A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Friday, February 12, 2010

Sarah Palin Watch: Part One - Todd Saves the World!*

Sarah Palin has certainly been busy lately! Her book tour is over as her memoir falls down the bestseller list, but fear not, she is still seeking to maintain her relevance in conservative America. Most recently she spoke at the Tea Party convention in Nashville, an event enjoyed by both her fans and liberal critics.

The event, the stories which came out of it, and other Palin related reports have given everyone a lot to talk about lately. Her speech was well received by the Tea Baggers as she fired up their efforts while humorously mocking the President of the United States. Her line, “How’s that hopey, changey thing going?” got a laugh and applause from the audience. Those of us in the liberal blogosphere have been noting it as an example of how far the intelligence of political discourse has fallen.

Then there were some embarrassing reports about Sarah. She had a question and answer session at the convention, during which she was seen staring at her hands for long moments of time. It has since been discovered that she had key words and phrases written on her palms to help her answer questions from the audience. Imagine, a politician openly consulting crib notes, and this was after she lambasted Obama for using a teleprompter for his speeches. Shocking!

Around the weekend of the convention, the evil liberal media published reports about her husband Todd's involvement in her administration when she served as the governor of Alaska. Apparently, Todd was more than just a stay-at-home spouse. The reports found e-mails between husband and governor which detailed how she consulted him about certain policies and how he lobbied (in one case) to punish a newspaper which was critical of her work.

Actually, as a man also named Todd, I see a silver lining in these reports. It would be wonderful if these e-mails turn out to be authentic. Imagine, a man named Todd was actually called upon to decide policy over a functioning governing entity. This is a milestone with global implications for every man named Todd!

This doesn’t happen everyday! Go ahead, search through the history books and see how many world leaders named Todd you can find. Don’t think too hard about this, because there aren’t any; I already looked!

This story will probably fade away, but if the Democrats are smart they’ll remember and use this information in 2012. If Palin decides to run for President, the Democrats could revive the “3am phone call” ads used against Obama to point up his alleged inexperience in handling international crises.

The scene is the White House, after midnight. The phone rings, and President Palin wakes to answer the call. She is told that Israel has attacked Iran, and Iran has retaliated with a nuclear strike against Israel and everyone else. She is asked for a decision as Commander-in-Chief. Should we mobilize our forces? If so, how many and where? The ad would end with Palin waking up her husband and saying, “Todd, honey, it’s for you!”

So much for that hopey, changey thing!

*This may or may not be the first in a series of entries following the exploits of Sarah Palin, because gosh darn, she’s our favorite, I mean...celebrity nut job.

(Thank you for reading! Please remember, Todds are everywhere!)


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