arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Thursday, May 21, 2009

2009 Vacation To Do List

Next week I take some time off to travel to my backyard. Hey, it’s all I can afford this year.

1. Cut down trees, bushes, and otherwise brush which had the gall to die on me during the last few years.

2. Finish pitcher of hurricanes in fridge.

3. Box up surplus references* to Rush Limbaugh and store in attic for thirty days as a favor to MSNBC. (I don’t know what this is all about, but the guy at MSNBC mumbled something about trying to win a ratings bet with the old windbag.)

4. Finish bottle of Galiano in the kitchen.

5. Store more Rush Limbaugh references in large green trash bags in the garage.

6. Finish bottle of generic whiskey in the kitchen.

7. Write two blog entries, after I move more Rush Limbaugh references into a storage unit.

8. Finish whatever booze is left in the other bottle behind the visky and gali- gali- the yellow stuff. Aw, the hell with it! I got a few bottles of beer aging in the back of my fridge...

9. Set aside time to rest and recover from hangover brought on by fulfilling tasks #2, #4, #6, and #8.

10. The hell with it! Set all Rush Limbaugh references free into the field behind my house, where they can roam among the deer and the fox and the groundhogs, foraging on whatever they can find.

That’s it, little Limbaughs, you’re free, free I say! Go out and run to your heart's content. Run wild, run across the road, run into the road, play in traffic...oh, please play in traffic! After all, this is a free country! You know, with free speech? Believe it or not, Rush, there are some Americans who don’t see your point of view at all. Oh, and many of us don’t work at MSNBC!

*Herewith defined, but not limited to, the following: any sentence, question, declaration, or snide comment (particularly when uttered by Keith Olbermann) with the words “Rush Limbaugh” in it. Also may include actual video or audio bits featuring a performance by the noted windbag.

2 Comments:

Anonymous anne in danville said...

testing from mom

May 23, 2009 at 4:45 PM  
Anonymous anne in danville said...

another test

May 24, 2009 at 10:28 AM  

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