A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, December 29, 2006

Year End Cabbages and Kings

Herewith are a few comments on events of the last few days.

Gerald R. Ford

The unelected successor to Richard M. Nixon died earlier this week, leaving a legacy of doing the right thing at what seemed like the wrong time. During his short tenure (two and a half years), he pardoned his predecessor for all Watergate-related crimes, oversaw the fall of Saigon and the disastrous end of our involvement in Vietnam, and refused to bail out New York City from its financial woes, among other events. Many commentators have pointed at his pardon of Nixon as the reason he may have lost the 1976 election to Jimmy Carter, although I think it was the right thing to do at the time to get the country over Watergate. Anyway, I recall that his 1976 loss may have had other factors involved. For instance, remember the New York Post headline, “Ford to City: Drop Dead!” Oh yeah, that would warm me up to vote Republican if I were living in New York City at the time. Overall, Ford was a victim of circumstance, capping a lifetime of public service to his country at the most thankless point in our history.

James Brown

The Godfather of Soul passed away on Christmas Day, a bad time to leave humanity, but as good a time as any to enter the afterlife. I never heard much of his work unless I was listening to the oldies radio station, but many articles point to his work ethic, his staying power in show business, and his influences on other musicians. He seemed to be one of those breeds of consummate performers – Ray Charles springs to mind as another one – who are quickly passing from our sight. These performers concerned themselves with giving their all for their audience. Brown’s death seemed so sudden, given the fact that he was handing out Christmas gifts to the children of Atlanta two days before he died. James Brown was a real professional to the end.

Polar Bears

Good morning, Bush Administration! Isn’t it a lovely spring morning, even though it’s DECEMBER? Are you finally ready to concede the existence of global warming? Did you see that Moscow is brown and balmy, when they should have cold wintry conditions at this time of year? Have you noticed that the polar bear habitats are slowly melting away? The poor bruins have been drowning in the ocean, unable to find their traditional food source, resorting to cannibalism, and lying about hitting on White House interns. All right, I made that last one up, but their situation is dire. I hope you’re finally waking up to the reality of man’s impact on the global environment. The Russians know this, and the polar bears know this, and I can’t resist asking you this: how does it feel to be dumber than a polar bear?


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