A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Found: Checks and Balances!

Recently, a few members of the Republican Senate leadership remembered that they still had a vital part of their male anatomy, and stood up to the King-in-Chief on the issue of interrogating suspected terrorists. The rebels, Senators Warner, McCain, and Graham, believe that America’s reputation would be harmed if the Bush administration were allowed to do what it pleased when it comes to extracting information from captured terrorists. The problem is, as the Senators have pointed out, this circumventing of the Geneva Convention (an actual international agreement and not just a punchline used in “Hogan’s Heroes”) could have repercussions on any Americans being held prisoner in other hostile countries.

Most importantly, these Senator’s actions show that the Constitutional concept of checks and balances is alive. The concept is probably not well; I can only imagine it was found in the deepest, darkest recesses of the Capitol building. Checks and balances – they usually travel as a pair – has been neglected lately. It wouldn’t surprise me if they were found shivering and hungry somewhere between a stack of reel-to-reel tapes labeled “Nixon’s Legacy” and the battered, bruised body of Justice with her scales twisted around her neck. I hope they can be nursed back to health, because they will need their strength in the political battles that lie ahead.

Checks and balances will need their strength to go up against the other White House pets like “Rubber Stamp”, “Arrogance”, “Petty Vindictiveness”, and, of course, “Karl”. The Bush administration has tried to stuff checks and balances back into the pumpkin where Alger Hiss’ microfilm was found, whenever they have called anyone who questioned them “appeasers” and “traitors”. This trick simply will not work, and I’m sure that once we wipe the pumpkin seeds off of them that checks and balances will be itching for a fight.

Of course, checks and balances can’t do this alone. They need help from you, yes, YOU, Mr. and Mrs./Ms. American voter! Yes, here comes the sales pitch! I will not try to influence how any one casts their vote in the upcoming Congressional elections, but I will say consider the advantage of checks and balances in your life. Before you pull the lever, pencil punch that card, or dangle your chad, think about checks and balances.

Just think how important it is in our lives. It separates the tyrants from the benevolent rulers, and the foolish kings from the wise leaders. It enables the legislators – the officials you elect – to go to the President and say, “Now, wait a minute, Mr. Bush. Maybe we’re all acting a bit hasty here. Maybe we should step back, look at the situation again, and consider all of the possible consequences of our actions. We should talk this over civilly without name calling and character...Mr. President, please put Dick and Karl back in their cages...”

This is your chance, America! Bring back checks and balances and restore their vitality so that they can serve all of us again. Once this is done we’ll see if we can get Justice off life support.


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