A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Sunday, June 17, 2018

So Not Chinese Proverbs

Recently, a member of the President’s family attempted a moment of philosophical introspection by offering some bromide about not attacking people who are trying to do great things in the world.  Ivanka (last name withheld due to self-imposed blog restrictions) issued what she quoted as an old Chinese proverb about the same time that her old man (Der Orange Fuhrer) met with North Korea’s Great Dictator.  The timing of her quote with the Singapore summit made the under lying meaning obvious: stop picking on my Daddy.

The Twitter and blogosphere went nuts!  Many people pointed out to Princess Vapid that her quote was not a Chinese proverb at all, but rather a badly paraphrased Western Culture version of an ancient profound statement.  Others determined that her quote wouldn’t even make it as a Chinese fortune cookie fortune. 

Poor dear…she had it coming!

In this spirit, we offer examples of other great quotes that never have and never will be mistakenly recognized as Chinese proverbs:

“You can lead a whore to culture, but you can’t make her think!” - Dorothy Lotus Flower Parker

“People are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.” - Groucho Ko-Ko Marx

“Do you find me amusing?” - Joe Chen Pesci

 “…speakin' of the city, ‘It ain't no place for women gals, but pretty men go thar." - W.C. Mahatma Fields

“I want you/I need you/But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you/Now don't be sad/'Cause two out of three ain't bad” - Kung Pao Meatloaf

“I’m not a crook.” - Richard Mao Nixon
“Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!” - Rosalind Madame Russell

“Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong.” - Stephen Stills

And finally, last but not least:

F**k the Emperor!” - Robert Wang Chung DeNiro

So there!

(Thank you for reading.  And now my contribution: People who always look down may never see the sun shine.)


Blogger Raybeard said...

It's great when an uncultured person masquerades as something s/he is manifestly not and it gets shown up, as happened here. As for the original 'proverb' which she quotes - just because somebody says something it doesn't necessarily mean that it must be true. The correct response would be "Well, it all depends....."

June 17, 2018 at 12:00 PM  
Blogger Dave R said...

That was really funny! These were all said by people trying to be smart asses, Ivanka Banka is one, and she's not too smart.

June 17, 2018 at 12:22 PM  
Blogger Deedles said...

These are all so funny, but Kung Pao Meatloaf made me rush to the bathroom before I wet myself! Not the quote, mind you, but the name.

June 17, 2018 at 5:10 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

Ivanka really is a feckless C U Next Tuesday!

June 18, 2018 at 6:54 PM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

oh the pain

June 19, 2018 at 11:23 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you Raybeard. We seem to be having an epidemic of people acting above their station.

Thank you, Dave R. Ivanka Banka? I haven't heard that one yet.

Thank you, Deedles. I'm glad you enjoyed them.

Hi Bob. I saw what you did there. Very clever!

Thank you, Spo. May I suggest you take two Chinese proverbs for the pain and call me in the morning.

June 20, 2018 at 6:29 AM  

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