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Friday, December 17, 2010

2010 Christmas List for Celebrities

This year, everyone should be given a good book to read. Herewith are our humble suggestions for required reading for selected celebrities in the coming year. Note: any resemblance between these book titles and actual books is purely coincidental.

For Republican House member and Speaker heir apparent John Boehner...Cockle-Doodle-Poop: A Complete Social and Political History of Chicken Crap.

For soon-to-be-ex-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi...Losing Well: How to Cope with Being Second Best.

For Senator John McCain...Major Tom Loves Lt. Harry: Overcoming Your Homophobia in the Military.

For President Barack Obama...A Complete Directory of Friends: Where to Find Them in Washington DC.

For Congressional Democrats...Living as a Minority Power in Congress: A How To Survival Guide After You’ve Been Bitch-Slapped By Your Constituents.

For Congressional Republicans...Living Humbly as a Majority Power in Congress: A How To Survival Guide After You’ve Gleefully Twisted The Knife Into The Guts Of Your Congressional Colleagues.

For former BP CEO Tony Hayward...The Joys of Modern Yachting: Getting Your Life Back on the High Seas.

For Wiki Leaks founder Julian Assange...Tight-Lipped: Keeping Secrets for Fun and Profit.

And finally, I cannot leave out Sarah Palin...Refudiating Smartness: Intelligent Sound Bites for Political Morons.

(Thank you for reading. Please remember the adventures of the mind which await you between the pages of a good book, or the screen of a Kindle, or ipad, or whatever...)


Anonymous Janey said...

May I propose the following?

For Hillary Clinton: How to Break Through the Glass Celing to Seize Control of a Struggling Nation

For Rob Novelli: How to Shut Your Fucking Mouth and Therefore Stay Out of Trouble

For AnneMarie Gunther: How to Tolerate an Unemployed and Bored Spouse: A Survivor's Guide to Avoid Repeatedly Bitch-Slapping the One You Love

Foe Todd Gunther: How to Make Money Sitting at Home Writing a Snappy and Sarcastic Blog of "Rhetorical Criticism"

December 18, 2010 at 8:05 AM  

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