A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Monday, February 16, 2015

Brr! Valentine’s Day

It was a very cold winter weekend, even by normal midatlantic seaboard standards. New England was having another blizzard, while we here outside of Philadelphia experienced temperatures which we normally associate with International Falls. Now we can finally relate to conditions in northern Minnesota.

Ah, but Valentine’s Day happened in the middle of this freeze snap. The plunging single digit temperatures (before wind chill), predictions of snow squalls, and near hurricane force winds just made the thought of a cozy weekend with someone special inside a no brainer.

In past years, we would leave town to celebrate Valentine’s Day as it often coincided (as it does this year) with the President’s Day holiday. We would enjoy a long weekend at Ocean City, Maryland. The boat show would also be in town that weekend, which would necessitate just enough businesses (mainly restaurants) to open up in the middle of the off season. There would be plenty of food to tempt us without the attendant crass gift shops hawking double entendre laden t-shirts, kites, suntan oil, and hermit crabs. In other words, it would be a nice, relaxing atmosphere to enjoy a mid-winter vacation.

In more recent years, our Valentine’s Day would be toned down considerably with the addition of a house mortgage to our annual budgets. There would be an exchange of sentimental cards and perhaps a gift. Otherwise, candy, flowers, and a public expression in the local newspaper would be considered a basic requirement for the day. 

The Love Notes in The Washington Post and more recently The Philadelphia Inquirer would fulfill this last part nicely, but the custom has become less popular in recent years. Twenty years ago, the newspapers would get enough ad orders to fill an entire section. This year, the Inquirer was able to fit all of the Love Notes on one interior page and, even then, below the fold. This year, we joined the exodus away from the print media and put our resources into the old-fashioned card tradition.

This year, cards were exchanged from myself and the cats, a bag of Godiva truffles with milk/dark/white chocolate varieties, a tasteful arrangement of colorful flowers (no single color rose bouquet here), and a gift certificate for a manicure, which Anne Marie did appreciate receiving. The rest of the day was spent quietly doing chores, adoring our cats, sitting cozily by our fireplace, and noshing on chocolate truffles.

Yes, this is what a middle-aged people do on the most romantic day of the year!

Warrior Queen decided to cap the day watching a movie. Okay, fine, it’s Valentine’s Day, the air outside is frozen, a fire is going in the fireplace and dinner is cooking…how else to end the weekend with a nice chick flick to cozy up to. Yes, we have The Notebook on DVD, and oh yes, Shakespeare in Love on VHS (old technology, kids; Google it). I was caught off guard, but pleasantly surprised at her choice.

Warrior Queen chose (drum roll please)…Horse Feathers!

Yes, the 1932 comedy produced by Paramount Pictures. Well, let it be known that I never say no to a lady, particularly when that lady chooses to end her romantic holiday with the Marx Brothers. It’s probably one reason why I still love her after all these years…although we are still working on her bias against ABBA.

Speaking of romance, all this talk about same sex marriage destroying the sanctity of straight marriage is too little, too late. These fire-breathing conservative idiologues (this is a pun, the spelling is correct; think about it) still defend the sacredness of this institution. HA! Look at the last scene from Horse Feathers when (spoiler alert) Thelma Todd marries all three Marx Brothers at the same time!

One man, one woman indeed! I never realized that the Marx Brothers were that far ahead of the curve…

(Thank you for reading. We now conclude today’s sermon with this word: Swordfish!)


Blogger Fearsome Beard said...

I love Swordfish!

February 18, 2015 at 11:33 AM  

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