arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Saturday, May 26, 2018

And Now Your Weather Forecast for the Memorial Day Holiday*


Tonight, May 26, 2018

Cloudy, showers likely after midnight.  Low 65 degrees F.

Sunday, May 27, 2018

Muggy, with chance of showers throughout the day.  High 80 degrees F.

Monday, May 28, 2018

Blinding light followed immediately by very intense heat coming from the very far east.  All solid objects will either burn, metal will melt into molten liquid, and all cell base life forms will instantly turn to dust.  Smoke from millions of fires will reduce visibility to less than 500 feet.  Breathing for any life forms not vaporized by the initial nuclear detonation will be impossible.  Chance of survival is expected to be less than 1%, as huge chunks of the planet burst and are hurled into deep space.  High 1,000,000,009 degrees F.

Oh my God!   We did it!  We finally did it!  Goddamn us all to Hell!  Oh, the humanity!   “Don’t know where, don’t know when, but we’ll meet again…..”

AUGGGGGHHHH!

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Sunshine in the morning, chance of showers in the evening.  High 77 degrees F.

And oh yes, have a nice week!

*Given the current status of relations between the United States and North Korea.

(Thank you for reading.  “…some sunny day!!!!!!!!!”)

5 Comments:

Blogger Deedles said...

Well, that was verrrry interesting, I must say!

May 26, 2018 at 6:55 PM  
Blogger Raybeard said...

Not really ideal weather, then?

May 26, 2018 at 11:34 PM  
Blogger Bob Slatten said...

At least Tuesday will be nice ...for anyone left.

May 27, 2018 at 7:52 AM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you, Deedles. BTW, feel free to sleep in tomorrow.

We definitely won't need to fire up the grill, Raybeard.

Thank you Bob. Yes, thank God for Tuesday.

May 27, 2018 at 8:51 AM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

it's a dry heat

May 27, 2018 at 6:11 PM  

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