Snort Bites – April 2013

IMPROVISATIONAL COMIC JONATHAN WINTERS DIES

This is one comedian I’ve followed since the mid-60s. I remember him more for his variety show from that time period, and his syndicated show, The Wacky World of Jonathan Winters, than from his later work on Mork and Mindy. He would be joined by Charley Weaver on a regular basis in his variety show.  In Wacky World he would be let loose in a room full of props arranged like someone’s attic, pick up a relic from the past and just build an entire routine around it. In another segment, he was interviewed portraying the character Fagan from Oliver Twist. The question was asked, “Whatever happened to the Artful Dodger?” His answer, with a wide grin: “We traded him to the Phillies!”

His humor spilled over into his hobby: abstract painting. My favorite: The New Member, which depicts a Klan meeting with a black cross, a parade of white hoods, followed by a black hood. It’s a testament to his status as an iconic comic that Norman Rockwell included him in an illustration for a magazine story (Saturday's People Magazine). It’s not hard to pick out Winters’ face from a crowded sidewalk; he’s even easier to spot as Rockwell depicts the comic dressed as a nun!

Rest in Peace, Mr. Winters.

FRANCE APPROVES SAME-SEX MARRIAGE

What an unexpected and pleasantly progressive surprise! It caught me off guard because I’ve always thought of France as being…you know, so butch!

I know, cheap shot! Sorry, couldn’t resist!

SENATE MINORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL CALLS ON PRESIDENT OBAMA TO END THE AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL FURLOUGHS, WHICH ARE A CONSQUENCE OF THE SEQUESTER

Isn’t Mitch McConnell wonderful? He proves once again why Will Rogers believed that the best comedy writers in the country are serving in Congress!

Soooo, let’s get this straight, once and for all. Congress proposes the idea of sequester as a way to force themselves to negotiate a balance budget. It is reasoned that the cuts built into the sequester are so severe that any reasonable lawmaker would surely make any sort of deal to avoid the cuts from becoming reality. Well, we all know what happened: Congress outsmarted (or if you prefer out-fooled) themselves and failed to reach a deal with the Obama administration, and the sequester went into effect.

McConnell’s remarks make it sound like he was taken by surprise that the air traffic controller furloughs would adversely affect so many Americans. Perhaps if he had taken his head out of the sand long enough, he would have heard the dire warnings about airport delays, which the Obama administration issued in the month before the sequester took effect. The whole episode proves that the honorable gentleman from Kentucky has more balls than brains!

On the other hand, McConnell’s actions can’t match the massive delusions harbored by American President #43….

GEORGE W. BUSH STATES THAT HE HAS NO REGRETS ABOUT HIS LEGACY

In the days leading up to the opening of the George W. Bush Library, the media focused its attention on the 43rd President and dared to ask him how he felt about his legacy. 

 

(Editor’s Note: Arteejee hereby lifts and rescinds its self-imposed five year moratorium on poking satirical jabs at George W. Bush.)

The problem is that President Bush took the question seriously, actually answered the question as if anyone cared what he thought, and thereby stuck his cowboy boots into his mouth.

Soooo, let’s get this straight, once and for all. He has no regrets about giving tax breaks to the wealthy while doing virtually nothing to cut spending; started two wars with no way to pay for them; and oversaw the worst recession in our country’s history? No regrets, huh?

To paraphrase Paul Simon, “Still delusional after all these years!”

(Thank you for reading. In memory of Maude Frickert and Chester Honey Hugger.)