A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, July 13, 2012

Governing by “Let’s Pretend”

Health care reform is the government topic that refuses to die. It‘s certainly worthy of debate and scrutiny since it would affect millions of people. But, seriously, wasn’t the symbolic vote by the US House – I mean Republican led US House — to repeal the Affordable Care Act borderline pathetic?

Oh sure, the vote reassured their constituency at Fox News where they stood on the issue, but did it really change anything? Their repeal effort is expected to die again in the Democrat-controlled Senate for the 33rd time. Yes, this is the Republican’s 33rd attempt to get rid of Obamacare. Thirty-three times! Can you imagine what the US House could have done in the time it took them to debate and actually vote on the repeal?

Well, let’s imagine. They could have voted on one of Obama’s proposals to create jobs, for one thing. Oh, but that would have expanded the fed's role in our lives, and it might have made Obama look good in the eyes of the American people. Heaven knows we can’t do anything which will make the President look good and a more desirable pick to be re-elected. Worst of all, it might actually put Americans back to work! 

Besides, we should leave job creation to the job creators…you know, those people who have been asleep at the switch for the last twelve years? Yes, those people!

The issue keeps popping up in the news because the losers don’t want to let go of it. Well, get over it! The law was debated, voted on, passed and signed by politicians who were duly elected by the voters of the United States! It’s time to move on!

It’s time to tackle other issues. Let’s move away from the “repeal and replace” (replace, now there’s a laugh) sound bite to another three word mantra that even the enfeebled Fox News watchers would understand, “Jobs, jobs, jobs!” Or as Vice-President Biden put it, “Jobs, j-o-b-s, jobs!” Wasn’t it nice of the Vice President to turn this idea into a spelling bee?

It has been reported since the vote that the GOP’s efforts to repeal the law have cost American taxpayers nearly $50 million. The CBO arrived at this figure by estimating the number of hours the House devoted to debating repeal (80 hours) which translates to two full work weeks, and @ $24 million dollars per House work week. Imagine: they spent fifty million dollars and NOTHING WAS ACCOMPLISHED!

As an American taxpayer, I am deeply offended at this wanton waste of my tax dollars. I DEMAND A REFUND!

It must be nice to be all grown up and still spend your entire day playing. Surely they knew this vote would not accomplish its goal, so surely they knew they were not working, not governing, but only “play” governing. Hey, everyone, governing the largest democracy in the world is just too hard and too complicated! So let’s just pretend to govern!

Okay, in the interest of being fair and balanced on the issue of health care reform, I should mention Mitt Romney. That’s it! I just want to mention his name. (These sentences were not paid for, leased by, or otherwise rented in the name of someone’s presidential campaign.)

Now, where was I? Oh, yes, expressing unmitigated outrage at what passes for government at the federal level nowadays! I don’t like to belittle an entire third of the federal government, but damn it to hell, you people are wasting your time and our tax money. I’m sorry if my talking down to you sounds harsh, and I really don’t want to upset little Johnny Boehner (Oops, too late! He’s crying again!) However, we elect you people to be problem solvers, not stooges of the corporate elite.

Let me put it another way. Look, boys and girls — and I mean the term boys and girls more as an accurate reflection of your maturity level rather than a term of endearment — it’s time you earned your keep. Start solving some of the problems we citizens face every day. This will involve hard work and compromising, and not pretending to do real work.

If you do resolve some of our issues, and you prove to be good boys and girls, then who knows? The next time you come up for re-election we might let you play in the Senate! Now doesn’t that sound like fun?

(Thank you for reading. Hey, Congressional Republicans: grow up already!)


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