arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Sunday, October 09, 2016

Things Are Breaking Down




Well, I should have expected this what with political apocalypse staring us in the face.  Things, physical and ideological, are breaking down all around us.   Many of us are appalled that our cherished American political structure is headed for oblivion.   The same many of us are hoping that the election in a few weeks will restore some order in the world and — not to put too fine a point on it — our faith in the American way.


On a more personal note, Warrior Queen and I are putting our hopes in a refrigerator repairman to restore cold food to our lives.


This story began about a month ago when our combination refrigerator/freezer began making some unusual sounds for days on end.  There would be knocking,  banging, and loud sounds of air blowing, not to mention it went zip when it moved, bop when it stopped, and whirr when it stood still.*  


We hoped that the noises were not a warning that something was very wrong.   We had heard the noises before, had a certified technician examine our appliance and he pronounced that there was nothing wrong.  That was sometime within the last year.   This time it was different.


Then one day the noises stopped just as suddenly as they began.  (Are you on the edge of your seat yet?  If you are, then for God’s sake, sit back!)  We hoped (again) that whatever was making the strange noises had somehow — with the blessings of the Frigidaire gods — righted themselves.  Tis not to be.


While the offensive sounds subsided the appliance itself stopped pumping cold air into the refrigerator cabinet. 


I first noticed the less than cold air last week when I pulled out a bottle of water.  In past times the contents would be cold if the bottle was at the front of the shelf, or frozen solid altogether if it had been pushed to the back of the shelf.  Last week the bottle did not feel cold nor cool.   I felt packages of meat and cheese in the meat drawer; yes, nothing was cold.  


We hoped that this was just temporary, kept an eye on the situation, and that the Frigidaire gods would smile upon us and make our faithful cooler chilling again.   At the end of the week the food was still warm, and frankly spoiling.  My worst suspicions were realized when I opened the milk one morning to pour on my cereal and the liquid did not so much flow as glommed onto my grains in a thick paste.  Within minutes milk and the remaining tablespoon of sour cream were poured down the kitchen drain.


Apologies to any readers who may be munching on their morning rations while reading this. 


So with an oath to the kitchen appliance deities (“Damn p***y Frigidaire gods!”), I asked Warrior Queen to summon a repairman.   She called on Friday and, as luck would have it, the repairman could come until Tuesday because it is a holiday weekend.  Damn p***y federal holidays!


I don’t know, something about some explorer landing in the new world years ago with the intention of expanding trade and commerce, but in reality beginning a long process of slavery and cultural subjugation.  In recent years this Columbus Day celebration has morphed into a recognition of everything Italian-American.  Being a big fan of Italian cuisine, I am okay with the ethnic influence overtaking a day honoring someone who many historians believe committed genocide.  Okay, I’ll kiss you for being Italian; just distance yourself from Chris Columbus.


Umm, where was I…oh, yes.   So now we have relocated any definite perishables (dairy products and eggs) to the freezer.  I don’t know what the freezing molecules will do to the nutritional value once we thaw them again, but we’ll find out soon enough.  Oh and how is the freezer you may ask?   It’s working fine, and I am grateful that half of the appliance is well, although I can’t overcome the feeling that its continued operation is just rubbing salt in the wound.


In a few days we will find out if our refrigerator can be repaired or if it needs to be replaced.  In the meantime the remaining items — condiments and a few salad vegetables — are on their own.  I hope to use the remaining vegetables up tomorrow before they decay too much further.   


Speaking of decay, the political process continues anon tonight with a rematch between Hillary Clinton and the Republican thing.


Damn p***y Republican thing!


*With apologies to Peter, Paul and Mary.   


(Thank you for reading.  “I never knew just what it was and I guess I never will.” –The Marvelous Toy.)

4 Comments:

Blogger Fearsome Beard said...

I send positive vibrations that cooler air shall begin its flow into your compartment of refrigeration.

October 10, 2016 at 9:05 AM  
Blogger Bob Slatten said...

Republicans and refrigerators ... both ice cold and refuse to work when you need them.

October 10, 2016 at 9:20 AM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you Fearsome Beard for the well wishes. Update: the motor died and the tech replaced it. We are now cold again. This is the second motor we've replaced since we got it in 2008. Hmmm...I'll have second thoughts on buying this brand again!

Ooh, good one, Bob! I wrote the damn thing and even I didn't see that analogy.

October 12, 2016 at 6:51 AM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

the fridge is bewitched

October 14, 2016 at 12:06 AM  

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