A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Secret Word Is: Bipartisanship

Mine eyes have seen a sign of the apocalypse, and I am not afraid, for it was beautiful!

A few weeks ago I beheld a photograph of political enemies actually clasping hands in friendship! The occasion was a coming together of ideological foes to do the job which we the people elected them to do, namely, serving we the people. It happened in New Jersey, of all places! Republican Governor Chris Christie — who only a month ago denounced President Obama as a clueless leader — actually worked shoulder-to-shoulder with Obama to bring relief to those state residents whose lives have been devastated by Hurricane (or Superstorm, take your pick) Sandy.

I am still in awe that this act of — dare I say it — bipartisanship happened in my lifetime! Hundreds of copies of this photo should be printed, framed and hung in every Congressional office in Washington. That way, those ne’er do wells who we elect to represent our best interests can look at the picture when political gridlock threatens the progress of any legislation which would actually improve our lives, and know that conflict resolution is a very real and tangible goal. Look, see the picture! It’s been done! Bipartisanship has happened! Or they could throw darts at the picture and the concept.

Perhaps the concept is the problem. Maybe we should break down the word into easy to remember syllables so that even members of Congress can readily grasp the idea of working together for a common goal. Let’s see…

Bi – rhymes with another word used in legislation writing as used in the sentence: “This bill is sponsored by the Honorable Representative from East Gybip, Lester Cowznofski.” It implies ownership, even though in our word the syllable “bi” actually implies two, as in more than one, as in more than just ourselves to think and care about. 
Par — Congresspeople, think of something here which will help you remember how our word is connected. Think of golf, okay? Think of that term which denotes the maximum number of stroke allowed for each hole, which should jog many happy memories of golf rounds with lobbyists bending your ear to betray your constituents in favor of their clients, or big money campaign donors who are just corrupting the entire system.

Ti — no, not the old Rogers and Hammerstein reference of a drink with jam and bread, but rather the first half of a slang term for a woman’s breast.  Does that make this syllable easy to remember? I thought it would!

San — um, sorry, I don’t have anything here. You’re on your own.

Ship — a boat, okay? As in a vehicle, vessel, or concept that can be steered smoothly forward for the common good.

Bi-par-ti-san-ship. Go ahead, put them together. Contemplate it, grasp it, and know that it is viable. It’s not just a word to yell at the other person when you’re frustrated that things aren’t going your way. It can be a way of life!

Anyway, back to our story about the two very mean-to-each-other political animals who have seen the light, and put aside their differences to help people in need. Some friends of these politicians understand, support and rejoice in this newfound camaraderie. While others are aghast, ashamed that one of their own would actually lower themselves to touch the other in a friendly manner.

Needless to say, Fox News was just beside itself with rage at Governor Christie. President Obama, on the other hand, got complimented for acting “presidential” and exhibiting, dare I say it, leadership! Go figure!

One Fox News commentator said that the display of the governor and president being seen close together was okay, but then he asked, “Where is FEMA?” At this point, I pressed a button on my television remote, which took me to the Morning Joe show on MSNBC, where a reporter was interviewing a FEMA employee on site somewhere in South Jersey. If I had had a direct phone line, I could have called the Fox and Friends set and told them that I found FEMA; they’re on MSNBC!

Silly Fox and Friends!

This same “news” program (notice the sarcastically placed quotation marks) implied that a subsequent telethon to raise money for victims of Hurricane Sandy could have been nothing more than a fund raiser for President Obama just four days before the election. Fox and Friends wasn’t questioning the idea of the telethon, but they were questioning the timing of the telethon. Yes, well, sometimes these things work out that way. I mean, they could have been proactive about this disaster and staged it months ago in preparation for a large scale natural disaster, but what would they have called it? Telethon for Tornado X? Benefit for Victims of a Hurricane to be Named at a Later Date? Rockers for a Blizzard Sometime Next Winter? These do not exactly entice people to open their checkbooks, not to mention grumblings of people being swindled in the name of a disaster which hasn’t  happened yet!

Unfortunately, Fox, these benefits usually play better post-cataclysm. This way, the telethon producers can shoot fresh disaster footage to play between the performances and the scenes of devastation would appeal to the viewer’s heartfelt sympathies…um, what was I talking about? Oh yes, bipartisanship!

This display of people coming together was a grand thing to witness. I only wish I could be optimistic that this could be the start of a new era in Washington, but I won’t hold my breath. Too many other interests have too much resources and money invested in ideas that would not be served if politicians were encouraged to work together more often. Too bad for them, and too good for us, the people!

(Thank you for reading. Listen up, Congress! Learn to work together or you just might be updating your resume in 2014.)


Anonymous Janey said...

HILLARY IN 2016!!!!! :-)

and I'd still take Paul Ryan anytime...

Ambassador of Love

November 18, 2012 at 8:20 AM  

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