Sunday Morning Post (V.3, #19) – Why Own A Liberal?

These are surreal, I dare say, insane times in which we are living.  On one side of the aisle, we definitely have Progressives trying desperately to move our country forward.  On the other side of the aisle, there are those who decry that the Progressives are not reaching out to them to solve the nation’s problems.  They say this out of one side of the mouth, while from the other side emerges vows to resist everything Progressives want to accomplish.

Ordinarily it would be too easy to walk away, but these people are our fellow citizens.  We have to live with them.  We have no choice.

It appears that the other side wants pretty much the same things Progressives want, but then they vow to “own a lib”.  I don’t know why they want to do such a thing.  Correctly used, it is taking a political or public action designed to outrage Progressives and raise our blood pressures.  If we take the term literally, as in actually purchasing a liberal for purposes of sole ownership, then we need to have a talk.

For one thing it is illegal to actually own another human being in the United States.  I’m quite sure that was the intention of the 14th Amendment, even though the original impetus was to elevate once and for all previously enslaved human beings to full citizenship status.  That amendment was ratified in 1868, and this society is still trying to achieve that goal. 

What can we say?  We are slow learners when it comes to treating each other with respect and dignity. 

So, why would conservatives want to own a lib?  Considering that ownership would be a bad investment and a waste of time.  For one thing, where would you keep us?  We won’t stand for being chained up in the backyard with Fido, nor will you be able to keep us in a rabbit’s hutch.  Needless to say, we definitely will not go along with the old Nazi German procedure of shipping us out of your sight.

Oh, and whatever will you feed us?  You probably have all liberals stereotyped as “hippie vegans”.  This is patently not true.  Many of us subsist on a meat and potato diet and, surprise, surprise, many of us possess blue collar sensibilities.

I know, this revelation is shocking, but true.  So you can forget about feeding us tofu from the get go.

Regardless of where you house us and how you feed us, it is a given that you will tire of us very quickly.  For one thing, we liberals tend to whine a lot.  We can be heard saying things like, “How can we help the poor?”; “How can we save our wildlife and the environment?”; “How can we help the immigrants coming to us for sanctuary?”  Asking questions like this constantly gets us pegged as “bleeding hearts”.

Many liberals pride themselves on being bleeding hearts. So you can stop taunting us with this label.  We know what we are and we know what we want to do to improve everyone’s life.

Own a lib?  Come on, can’t you think of better things to do with your political ideology?

(Thank you for reading!  Happy Mother’s Day!)