A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Ann and The F Word

Well, Ms. Coulter, you’ve stuck your foot in your mouth again. Do you realize how unladylike putting your foot in your mouth is? It’s also not very safe, particularly if you don’t take your shoes off first and those long stiletto heels pierce your cheeks. It’s also unhealthy because you never know where those shoes have been.

You did it using language that I would never use. In my opinion, the word you used is just as offensive as the “n” word. Obviously you live by a different standard.

I hope my addressing you as Ms. doesn’t offend your traditional conservative keep-em-barefoot-and-pregnant-in-the-kitchen-sensibilities. If it does, too bad! You have offended liberals (not that you care) for so long that it’s about time you felt the sting of political backlash. I find it interesting that the protests are not only coming from liberals, but also from your beloved target conservative audience.

You have in the past called Bill Clinton and Al Gore “faggots”; now you’ve extended this label to John Edwards as well. I have to wonder, as I’m sure many other people are also wondering, how you conclude that these men are what you say they are. We should probably set down a more correct definition of the word that you are throwing around with such careless abandon.

Without consulting a dictionary – that would be a very big book with lots of words telling you what they mean, Ms. Coulter – I will furnish my understanding of the word “faggot.”

It is my understanding that this is a slang term, considered derogatory, for a homosexual male. I’ve never heard it used in reference to gay females, although I realize that there are a few other terms equally derogatory for lesbians.

Let me guess how your dictionary defines this word: slang term referring to any liberal twit who disagrees with my narrow-minded, intolerant conservative point-of-view. Would this be correct, Ms Coulter? My, there certainly must be a lot of “faggots” in this country. If you’re determined to out each and every one of them, then you had better get busy.

Of course, there are drawbacks to your campaign of going around the country and outing people who disagree with you. Your actions do discourage civilized debate on the problems our country faces, but don’t let the fact that this is one of the principles on which this country was founded stop you. Your actions also embarrass your conservative brethren, making them look bad and foolish, and perhaps unelectable for high office...hmmmmm.

No, on second thought, you go girl! Keep on keeping on! Sure, we’ll react with anger, and we may even throw a pie in your face once in awhile. Then you should be grateful if that’s all we do. After all, a pie must taste better than shoe leather.


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