Sunday Morning Post (V.3, #18) - My 2021 Vacation (Day One)

Our days of venturing out for a time away from home for something commonly referred to as a “vacation” is on hiatus at the moment.  I hope we will be able to travel again someday, but for now I use my allotted vacation time for medical appointments and procedures.  I can only carry over 40 hours or roughly a week of business days each year.  So, this is a good way to use time for appointments which I would normally need to make up within the same two week pay period.

With this in mind, I will recount my first full vacation day taken for this year.  Yes, welcome to my colonoscopy!  Between the charges I will ultimately pay for a surgeon, anesthesiologist and the facility will roughly be the same amount I would have paid in train tickets, lodging, meals, gratuities, and attractions, I figure I will come out even.  Also, we don’t have to find a sitter for our cats when I use a vacation day for a medical procedure.  So, it’s all good from my point of view.

Now at this point we might start our story with a few photos of the facility where I had the procedure done and perhaps an illustration of me with the facility registration personnel.  Fortunately for you dear reader, we neglected to take any Facebook friendly selfies for those interested in our story and posterity.  Besides, who wants to be friendly to Facebook these days?

My report time was 6:30, way too early for my driver’s (WQ) liking, but hey what can you do? She also did not have her usual morning coffee.  I offered to brew a cup for her, but she still refused.  And yet, the world survived again.

My pre-surgery consults with the surgeon and anesthesiologist happened without any issues or photos taken. I was hooked up to an IV (no, not Roman numeral 4, just an intravenous needle) and I was wheeled in at 8:35.   In the operating suite I was prepared for my colonoscopy (my fourth or fifth I think) and an endoscopy in my esophagus (my first).  Some sort of device was put into my mouth which would enable the scope to be inserted without fear of me biting down on the tube.  No, never mind that I would be asleep by the time they would insert the scope.

At this point the anesthesia was administered through my IV and I drifted off to La-La Land.  I was not in any condition to take any vacation photos at this point, but the surgeon was kind enough to take photos as the procedure progressed through my colon.  And so, with the assistance of my Jackie Vernon Memorial Slide Show clicker...

(CLICK) Here is a shot of a polyp on my ascending colon.

(EDITOR’S NOTE:  PHOTOGRAPH DELETED IN THE NAME OF COMMON SENSE AND GOOD TASTE.)

(CLICK) And here is a shot of something the surgeon called the appendiceal orifice.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: PHOTOGRAPH DELETED ON THE ADVICE OF RUDY GIULIANI’S COUNSEL, ALL THREE OF THEM.)

(CLICK) And here is a shot of what the surgeon told me is a Barrett’s esophagus.  I don’t know how Barrett got into my body, but he’s more than welcome to come take it back.)

(EDITOR'S NOTE:  PHOTOGRAPH DELETED BECAUSE DAMN IT, WE CAN DELETE IT.  SO, SUE US!)

It was about an hour later that that I was back in my pre-op room being offered crackers and ginger ale by a nurse.  The surgeon came back a little later to explain that he had found and removed 4 polyps.  Biopsy results pending.  He also said that they would follow up with me about my esophagus since that warrants more frequent surveillance.  Overall, I was relieved that I did not have nothing more serious than polyps, but I won’t know for sure until the surgeon calls me this coming week with the biopsy results.

Warrior Queen was able to pick me up at 9:00, a quick trip through the drive through lane at Burger King for my first solid food in 36 hours, and finally home where I slept off my anesthesia and WQ made up for her interrupted beauty sleep. 

And that, dear readers, was the first day of my 2021 vacation!  Stay tuned for the ongoing saga of my time off in the COVID Era.

(Thank you for reading.  Hey Barrett!  Wherever you are, call me.  We need to talk!)