arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

My Photo
Name:
Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Cancelled: God and Son


I feel I owe an explanation to long time readers that this year’s Easter holiday season passed without the annual arteejee blog episode of God and Son.  The answer was simple: this year’s episode was cancelled due to poor ratings from the previous episodes.

There is also the added factor that the actors employed in the previous episodes were not available to appear this year.  The actor who played the Son sent his regrets of unavailability with the explanation that he was now employed in a “long term gig”.   It turns out that this “long term gig” is standing in front of a fast food chicken chain (which we won’t name) dressed as a cow and holding a sign that is supposed to entice people to eat the fast food chain’s products.  

So, if he finds career fulfillment wearing a cow’s udder where his family jewels are ensconced on his person, then who am I to complain.

The actor playing God was also likewise not available.   He reportedly is hiding out with Harvey Weinstein as another casualty of the #MeToo movement.  I have no more details to divulge beyond this…

In any event, WQ and I had a quiet Easter at home, relaxing, eating a fine dinner, and devouring chocolates as demanded by the requirements of the holiday.  We had a discussion about chocolates and other confections which would conform more to the actual reason for the holiday.  I proposed chocolates beyond the shapes of eggs and bunnies.

What about a chocolate crucifix?  WQ said she has seen chocolates shaped like crosses. Okay, but how about a chocolate Jesus figure to pose on the cross.  (Readers are hereby warned that this entry is now entering the realm of irreverent satire.  Go back if you cannot stomach this; all others are encouraged to follow me into this dark territory.)  From here, it is simply a short step towards chocolates shaped as Roman Centurions.   Buy the cross, Jesus, and the Centurions!  Collect the whole set to re-enact the events on Calvary!

No doubt a chocolatier somewhere in Europe has crafted such a set for a tableaux display, the Easter equivalent of the Christmas creche.  Oh, wait, there’s more!   Call within the next fifteen minutes and get the additional Twelve Disciples chocolate set at no additional cost!  Each member of Jesus’ entourage faithfully and lovingly recreated in milk or dark chocolate!

You too can re-enact the Last Supper in your Easter basket!  Be the first in your household to bite the head off the John the Baptist figurine...

(EDITOR’S NOTE: WE’RE STOPPING THIS ENTRY HERE.  WE HAVE NO OTHER DETAILS TO DIVULGE.)

(Thank you for reading…this far!)

4 Comments:

Blogger Bob Slatten said...

I'd like the whole chocolate set!

April 15, 2018 at 10:16 AM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

Someone mailed your shirt on Saturday.

April 15, 2018 at 9:24 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you, Bob. Would you like them in milk, dark or white chocolate?

Thank you Spo for the message. How many chocolate Disciples can we put you down for?

April 16, 2018 at 6:25 AM  
Anonymous Old Lurker said...

Let us not forget the edible figurines of the other two souls scheduled to be crucified that afternoon. They taste better if you steal them from the store.

April 17, 2018 at 10:02 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home