A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Classic TV Lines

Today we have a sampling of lines from some of our all-time favorite classic television shows. These lines were never uttered (to my knowledge); however, we could have heard them if the writers had the sensibilities which we possess today. For example...

Timmy from Lassie: "Mom, why is everybody always making fun of me falling down a well? It’s not that funny!"

Bud from Father Knows Best: "Hey, Dad! Want some of this killer weed I just bought down on the corner?"

Marcia from The Brady Bunch: "Mom, can you take me to the doctor? I need him to write me a prescription for The Pill!"

Eddie from The Munsters: (crying) "Mom! The Museum of Natural History just mounted Spot in their Paleozoic Era exhibit!"

Greg from The Brady Bunch: "Wow, Mom! You’re hot!"

Theo Huxtable from The Cosby Show: "Hey, Dad! There’s a Maury Povich at the front door. By the way, what’s a paternity test?"

Peter from The Brady Bunch: "Mom, why is Dad listening to show tunes?"

Lisa from Green Acres: "Arnold! Stop humping the Easter ham!"

And finally...Ralph Kramden on The Honeymooners: "Alice, I’ve just been served with a protection order! What’s all this crap about verbal abuse?"


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