THESE THINGS IN THE DEAD OF THE NIGHT!

The evening started warmly with both candidates acknowledging Obama’s 20th wedding anniversary. This lent a nice human touch to the proceedings. This may also explain why Obama’s performance may have been perceived as off. Seriously, guys, if you were married to an attractive woman like Michelle Obama, and you were stuck spending your anniversary with a guy who will do anything to take your job away from you, where would your mind be? Now let’s be honest…

In the days leading up to the debate, word leaked that Romney was being prepped with lots of zingers – pithy one-liners (read: sound bites) — that would target Obama and his accomplishments. The morning excerpts did not yield many zingers, which is just as well. Such sound bites may be easy to memorize and easier for the intended audience to remember, but they still offer little in the way of substance on the issues. Even then you have to dig for substance; beyond the pundits, politicians, and HuffPo bloggers, who amongst us in the working class has the time to dig?

Or perhaps there was a more complex, more nefarious, plan at work last night. Consider this: perhaps the last few weeks of Romney gaffes and missteps were not accidents. Maybe they were all part of a plan to make Romney look stronger in the debates. The campaign would not have had to do much, aside from allowing Romney to be Romney at campaign stops, easing up on micro-managing his every word, every nuance of his speeches. 

The net effect over a period of time would have lowered the psychological bar for Romney. The electorate and the media would have had lower expectations of his performance at the debate. The stories about zingers? Just a story, fabricated to make people believe that Romney would offer nothing more than a string of one-liners from the podium. 

On debate night, the media didn’t have high hopes for Romney, when BAM, Romney the awkward candidate was replaced by Romney the super salesman! He hit everyone! He battered Obama with statistics, roughed up Jim Lehrer’s reputation, figuratively plucked Big Bird, left Chris Matthews sputtering, and lifted his base into believing that, yes, they could see a Republican occupying the White House again soon!

And we fell for it!

Of course my little conspiracy theory will be hard to prove, if it is ever proven at all. If it does turn out to be true, then I must say it was brilliantly played! However, fellow liberals, I say fear not! The race is not yet over! The election is still weeks away!

I take comfort in the fact that, not too long ago, another incumbent by the name of George W. Bush had a less than stellar performance in his first debate against Democratic challenger John Kerry. His overuse of the word Um…um…um to link his ideas together was staggering. At that time, it gave the liberal media comfort that the sitting President was a babbling fool. 

The reaction to Obama’s performance last night is similar to George W. Bush’s performance eight years ago. But let me point out one detail: the incumbent in 2004 won!

(Thank you for reading. As I said before, “Tut, tut!”)


Anonymous janey said...

Is Paul Ryan free this weekend? :-)

October 5, 2012 at 8:01 AM  
Blogger Bob said...

Plus, Mittsy broke the landspeed record for the number of lies per minute while he spoke, so there's that, too.

October 5, 2012 at 9:11 AM  

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