arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, June 30, 2006

Shout-Outs and Props

Periodically, we must recognize certain people who have made headlines and made our lives more interesting either through chutzpah or stupidity. With that in mind, we give shout-outs and props to the individuals listed below. I can understand the shout-outs, but I have no idea what these people will do with the airplane parts once we give it to them.*

John Perzel – PA state representative who repeatedly tried to justify his voting for a legislative pay raise last year by comparing his salary ($72,000) to other occupations. First it was dairy farmers, then tattoo artists. Thank God he gave up before he thought of comparing his pay to Alex’s Lemonade Stand. Imagine, a child’s lemonade stand making millions, much more than your paltry $72K, and they don’t even keep the money for themselves! The proceeds go into cancer research. Go figure! Hey, here’s a suggestion: go back to Harrisburg, earn your salary and maybe, just maybe, we taxpayers will think about giving you a raise. In the meantime, buy a glass of lemonade.

Ken Livingstone, the Mayor of London, England - You deserve credit for going up against those uppity SUV drivers in your city. The report I heard stated that SUV owners in London were four times as likely to have accidents since they insist on driving around and talking on their cell phones at the same time, and their overall superior attitude towards other drivers just because they own a SUV. You go, Mr. Mayor! Raise their fees if they want to drive into your city. Thank the lord you only have a city full of these drivers to deal with; we have an entire country of those buggers over here.

Norman Mineta – congratulations on your retirement from public service and, oh yeah, good riddance! I can appreciate your rise out of the Japanese-American internment camps during World War II, and how you were the only Democrat in the Bush cabinet. (Which reminds me, how did they put up with you for so long?) However, you lost me when you insisted on privatizing Amtrak. Now there’s a subject I could go on about, but that’s another entry for another day. In the meantime, enjoy your retirement and be grateful the American people never got around to tying you to the tracks in front of The Capitol Limited! There, I directed a sarcastic comment at a Democrat! I’ll bet some of you thought I couldn’t do it. Hey, we believe in equal opportunity on this blog!

*Props was that part on older airplanes that spun around real fast enabling the plane to move forward. Okay, so it was a lame pun. I’m a middle-aged white guy who is not hip to the current lingo. Cut me a break, huh?

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