arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, February 05, 2019

Suggestions for Unity


There are rumors that the President’s State of the Union will attempt to unify the nation.


I am shocked, shocked that I got through that last sentence with a straight face. 

I don’t know why I’m bothering, but, as a public service, I though I would make humble suggestions to the President on how he can unify the nation.  I know he won’t listen, but this might be worth a giggle:

1.  Give up Twitter for the duration of your term of office.  All of those tweets make you look petty and insecure.

2.  Grow up!  You’re what, 70+ now?  Don’t you think its time you displayed some maturity?

3.  Get some help, and by that, I mean therapy for your obvious psychoses.  May I suggest a good therapist in the American southwest?

4.  Stop denigrating congressional leaders.

5.  Stop denigrating minorities and all of those who don’t think like you.  This includes the media and your intelligence services.

6.  Stop watching Fox and Friends.  They’ll only get you into more trouble, and besides, their ratings suck.

7.  Give up the idea of a wall on the southern border.  It is the most un-American idea proposed in the history of the republic.

8.  Let Barron play football.  He’s a kid!  Let him enjoy his youth while he can.

9.  Finally, stop denigrating everyone in the world who is not you.

I know, I know.  None of this will happen, but it was worth a shot!

(Thank you for reading.  What odds is Las Vegas offering that Nancy Pelosi won’t whack the President with her speaker’s gavel?)

3 Comments:

Blogger Debra She Who Seeks said...

Sound advice, if only "someone" would take it!

February 5, 2019 at 10:31 PM  
Blogger Raybeard said...

I've just finished watching it 'live', for the first time ever - starting at 2 a.m. our time. (I'd only turned on the TV for the news, you understand). Just going down your list I can't say that I can check of a single one of your suggestions that hew complied with, though I did note that the U.S.A. is now doing THE BEST at everything under the sun. However, keep your list for next year - you never know. Or WILL there be a next year? - for him AND for everyone else!

February 5, 2019 at 10:43 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you, Debra. I for one will not be holding my breath.

Thank you, Raybeard, for watching the latest episode of our national tragedy. We may milk this show for a few more years before it closes.

February 7, 2019 at 7:12 PM  

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