arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Sunday, July 22, 2018

The Ugly American Goes to Europe: A Disastrous Hope


We learned, or should have learned in our 20th Century history class, that one nation in particular made not one, but two bids for world domination.

The first time this European nation sided with a group of monarchies around 1914.  American history students are given vague details about the conflict.   All we really hear is someone shot someone else, a ship was sunk, and all hell broke loose.   At some point America was dragged kicking and screaming into what we now know as World War I.   After a few years and tremendous number of casualties, the losers were vanquished and humiliated.    They lived with their embarrassment and licked their wounds for about 13 years.

Then the stock market crashed, and the economic catastrophe rippled throughout the world.   This gave the radical elements in Europe the opportunity to seize power, build up a war machine and take another crack at world domination.  We now know this as World War II, when once again the powers of tolerance triumphed over evil.   The same European nation which lost World War I also lost this second round and, surprisingly, hasn’t made any more attempts at global control.

The lesson which many students of 20th Century world history learned from this was simple:  DON’T PISS OFF THE GERMANS!

Obviously, our current President did not learn this in any history class.  I say any history class, because I dare say that Nazi Germany’s crimes against humanity were so heinous that it was probably covered in Pre-Columbian Mayan Culture classes.

Naturally the President met with the NATO allies knowing he had big shoes to fill.  Namely, he obviously felt that he needed to act the part of the crude, rude boorish American.

The President needn’t have worried; he did not disappoint any of us.

As a horrible guest, he started by criticizing Germany for having a pipeline deal with Russia and accused the Germans of being dependent on Russia.  Obviously, this drove the President insanely jealous!  How dare another nation grow so dependent on Russia?  Okay, so we’re now leaning on Russia to give us their brand of democracy.  Still, it was an example of the pot calling the kettle black.

And imagine, this was just the first leg of a three-part disaster, I mean trip.  No, I take that back.  I did mean disaster.

After his dissing our trusted allies the President proceeded to a meeting with the Queen, and then to his annual job performance review with his boss Darth Putin.

Details to come….

(Thank you for reading.  Watch for the exciting sequels, “The Empire Doesn’t Care” and “Return of the FBI”!)

4 Comments:

Blogger Dave R said...

About that "pipeline deal with Russia," the Idiot Jerk is jealous as hell because he got left out of it.

July 22, 2018 at 9:46 AM  
Blogger Bob said...

For him to call anyone Putin's bitch is ludicrous when he's on hiss in front of that dick-tator all the time.

July 22, 2018 at 10:13 AM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

Perhaps it is a turning point - finally.

July 22, 2018 at 10:00 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Petty jealousy? Our President? Oh, hell, why not? Thank you, Dave R.

I saw what you did there, Bob! Very good!

Fingers are crossed, Spo!

July 23, 2018 at 7:50 PM  

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