arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Sunday, May 02, 2021

Sunday Morning Post (V.3, #18) - My 2021 Vacation (Day One)

Our days of venturing out for a time away from home for something commonly referred to as a “vacation” is on hiatus at the moment.  I hope we will be able to travel again someday, but for now I use my allotted vacation time for medical appointments and procedures.  I can only carry over 40 hours or roughly a week of business days each year.  So, this is a good way to use time for appointments which I would normally need to make up within the same two week pay period.

With this in mind, I will recount my first full vacation day taken for this year.  Yes, welcome to my colonoscopy!  Between the charges I will ultimately pay for a surgeon, anesthesiologist and the facility will roughly be the same amount I would have paid in train tickets, lodging, meals, gratuities, and attractions, I figure I will come out even.  Also, we don’t have to find a sitter for our cats when I use a vacation day for a medical procedure.  So, it’s all good from my point of view.

Now at this point we might start our story with a few photos of the facility where I had the procedure done and perhaps an illustration of me with the facility registration personnel.  Fortunately for you dear reader, we neglected to take any Facebook friendly selfies for those interested in our story and posterity.  Besides, who wants to be friendly to Facebook these days?

My report time was 6:30, way too early for my driver’s (WQ) liking, but hey what can you do? She also did not have her usual morning coffee.  I offered to brew a cup for her, but she still refused.  And yet, the world survived again.

My pre-surgery consults with the surgeon and anesthesiologist happened without any issues or photos taken. I was hooked up to an IV (no, not Roman numeral 4, just an intravenous needle) and I was wheeled in at 8:35.   In the operating suite I was prepared for my colonoscopy (my fourth or fifth I think) and an endoscopy in my esophagus (my first).  Some sort of device was put into my mouth which would enable the scope to be inserted without fear of me biting down on the tube.  No, never mind that I would be asleep by the time they would insert the scope.

At this point the anesthesia was administered through my IV and I drifted off to La-La Land.  I was not in any condition to take any vacation photos at this point, but the surgeon was kind enough to take photos as the procedure progressed through my colon.  And so, with the assistance of my Jackie Vernon Memorial Slide Show clicker...

(CLICK) Here is a shot of a polyp on my ascending colon.

(EDITOR’S NOTE:  PHOTOGRAPH DELETED IN THE NAME OF COMMON SENSE AND GOOD TASTE.)

(CLICK) And here is a shot of something the surgeon called the appendiceal orifice.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: PHOTOGRAPH DELETED ON THE ADVICE OF RUDY GIULIANI’S COUNSEL, ALL THREE OF THEM.)

(CLICK) And here is a shot of what the surgeon told me is a Barrett’s esophagus.  I don’t know how Barrett got into my body, but he’s more than welcome to come take it back.)

(EDITOR'S NOTE:  PHOTOGRAPH DELETED BECAUSE DAMN IT, WE CAN DELETE IT.  SO, SUE US!)

It was about an hour later that that I was back in my pre-op room being offered crackers and ginger ale by a nurse.  The surgeon came back a little later to explain that he had found and removed 4 polyps.  Biopsy results pending.  He also said that they would follow up with me about my esophagus since that warrants more frequent surveillance.  Overall, I was relieved that I did not have nothing more serious than polyps, but I won’t know for sure until the surgeon calls me this coming week with the biopsy results.

Warrior Queen was able to pick me up at 9:00, a quick trip through the drive through lane at Burger King for my first solid food in 36 hours, and finally home where I slept off my anesthesia and WQ made up for her interrupted beauty sleep. 

And that, dear readers, was the first day of my 2021 vacation!  Stay tuned for the ongoing saga of my time off in the COVID Era.

(Thank you for reading.  Hey Barrett!  Wherever you are, call me.  We need to talk!)

 

7 Comments:

Blogger Debra She Who Seeks said...

Had a really good laugh at your "Photos Deleted" part of the post! And they give you crackers and ginger ale afterwards? Sheesh, I get nuttin, NUTTIN, from my Canadian medical system. Except for the free colonoscopy, of course, so I guess I shouldn't complain too much.

I hope all the biopsies come back benign. The only Barrett I know is from the song "Barrett's Privateers."

May 2, 2021 at 1:10 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

Did they at least do the procedure on a beach somewhere so you could feel like it was a vacation?

And, yes, thanks for deleting the photos!

May 2, 2021 at 2:25 PM  
Blogger uptonking said...

Oh. What a nightmare. I am due, as well. My first one did not go well because I have an extremely twisty insidey and the lady got upset at how difficult it was. I was told they had only made it halfway through, but that was not true. Because the first one had nothing, I have decided to put off another until sometime when common sense says such a thing might be of importance. I am rather done with doctoring these days. As for vacay. Sigh. I had three weeks to burn at the beginning of the year that had to be gone by April and I currently have another month sitting unused. I used the first three pretending not to work, which, of course, is a lie. I kept checking in with emails though I refrained from attending meetings. Covid vacays are... well... not much different than Covid regular days WFH. I do plan, now that the summer is to be her shortly, to taking days here and there when it is sunny and going to my beloved prairie to commune with... ummm... 'nature'. :) Glad things went well for you. Hope all the result come back negative. I see more Burger King in your future. (They have Beyond Beef Burgers now!)

May 2, 2021 at 4:01 PM  
Blogger Travel said...

A new idea of fun.

May 2, 2021 at 5:29 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you, Debra. No ginger ale post op? Not even Canada Dry? (Sorry I couldn't resist.) So, let's reform our healthcare systems for free colonoscopes AND ginger ale afterwards.

Hi, Bob. No, the procedure was done in a very sterile environment with not even a beach scene glues to the ceiling.
I thought it best to delete the graphic vacation photos. After all if you've seen on ascending colon you've seen them all.

Thank you Upton. You should probably start the process for another procedure. So what if the medical personnel get upset! You would be there for your health, not theirs.

Hi Travel. The fun part is a work in progress.

May 4, 2021 at 7:37 AM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

good for you though for doing yours!

May 4, 2021 at 4:35 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you, Spo. I'm done with it for a few years.

May 6, 2021 at 9:06 PM  

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