End of the Month Clearance: Snort Bites, September 2018 or “Oh, did I say that!”

BASEBALL SEASON ENDS FOR MY TEAM: PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES

Overall, the Phillies did not have a bad season, although they would have had a much better end-of-season record if the season had ended at the end of August.  Sadly, this did not happen, and instead of being above .500 they now have a losing season thanks to the last few weeks which made longtime fans nostalgic for the 1964 season.

Spoiler alert:  Phillies fans, even the ones who enjoy excruciating pain, will never, ever feel nostalgic for the 1964 season.   It’s a long story with a depressing ending…sort of like the 2016 Presidential Election.  You will have to trust us on this.

Still there is still some sense of mercy in the season ending now.  Yes, we won’t have a post season, but we can console ourselves in the fact that we are not the Baltimore Orioles.   The Baltimore franchise ends the season with just 46 wins, 113 loses and 60 games out of first place.*

Ouch!  Or as Bill Clinton was wont to say, “I feel your pain!”

*As of Saturday, 9/29.

PRIVILEGED WHITE MALES HAVE A ROUGH WEEK: ONE OF THEIR OWN IS NOT CONFIRMED FOR A SUPREME COURT SEAT

Yes, just when one of their own thinks he’s aced the job interview before the Senate Judiciary Committee for the vacant spot on the Supreme Court bench, a mysterious woman from his past comes forward with a compelling account of how he attempted to rape her many years ago.  The woman’s account was heart wrenching to listen to; many came away convinced that she could not make this story up.

What can I say, other than it was a tough week to be a privileged white male.  Although, to be fair, privileged white males have a lot to answer for.  Stay tuned: the saga and the backlash ain’t over yet.

Or as Bill Clinton might have said, “Oh, that felt good, Monica!”

(Did I just say that?)

PRESIDENT EMBARKS ON ANOTHER ROUND OF “AIN’T I GREAT” RALLIES WITH HIS BASE SUPPORTERS

Just great!  We’ll be treated to another round of “crooked Hillary” cracks!  If the President dislikes Hillary so much then why doesn’t he just exile her to some country where she will feel comfortable…someplace like Bitchland….

Oh, I didn’t just say THAT, did I?

(EDITOR’S NOTE: OBVIOUSLY ARTEEJEE HAS OVERDOSED ON HIS DAILY RATION OF CRANKINESS.  WE’RE CUTTING THIS OFF RIGHT HERE…)

(Thank you for reading anyway.)