A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Short Notes – August 2007

The following news items deserve some sort of commentary, but unfortunately not enough to fulfill my minimum seven paragraphs requirement.

Hitler’s Record Collection

Recently, news has been released that Adolph Hitler's collection of favorite recordings were found in the attic of a deceased Russian intelligence officer. Among Der Fuhrer’s favorite composers were Tchiakovsky, as well as various Polish and Jewish composers. The report also noted that Hitler would secretly listen to these recordings, since the works of these composers were banned in Nazi Germany.

This is just wonderful! Of all the horrible things this man did, now he turns out to be a hypocrite too! How can the current crop of neo-Nazis ever respect a maniacal, psychopathic, mass-murdering dictator who can’t abide by his own rules? I don’t know what makes him look so great to some people! What is the world coming to?

The 30th Anniversary of Elvis Going to That Great Heartbreak Hotel in the Sky

The King died on this date thirty years ago. Many fans will travel to Memphis to tour his estate at Graceland, pay their respects, and fork over whatever is left of their meager savings to every huckster selling Elvis t-shirts, Elvis shot glasses, Elvis commemerative prescription bottles, and anything else on which they can put Elvis’ image within the Memphis city limits. There has to be a better way to celebrate the life of a great entertainer.

I would play one of his songs (“Can’t Help Falling in Love” is my favorite) as my own way of remembering his passing. Then I would write a simple message to all of his fans: “The king is dead! Get over it! Get a life!”

The thirtieth anniversary of Groucho Marx passing away happens this Sunday. Am I going to get all morose and drink myself into a stupor? No! Will I make a pilgrimage to his gravesite and ask, “Hey, Groucho, what’s the secret word?” No! Am I going to sit in front of a television all day and play all of my Marx Brothers tapes? Well, that might not be a bad idea...I mean, no, of course not! I may insult a dowager in Groucho’s memory, but beyond that I have too many other things to accomplish that day.


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