The Sunday Morning Post (V.1; #2) - Days Without A Fall: 5

I reconciled myself to the fact years ago that I have always been a physical “klutz”.  I’m not sure the origin of this word, but I’m guessing it’s one of those delightful Yiddish terms which has permeated our melting pot American culture.

Despite this realization, I have, remarkably, been able to ambulate on my two feet (Warrior Queen would use the term “shuffling” when describing how I walk) for years.  Okay, so there is the occasional stumble over a wire on the floor, but there have been virtually no all-out, whack-a-doodle (another interesting term decidedly non-Yiddish), catastrophic falls.  That is, until this week, when I fell not once, but twice in two days.

To be fair, it was an odd week weather-wise, which I believe did contribute to conditions being more slippery under my shuffling feet. 

The first fall happened on Monday when I was assisting Warrior Queen in bringing in groceries from her car to our sunporch door.  I wanted to complete this task in as few round trips as possible so we could both get out of the cold winter weather.  I picked up the last two bags (out of a five-bag order) and took a short cut through the sloping grass section between the driveway and the sunporch.  The grass is dead and dry, but it must have been slippery, because I was soon landing on my right side, spilling the bags in front of me.

Warrior Queen did not witness my fall as she was putting her car in the garage at the moment of my accident.  She offered to help me up, but I waved her off.  I just envisioned my luck transferring to her and I would end up pulling her down with me I crawled a few short steps to the porch where I was able to use the outside wall to pull myself up.  I ached for a while that night, but a dose of PM pain pills allowed me to get a good night’s sleep.

That was Monday.

On Tuesday the weather had turned more winter like: colder and rainy, with the raindrops becoming sleet and snow flakes as I arrived home from work.  Our trash had been collected that morning and the empty can was waiting for one of us to pull it back behind the house for the week.  I pulled the day’s mail from the mail box, stuffed that in my winter coat pocket, and pulled the can down the driveway.  I thought I could get the can up the sloping grass surface, now coated with freezing precipitation, and in its place without mishap.  

What the hell was I thinking?  I couldn’t navigate the grass when it was dry, so why should I be thinking I could do it today when conditions were decidedly worse. 

Ah, where would we fools be without our follies?

The can slipped from my hands and toppled on its side.  I followed it down, striking my left knee hard on the driveway macadam.   The mail fell out of my pocket and all of us – me, the can and the mail – laid there momentarily allowing the freezing rain to soak all of us.  Warrior Queen was not home yet and I had to pull myself up, pick up the now soaked mail, and right the can.  Somehow I was able to get my car in the garage and get inside without further incident, the knee aching the entire time.  I have been fall free since those days early in the week, which should explain the cryptic title at the top.

I was able to finish the work week with some aches, and after a few days my knee cap has swelled up and I have had a nice purple contusion for a few days.   I have held off seeking medical attention since I have a previously scheduled follow up with my primary care physician tomorrow and a previously scheduled follow up with the orthopedic surgeon later in the week.  At least the latter office has x-rays on the premises where I hope I’ll get a proper diagnosis and a course of pain pills.

I’m hoping I won’t need surgery, but until next week…

(Thank you for reading. By the way, “Ouch!”)