A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Monday, February 27, 2006

Average American Daily Concern #2493

During the most recent misunderstanding between the Bush administration and the American people, many of us voiced concerns that our shipping ports would be taken over by a company based in an Arab country. The first reports made it sound like the deal, approved by the Bush administration, was another case of outsourcing American jobs. Subsequent reports have ruled out this concern.

However, the Bush people lashed back at the objections with their usual rally cry, "Trust us!" When will they learn that this expression has out-lived its usefulness for this administration? Then there were cries that the concerns were based in xenophobia.

While all of us hope that our motives for doubt were not rooted in prejudice, we must acknowledge that some of our countrymen will hate the Arab nations just because they are Arabian. One official raised the point that people never objected when port control was in the hands of another country, Great Britain, who are now selling their interests to the United Arab Emirates.

My immediate reaction was that people didn't object to a British company controlling our ports because many of us didn't know that the British controlled some of our ports. I’m guessing that most Americans believe our ports are run by a couple of Teamsters named Chollie and Vinnie. I will go out on a limb and say that concern for this port control by a foreign company (British, Arab or otherwise) is rather far down on our list of worries that the average American faces each day. While I won't pretend to speak for all Americans, I think I could come up with a short list of everyday concerns about which the average American worries.

Here we go: what should I wear? Should I eat breakfast or just have coffee? What is the weather for today? How is the traffic? Feed the children, pack their lunch, and get them out the door for school. Will I be late for work? How do I look? I must send that e-mail joke to the guys! I must ask the girls what they watched on television last night! Will I complete my project today? Will I keep my job today? If I don't, how will I feed, clothe and house the family? How will I pay for our medical bills? What's for lunch? Where shall I go during lunch break? Do I have to run any errands today? Pick up the kids, take them to practice. Get home, fix dinner, clean up. Do I have time/energy for any other chores tonight? And who made the very first move?

Sorry, that last one was lifted from a Jim Steinman song, and is not necessarily an everyday concern. Anyway, the above list has only 26 items Americans could worry about on a daily basis. We're nowhere near worrying about international affairs! I have arbitrarily assigned our topic as Average American Daily Concern #2493, my estimate as to what priority port security takes in our lives, and probably the federal government’s. If anyone wants to figure out what Daily Concerns #27 - 2492 are, then I would advise you to please get a life!


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