A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, August 19, 2011

Gaffe Parade

Newly anointed presidential front runner Michele Bachmann has probably had better weeks in her life. Oh, it started off nicely last weekend when she won the Iowa Straw Poll, and everyone knows what an accurate barometer of America’s voting attitude that is...NOT! Then it happened! A new week dawned with new chances to prove herself worthy to the American electorate...again, NOT!

Dogged by a few missteps early in the week brought renewed focus on her lack of knowledge on...well, you name the subject, and she managed to screw it up! During a busy weekend of political events, Bachmann was late for one of the events, and then challenged by reporters as to why she was late. Well, she explained, she had a lot of ground to cover in Iowa — a political fund raising dinner here, a speech there, and, oh yes, a big family reunion in Waterloo. Well, that’s okay! After all, the leading candidate in the party of traditional family values should be allowed the chance to see the folks back home when she just happens to be in the same time zone.

Unfortunately, Michele was a no-show at the gathering of the Bachmann clan. And who revealed this tidbit of information? CNN? MSNBC? My Weekly Reader? No, it was no less than Michele’s own mother that called Michele out on her fib!

Way to go, ma!

Then there was the rally in South Carolina where Michele made a grand entrance to the strains of Elvis Presley’s Promised Land. Of course, she must have got caught up in the moment and giddy with excitement. That might explain why she whipped the crowd into a frenzy to wish Elvis Presley a Happy Birthday...on a day that’s nearly equidistant on the calendar from his actual birth date in January. That was a minor point, because she wished the King of Rock and Roll a happy birthday on the 34th anniversary of Presley’s...DEATH!

Does anyone vet this woman before she opens her yap? Does she have any handlers at all?

Poor Michele! The Libra in me feels sorry for her, while the liberal in me is laughing its ass off! Seriously, I do feel for Michele, as opposed to feeling Michele, but being a married man I won’t go there.

Just to show that I’m not a total liberal jerk enjoying a moment of her public embarrassment, I’ll offer to help her out. The week, for all intents and purposes, is nearly over. Michele has one more chance to make up for all the parade of gaffes this week. So I will make a suggestion that she can choose to use or not that might help repair her image.

I will just mention the fact that during the very same week in 1977 - in which we lost Elvis Presley - another great icon of American pop culture passed on. This icon was a dark, brooding genius of another generation who attacked the pomposities of society with a sharp razor-like wit. In many ways, this man set the standard for comics who came of age in the 60s and 70s.

So it is only fitting that Bachmann honor this man at an event today. She could enter the event as the tune Hooray for Captain Spaulding fills the air, a stuffed duck with a cigar sticking out of its bill under her arms. Then, donning a fake mustache, bushy eyebrows and glasses, she could shout out, “Hey everybody, let's wish Happy Birthday to Groucho Marx!”

No need to thank me for this suggestion, Michele. I’m just doing my duty as a patriotic, fair and balanced liberal blogger...NOT!

(Thank you for reading. “Hello, I must be going...”)


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