A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Sly Ben

The US Postal Service is honoring famous American, Benjamin Franklin, with a series of stamps this week to commemorate his 300th birthday. Here are my suggestions to honor the various facets of his life. First we have Ben


Posed with his trademark glasses and wearing a damp overcoat, Franklin shows how he gave his all in his most famous experiment: the discovery of electricity. He should be shown with his hair slightly singed, wisps of smoke rising from his clothing, as he proudly holds the remains of a very charred kite. Or, there is Ben


Here he is shown with grim determination on his face while holding a musket. His hair is covered with a red, white and blue bandana (personally presented to him by Betsy Ross) as a banner reading. "Yorktown or Bust!" is unfurled above him. Or, there is Ben


Now he is hunkered down at his desk, fingertips blackened with ink, visor on his forehead, as he uses a quill pen to edit his rough draft on parchment paper. A glum looking accountant from Knight-Ridder watches Ben from over his shoulder. Or we can show Ben


We see him perched on a stool, microphone in hand, Philadelphia Eagles cap askew on his head, and in the spotlight where he is knocking them dead with his Poor Richard witticisms at one of the now defunct Olde City comedy clubs. Once his set at club is done, we can see Ben


On the prowl for that late night rendezvous, Ben sports a broad grin and a wink as he sizes up tonight’s conquest. He wears a robe, smokes a long-stemmed pipe and has a silhouette of a turkey on his chest (What can I say? He really wanted the turkey to be the national bird!). It doesn't matter if his companion is a London charwoman (or her daughter), a Parisian courtesan (or her sister), or a Philadelphia milking maid (or her mother), the widower Franklin is ready to take his role as Ambassador of the City of Brotherly Love seriously.

Belated Happy Birthday, you ole rascal!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your ideas for Ben Franklin stamps are quite interesting.

I look forward to seeing those stamps on my incoming mail but I won't hold my breath. You must really know a lot about history.

Catawissa lady

April 11, 2006 at 3:23 PM  

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