Sunday Morning or Whatever Post, Vol. 3, #26 - A New Month
It is the start of a new month of my new life*and I am still getting used to doing more things on my own. Such as laundry. I am finding that I can get by doing a load once every other week. This is a combination of not having the necessity to get fully dressed for work**, and not having a second person living here soiling their half of the laundry.
Truth be told Warrior Queen did not wear much at home when she was alive. She probably would have felt at home in a nudist situation armed with nothing more than a pair of needles and social media.
Maybe we should keep that last factoid to ourselves. Shhh! Just between you, me and whoever else in the blogosphere who happens to read this...oh, wait. Doh!
On a related note and mostly for the same reasons I am generating less trash and recycling. Our trash removal service picks up one or the other, or both, each Thursday (or Friday when they don’t get to my street on time). We would only put out full bins, so there have been a few weeks which have gone by when nothing is put at the curb. This week the recycling bin is getting filled up and this may be the week it goes out.
Another chore I am getting used to doing monthly: paying the bills. We always split the expenses, and now I am finding out how just how much it costs to keep the house running. Short answer: a lot. Easily more than my paycheck brings in, and Warrior Queen was able to meet her half with Social Security. Now I have to pay my share and hers. It has been a mind-numbing wake up call for me to deal with all at once.
Other than these items which readily came to the top of my head, I can't think of any other "major" changes to my day-to-day living habits. I am sure I will find others as the weeks go on. Throughout all of this is the growing appreciation for "the other." The other life and the other person in that life that made living at the very least tolerable to live.
At this point my hands are thrust in front of me, feeling my way through the darkness of my emotions. I'm sure I'll find another light someday, but for now I am acquiring, at the ripe young age of 61, a new set of skills which for all I know, is preparing me for a more independent style of living.
So far I have learned this: independence is not all that it is cracked up to be.
*Personal note to Spo: Rabbit,rabbit.
**Personal note to any defrocked priests/cardinals working at the Vatican today: I am writing this entry in my underwear and slippers. Let your imaginations go wild!
(Thank you for reading and for being here.)
posted by todd gunther | 10:48 AM
10 Comments:
It's a big adjustment alright. Hang in there!
I know what you mean. When I and the ex split up, I got the wake up call of running the whole Casa du Borghese, and paying all the bills, housework, and laundry. Thank goodness for houseboys! But Anne Marie was on to something...in the nude makes some thing a lot easier...and save on the water bill.
I like to think of it like this: it doesn't really get better, but it does get easier.
And I will spend the rest of the day, and perhaps the week, smiling because I got to read this:
"She probably would have felt at home in a nudist situation armed with nothing more than a pair of needles and social media."
That's AM!
I usually put my garbage out ever 2 - 3 weeks.
And, unlike you, I wear lots of clothes, all the time, so I'm doing 5 or 6 loads of laundry a week.
As for the bills? I've been single my entire life...
Rabbit rabbit to you too dearie !
When my partner passed away in Jan, there was so many things I needed to learn. So many things I'm still learning.
Anne Marie was there with kind words and letting me continually know that she was thinking about me. Even though I never met her in person, she was a shining beam of light.
It's a difficult time, and my only advice is lean on your friends both those in your world and those in the blogosphere. It truly helps.
You're doing very well. That is good to know. Change is always hard, and when it is brought about by a great loss, it becomes all the more difficult to navigate. You seem to be on top of things - so pat yourself on the back and give yourself a big hug. You deserve both. Carry on!
It takes time to find our way, stay the course, you will. I heard the CEO of a large organization on a Zoom all staff meeting recently. He commented on the relaxed dress code of working from home, even he has not had a tie on for over a year (he is a retired General to this was a major undressing for him.) He did comment, that we needed to think about what we were wearing before we stood up in the middle of a Zoom video call. Be mindful, you don't want the vatican lining up on the street out front.
Thank you, Debra for your encouraging words.
Hi Mistress. Yes, Anne Marie was always on to something even when she didn't realize it.
I am happy to hear that I've made your week, Bob.
It;'s good to hear from you, Dave R. As of now I have not decided to keep going alone or trying to find someone to share my life. I know sharing was more satisfying for me.
Thank you, Spo. Yay! I got it right!.
I know Anne Marie helped out many people. Thank you, JM, for sharing and I hope life is getting more settled for you.
Thank you Upton. I will carry on!
Hi Travel. I can just imagine AM on a Zoom call. I would have to money set aside to post her bail!
One day at a time, one task at a time. She was a larger than life personality; I imagine it will be a long time before her presence in your life fades in the least. I hope you will continue to share your experience here with us...we care and we are here for you. Sending hugs.
Sassybear
www.idleeyesandadormy.com
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