Snort Notes – February 2010
NOR’EASTER DUMPS UP TO THIRTY INCHES OF SNOW ON THE MID-ATLANTIC REGION
On a totally unrelated note, Punxsutawney Phil has entered the witness protection program. Speaking of cruelty to animals...
WOMAN SELLING GOTHIC KITTENS IS SENTENCED ON ANIMAL CRUELTY CHARGES
A Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania dog groomer was recently convicted of animal cruelty after selling “gothic kittens”. She would pierce their ears and insert ear rings through the holes, much like teenagers and young adults pursuing the goth lifestyle would do. Another example of niche marketing going too far!
I’ll pause in my narrative here to give any cats reading this a chance to sharpen their claws in anger at this woman.
The most bizarre part about this story is that the defense attorney argued for dismissal of the charges because pet owners should not be held to a higher standard than parents who allow their children to get their ears pierced. Hey, with logic like this, he’s a shoo-in to be elected judge. Hey, wouldn’t you know it? There are a couple bench vacancies in that part of the state due to the ongoing judicial corruption probe of Judges...oh, I forgot their names again.
I guess I could look them up, but I’m feeling a bit lazy today. Let’s just rename them. Henceforth in this blog we shall refer to them — in the spirit of all the young lives they destroyed just to make a buck - as Judge Asshole #1 and Judge Asshole #2! Better yet, sentence the attorney to hundreds of hours of community service in a local animal shelter.
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS WIN LOMBARDI TROPHY IN THEIR FIRST EVER SUPERBOWL APPEARANCE BY BEATING THE INDIANAPOLIS COLTS, 31-17
In a totally unrelated development, the entire Colts organization has entered the witness protection program.
MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL PITCHERS AND CATCHERS REPORT TO SPRING TRAINING IN ONE WEEK. PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES FANS ARE PARTICULARLY ANXIOUS FOR THE 2010 SEASON TO BEGIN
We want a rematch with the Yankees in the World Series. This time...IT’S PERSONAL!!!!!!
SCOTT BROWN TAKES OATH FOR SENATE SEAT PREVIOUSLY HELD BY THE LATE TED KENNEDY. HIS UPSET VICTORY TAKES THE MAJORITY STATUS AWAY FROM THE DEMOCRATS AND ENDANGERS PRESIDENT OBAMA’S DOMESTIC AGENDA
On a totally unrelated note, President Obama’s health care reform bill has entered the witness protection program.
(Thank you for reading! As snowflakes fall and cold winds howl please remember: summer is just a spring away!)
On a totally unrelated note, Punxsutawney Phil has entered the witness protection program. Speaking of cruelty to animals...
WOMAN SELLING GOTHIC KITTENS IS SENTENCED ON ANIMAL CRUELTY CHARGES
A Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania dog groomer was recently convicted of animal cruelty after selling “gothic kittens”. She would pierce their ears and insert ear rings through the holes, much like teenagers and young adults pursuing the goth lifestyle would do. Another example of niche marketing going too far!
I’ll pause in my narrative here to give any cats reading this a chance to sharpen their claws in anger at this woman.
The most bizarre part about this story is that the defense attorney argued for dismissal of the charges because pet owners should not be held to a higher standard than parents who allow their children to get their ears pierced. Hey, with logic like this, he’s a shoo-in to be elected judge. Hey, wouldn’t you know it? There are a couple bench vacancies in that part of the state due to the ongoing judicial corruption probe of Judges...oh, I forgot their names again.
I guess I could look them up, but I’m feeling a bit lazy today. Let’s just rename them. Henceforth in this blog we shall refer to them — in the spirit of all the young lives they destroyed just to make a buck - as Judge Asshole #1 and Judge Asshole #2! Better yet, sentence the attorney to hundreds of hours of community service in a local animal shelter.
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS WIN LOMBARDI TROPHY IN THEIR FIRST EVER SUPERBOWL APPEARANCE BY BEATING THE INDIANAPOLIS COLTS, 31-17
In a totally unrelated development, the entire Colts organization has entered the witness protection program.
MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL PITCHERS AND CATCHERS REPORT TO SPRING TRAINING IN ONE WEEK. PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES FANS ARE PARTICULARLY ANXIOUS FOR THE 2010 SEASON TO BEGIN
We want a rematch with the Yankees in the World Series. This time...IT’S PERSONAL!!!!!!
SCOTT BROWN TAKES OATH FOR SENATE SEAT PREVIOUSLY HELD BY THE LATE TED KENNEDY. HIS UPSET VICTORY TAKES THE MAJORITY STATUS AWAY FROM THE DEMOCRATS AND ENDANGERS PRESIDENT OBAMA’S DOMESTIC AGENDA
On a totally unrelated note, President Obama’s health care reform bill has entered the witness protection program.
(Thank you for reading! As snowflakes fall and cold winds howl please remember: summer is just a spring away!)
posted by todd gunther | 5:15 PM
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