So Not Chinese Proverbs
Recently, a member of the President’s family attempted a moment
of philosophical introspection by offering some bromide about not attacking people
who are trying to do great things in the world. Ivanka (last name withheld due
to self-imposed blog restrictions) issued what she quoted as an old Chinese proverb
about the same time that her old man (Der Orange Fuhrer) met with North Korea’s
Great Dictator. The timing of her quote
with the Singapore summit made the under lying meaning obvious: stop picking on
my Daddy.
The Twitter and blogosphere went nuts! Many people pointed out to Princess Vapid
that her quote was not a Chinese proverb at all, but rather a badly paraphrased
Western Culture version of an ancient profound statement. Others determined that her quote wouldn’t
even make it as a Chinese fortune cookie fortune.
Poor dear…she had it coming!
In this spirit, we offer examples of other great quotes that never
have and never will be mistakenly recognized as Chinese proverbs:
“You can
lead a whore to culture, but you can’t make her think!” - Dorothy
Lotus Flower Parker
“People are
most likely to listen to reason when in bed.” - Groucho
Ko-Ko Marx
“Do you find
me amusing?” - Joe
Chen Pesci
“…speakin' of the city, ‘It ain't no place for
women gals, but pretty men go thar." - W.C.
Mahatma Fields
“I want you/I
need you/But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you/Now don't be sad/'Cause two out of three ain't bad” - Kung
Pao Meatloaf
“I’m not a
crook.” - Richard
Mao Nixon
“Life is a
banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!” - Rosalind
Madame Russell
“Nobody’s
right if everybody’s wrong.” - Stephen
Stills
And finally,
last but not least:
F**k the
Emperor!” - Robert
Wang Chung DeNiro
So there!
(Thank you
for reading. And now my contribution:
People who always look down may never see the sun shine.)
posted by todd gunther | 10:23 AM
6 Comments:
It's great when an uncultured person masquerades as something s/he is manifestly not and it gets shown up, as happened here. As for the original 'proverb' which she quotes - just because somebody says something it doesn't necessarily mean that it must be true. The correct response would be "Well, it all depends....."
That was really funny! These were all said by people trying to be smart asses, Ivanka Banka is one, and she's not too smart.
These are all so funny, but Kung Pao Meatloaf made me rush to the bathroom before I wet myself! Not the quote, mind you, but the name.
Ivanka really is a feckless C U Next Tuesday!
oh the pain
Thank you Raybeard. We seem to be having an epidemic of people acting above their station.
Thank you, Dave R. Ivanka Banka? I haven't heard that one yet.
Thank you, Deedles. I'm glad you enjoyed them.
Hi Bob. I saw what you did there. Very clever!
Thank you, Spo. May I suggest you take two Chinese proverbs for the pain and call me in the morning.
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