arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Tuesday, December 04, 2012

The Big (Limbaugh) O



Today’s blog is brought to you by the letter O, as in capital or upper case O. Align this letter with the word “big” and you have the decades old slang term for the climax a female experiences when she is sexually stimulated. I am also aware that this expression is also the name of an animated television series imported from Japan. The popularity of the series may be derived from the fact that its title is a double entendre for a decades old slang term for the climax a female blah, blah, blah.

The O in the case of this definition stands for orgasm, and why is that word on our cultural radar today? Well, we have good old Rush Limbaugh to thank for that, who recently told his listeners that the Democrats will experience an orgasm if America goes over the fiscal cliff, and everyone’s taxes will go up. According to the Rushbaugh, high taxes are a Democrat’s nirvana.

Oh Rush, you great jerk, don’t you know that if taxes go up on January 1, then they will go up on the Democrats too. Yes, Rush, even Democrats will be paying higher taxes! Shocking, but true!

It’s not that Democrats look forward to paying higher taxes, but we are pragmatic on the role taxes play in our lives. The taxes fund the government which serves all of us. The revenue which is raised by taxes is used for many services which we the people may not always see or appreciate, but at some point in our lives we the American citizens may need to avail ourselves of these services. For example, if we as citizens are lucky enough to reach retirement age, then we will get to use the funds which have built up from the deductions the government takes from our paychecks for 30-40 years. You and your conservative brethren have heard of Social Security, right, Rush? Of course you have, because that is one of the programs your kind wants to dismantle.

Let’s indulge the Rushter for a moment. Let’s pretend that he is correct that Democrats will experience an orgasm when taxes go up. What would this mean? Well, for one thing, instead of shouting words like “Yes, yes, yes” (as demonstrated by Meg Ryan in a classic scene from When Harry Met Sally), I presume that Democrats are supposed to yell, “High taxes! High taxes! Yes!” when they achieve sexual ecstasy. Okay, so let’s play this along a little further and speculate what members of other political/socio-economic groups (and a few individuals) may exclaim in Rush’s concept of sexual release:

REPUBLICANS/CONSERVATIVES:

“No taxes! No taxes! Yesssss! OH, GROVER!”

LIBERALS:

"High deficits! High deficits! Yesss! YAY 47%!"

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS:

“Citizenship! Citizenship! Yesss! GREEN CARD!”

TEA PARTIERS:

“Small government! Small government! Yesss! GET OFF MY BACK, OBAMA!”

KARL ROVE:

“Uncounted votes! Uncounted votes! Yesss! OHIO!”

PAUL RYAN:

“No entitlements! No entitlements! Yesss! VOUCHERS!”*

HILLARY CLINTON:

"2016! 2016! Yessss! MADAME PRESIDENT!"

SARAH PALIN:

"You naughty blogger! You naughty blogger! Yesss! ARTEEJEE!"

(Oh c'mon! It’s my blog and I’m entitled to my own fantasy, aren’t I?)

AND OF COURSE, ONE FROM OUR GUEST OF HONOR, RUSH LIMBAUGH:

“Ditto! Ditto! Yessss! DITTO!”

*Janey, please feel free to confirm or deny this one.

(Thank you for reading. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em!)

1 Comments:

Anonymous Janey said...

I've got 'em and I smoke 'em...! :-)

When Paul Ryan achieves orgasm the first time, he begs me for more. At his second and third orgasms, he yells, "Janey, you ARE God!" By the time I have driven him to his fourth or fifth orgasm, he does not have the breath for any utterance...

At that point I usually smoke one...

Janey the Sex God

December 5, 2012 at 6:18 AM  

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