Snort Bites – March 2013

ELDERLY WOMAN DROPS OFF GRENADE AT RECYCLING CENTER IN SWEDEN

This story should remind us all of the do’s and don’ts of recycling our unwanted items. First, not all military weapons can be recycled. Many municipalities only accept grenades stamped with the numbers "1" or "2" on the bottom. Grenades marked "3" through "7" are almost never recycled. Ditto for small thermal-nuclear devices. Honestly, I don’t know of any town or township in America that will accept these items for recycling purposes. (My killjoy editor has just informed me that no military weapons are ever accepted anywhere for recycling. Way to play along, Anne Marie!)

SUPREME COURT HEARS ARGUMENTS FOR REPEALING CALIFORNIA’S PROPOSITION 8 AND DOMA

Polls show that the idea of marriage equality is gaining wider acceptance in American society and all eyes were on the Supreme Court this week as arguments were heard to repeal California’s version of a same-sex marriage ban (Proposition 8) and the federal government’s Defense of Marriage Act. All eyes are on them AS IF they will have the final say on the matter.

It’s another example of the glass being half empty/half full. Half full: If the court strikes down both, then gay couples everywhere may immediately reap financial benefits in regard to joint property laws. It may even accelerate the slow-as-a-turtle momentum of same-sex marriage laws that are winding through various state legislatures. It could also galvanize the far right to push for laws reinforcing DOMA laws, Supreme Court be damned! I can just see the Fox News inspired paranoia now!

OR — the dreaded OR —

Half empty: The court will uphold both laws which will be bad news for many gay couples; but make no mistake, the debate will rage on. Look at what a Supreme Court decision did for abortion rights. In 1973, Roe V. Wade legalized abortion, and 40 years later states are taking steps to restrict abortion rights. In other words, the Supreme Court decision in 1973 did nothing!

OR — the Supreme Court will just tip the glass over and issue a vague ruling on both laws, which won’t make anyone happy. 

  

On a related note….

CONGRESSPERSONS AND OTHER CELEBRITIES CHOOSE TO SUPPORT SAME-SEX MARRIAGE

A growing number of Senators have in recent weeks voiced their support for same-sex marriage as the Supreme Court hearings approached. A short list of these legislators: Claire McCaskill, Rob Portman (Republican!), Mark Warner and Jay Rockefeller. Influential Americans outside the government have also lent their voices to the cause: former First Lady/Senator/Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, and former governor Christine Todd Whitman (another Republican, exclamation point.)

In more recent days, a noteworthy show of support for same-sex marriage was heard from country singer/songwriter/icon/marijuana smoker Willie Nelson. His viewpoint might have been surprising, given his standing within the country western music community. On the other hand, Nelson has long been on the outlaw fringe of that community, so maybe we shouldn’t be surprised. He sees no sense to the double standard of laws behind straight and same-sex marriage.

Besides, try finding a line that rhymes with the lyric, “Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be homosexual!” Good luck with that!

And on that cheap shot, my fellow liberals, we bid adieu to March!

(Thank you for reading! Happy holidays!)