arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Sunday, September 09, 2018

Clue ® White House Edition


For American liberals, Christmas came early this year.  This past week, legendary Washington Post journalist Bob Woodward published his tell all about the President’s administration, entitled Fear.  The next day, The New York Times posted an anonymous op-ed claiming to be written by a high-ranking official in the White House.  

The op-ed explained that there are a number of people in the West Wing doing their best to keep the President’s impulsive executive actions in check.  This should be the job of others in our government (yes, we’re looking at you, US Congress), but no matter.  We can now take comfort in the fact that, as the op-ed stated, “there are adults in the room” making sure the President's actions do not endanger the republic.

What can we say, but, “Thank you, Santa!”

The book and op-ed were followed shortly by reports that those inside the Beltway were trying to guess the identity of the op-ed author as if it were a parlor game.  Really?  A parlor game?  This bit of information gives me another chance to be grateful that these folks inside the Beltway have nothing better to do than, oh say, RUN A COUNTRY?

No matter.  We’ll play along with this line of thinking and suggest that they revive the old Clue board game.  Many of us may remember that the object of the game is to solve a murder mystery at a British country estate.  Players are one of several British aristocracy stereotypes (Mrs. White, Colonel Mustard, Miss Scarlett, Mr. Green, etc.) as they try to determine which one of them murdered the estate’s owner, Mr. Boddy.  They also have to deduce the location of the crime (living room, dining room, kitchen, ballroom, conservatory, etc.) as well as the weapon used: knife, revolver, rope, wrench, candlestick, etc.

For the White House edition, players can solve who killed the current presidential administration.  The suspects could include:

Robert Mueller (or any other Department of Justice functionary)

Bob Woodward (or any other member of the media)

Rudy Giuliani (or any other lawyer identified as representing the President)

Kellyanne Conway (or any other spokesperson for the President)

John Kelly (or any other member of the President’s staff and potential resistance member)

Or Mr./Ms./Mrs. X: namely any other player yet to be named as a co-conspirator, legal official, spokesperson for the administration or media pundit.

Since the “victim” is not a person per se, then we won’t need the traditional, tangible forms of murder weapon to do the deed.   For example, Bob Woodward could kill the administration in the West Wing with The Washington Post.  

Robert Mueller could do the deed in the (law) library with a subpoena.   Or any member of Congress ends this presidency with an Article of Impeachment in the House.  (This last one is considered a long shot at this time.)

Or, what the hell, the President himself could commit political suicide in the bedroom with Twitter.  He is really such a loose cannon on social media that it is only a matter of time before he trips up on social media and implicates himself in some treasonous act.  Oh, wait, he has already done that a few times and everyone just shrugged their shoulders.  Never mind…

Of course, the ideal scenario for ending this current administration would be done by the American Electorate in the voting booth with their vote.

Once again this is considered a long shot at this time…

In any event, Americans have created this mess and we now have no choice but to see this game through to the bitter end.   It doesn’t matter which scenario plays out. We can assume that it won’t be pretty.

(Thank you for reading.  Is it November 6th yet?)

6 Comments:

Blogger Dave R said...

I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out to be Colonel Mustard Sessions, in the Oval Office, with a pouting, little "fuck you."

September 9, 2018 at 6:03 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

September 9, 2018 at 7:37 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

Sorry ... needed to fix it:

It was Michael Elisabeth Pence in the closet with a size eleven pump.

September 9, 2018 at 7:38 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Hi Dave. Thank you for your guess.

Thank you, Bob. He certainly has a good motive/

September 9, 2018 at 11:47 PM  
Blogger krayolakris said...

Methinks ‘tis Kelly and he’s trying to frame Pence.

September 10, 2018 at 4:37 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Hi Krayolakris. This is an interesting idea. Pence as a fall guy. I like it!

September 12, 2018 at 8:48 AM  

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