Anger Therapy

Guess what segment of the population has ticked me off now? Here’s a clue:

Q. How many letter carriers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Three. One to hold the ladder, one to screw in the bulb and one to figure out the zip code!*

It seems that the USPS managed to lose three of my bill payments last month, one of them being the mortgage payment. Now I’m getting hit with late fees, and it wasn’t my fault. How about this one?

Q. How do you sink a submarine full of letter carriers?
A. Knock on the hatch!**

Ohhh, that was fun! I just recycled a blonde joke and substituted the word letter carriers. This process of making jokes to work through my anger at the postal service is sooo satisfying. Also, it’s much more legal than blowing up government property, which I would never advise people to do. I wonder if this would work for other people. I can just imagine what an anger-riddled personality like Osama bin-Laden would write:

“These two infidels walk into a bar, sit down next to a Jihad fighter, who blows himself up! The bar is destroyed and everyone is killed. Ha ha!”***

Okay, I guess this militant, extremist type of comedy doesn’t translate to our culture very well. Wait, let’s try it this way: “These two letter carriers walk into a bar and sit down next to a Jihad fighter...”

(In the name of good taste, we are discontinuing Mr. Gunther’s anger therapy for today.)

*With apologies to Captain Billy’s Whiz Bang.
**With apologies to Playboy Magazine.
***With apologies to everyone else!