A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

G.O.P. – Not British

The GOP is hoping that the latest terrorist plot foiled by Scotland Yard, with an assist from Pakistani authorities, will boost their credibility with voters on the issues of security and the war on terror. They want the American voter to believe that the world is safer with a Republican administration in the White House, a Republican-dominated Congress, a Republican-leaning Supreme Court, and a small green lizard that can save you hundreds of dollars each year on car insurance. It appears that they want to take credit for stopping the terrorists this time.

Well, gather around kiddies (especially the 50% of you that still believe in WMDs) and I’ll tell you that this is all bunk! First, let’s look at who cracked this case - Scotland Yard. This legendary law enforcement organization is based in London, England and has at no time in its history (past, present, and future) been associated with the United States. Shocking, but true! They are the ones that deserve props (with an assist from Pakistani authorities) for bringing these terrorists to justice! Scotland Yard, not the GOP!

Then there is British Prime Minister Tony Blair, who was vacationing out of the country when the plot hit the fan. No matter, the operative word in that last sentence was British. Tony Blair has never been employed by the Bush administration, and I doubt that he is a card-carrying member of the GOP. Shocking, but true!

Our Homeland Security department did not announce the latest airport security measures until 8:00 AM the day the story broke. I doubt they were awake all night thinking up these things. Why? Because we copped our security measures almost word for word from (yes, you guessed it) the British! The British authorities had their airport security measures in place long before America’s first Starbucks opened for the day’s business. Why? Because the British get up at 1:00 in the morning! My, the British put in long days!

So, be wary of the GOP, fellow Americans! They do not speak the truth, and, most importantly, they are not British! Sorry about the lizard; I don’t know how he got in here.


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