Least Popular Interest Groups

Some years ago, Anne Marie and I saw Jeffrey, a romantic comedy about a gay man looking for love at a time when AIDS was decimating the gay community. One scene featured a rally in Central Park, where an organizer announces where different groups should gather for the gay pride parade. Naturally, the members within each group declare their pride loud and boisterously.

Groups like “Dykes on Bikes” revved their engines when their name is called. Yet, when he calls out “Black Gay Republicans”, you could hear a pin drop. Everyone in the audience immediately knew this was an improbable combination. Indeed, one theatergoer sitting behind us sniffed, “There can’t be many in that group.”

This episode led me to speculate on what interest groups we might see this year for the current crop of potential political candidates. Naturally, the big groups like the National Rifle Association and AARP will have their own vast constituency, and subsequently don’t create a challenge for my satirical exercise. But what about some other groups that may come together to support a candidate which by their actions or position on issues actually run counter to the group’s own objectives and interests?

So, in the spirit of Jeffrey, here is a short list of improbable candidate interest groups. These groups maybe have nearly one member...possibly, and even then this is a very rough estimate.

1. LGBTQ for Santorum

2. Responsible Historians for Bachmann

3. MENSA Members for Perry

4. Bald Men for Trump

5. Sane Thinking Democrats for Gingrich

6. Conservative Republicans for Romney

7. Single, Desirable Women for Cain (suspended)

8. Tax and Spend Liberals for Paul

And finally, we would be remiss if we left the President out of the fun:

9. Birthers for Obama

(Thank you for reading. And a special thank you to Jeffrey.)