A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Monday, November 26, 2012

A Special Charlie Brown Special

While perusing the television schedule for the annual showing of It’s A Wonderful Life, I discovered another interesting phenomenon of the holiday season: the Charlie Brown special.

At one time, there were only one or two (A Charlie Brown Christmas and It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown), or so I thought. A quick check of the Internet and I learned further that there are now 45 Peanuts specials.

Obviously, I’ve missed a few over the years.

This year marks the second annual showing of Happiness Is a Warm Blanket. The plot summary is thus: the Peanuts gang tries to help Linus overcome his dependency on his security blanket. The title sums up the whole idea nicely and ties it to the iconic Peanuts phrase “Happiness Is a Warm Puppy”. I think the more succinct title, It’s an Intervention, Charlie Brown could have worked as well, but only on a more cynical level.

Yes, a nice fuzzy feel good title that will lure the Black Friday weary shoppers to their televisions, where they sit comfortably with their loved ones, munching a bowl of popcorn, and reminiscing about the days when the specials were brought to you by Dolly Madison cakes, who were swallowed up by Hostess, who are now heading for that big corporate graveyard in the sky.

Cupcake makers can fade, but Charlie Brown will be a blockhead forever.

In any case, it spurred my imagination to conjure up other titles for Peanuts specials which should be taped very soon. Herewith are my suggestions for future Peanuts specials:

Your Dog is a Bi-Polar, Delusional, Psychotic Mess Who Thinks He’s Human, Charlie Brown!

You’re Peppermint Patty’s Beard, Charlie Brown!

Lucy Is A Bitch, Charlie Brown!

Peppermint Patty and Marcie’s Adventures in Provincetown!

Schroeder is an Unemployed Liberal Arts Graduate, Charlie Brown!

Oh No! The Mean Cat Next Door Swallowed Woodstock,Charlie Brown!

It’s Peppermint Patty’s and Marcie’s Civil Union, Charlie Brown!

Don’t Let Snoopy Buy That AK-47, Charlie Brown!

(Thank you for reading! Snoopy! Good to see you! Um...root beer?)


Blogger Bob said...

I'd DVR any of those episodes!

November 26, 2012 at 6:53 PM  
Anonymous Janey said...

The title suggestions are too funny!

FYI: Years ago Venus gave me a vintage Charlie Brown Halloween action figure set. I set it up in my office, and over the years, my colleagues have given me Charlie Brown and Friends Christmas sets and accessories. As today is my birthday (53!), I may receive more.

I have the cd's of the original two specials mentioned above; they came boxed with other, newer titles. But none are or ever will be as good as the first two.

I need to go rehearse Linus' on-stage monologue about the true meaning of Christmas...

PS: Thanks for the birthday card! :-)

November 27, 2012 at 6:31 AM  

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