A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Sunday, May 09, 2021

Sunday Morning Post (V.3, #19) – Why Own A Liberal?

These are surreal, I dare say, insane times in which we are living.  On one side of the aisle, we definitely have Progressives trying desperately to move our country forward.  On the other side of the aisle, there are those who decry that the Progressives are not reaching out to them to solve the nation’s problems.  They say this out of one side of the mouth, while from the other side emerges vows to resist everything Progressives want to accomplish.

Ordinarily it would be too easy to walk away, but these people are our fellow citizens.  We have to live with them.  We have no choice.

It appears that the other side wants pretty much the same things Progressives want, but then they vow to “own a lib”.  I don’t know why they want to do such a thing.  Correctly used, it is taking a political or public action designed to outrage Progressives and raise our blood pressures.  If we take the term literally, as in actually purchasing a liberal for purposes of sole ownership, then we need to have a talk.

For one thing it is illegal to actually own another human being in the United States.  I’m quite sure that was the intention of the 14th Amendment, even though the original impetus was to elevate once and for all previously enslaved human beings to full citizenship status.  That amendment was ratified in 1868, and this society is still trying to achieve that goal. 

What can we say?  We are slow learners when it comes to treating each other with respect and dignity. 

So, why would conservatives want to own a lib?  Considering that ownership would be a bad investment and a waste of time.  For one thing, where would you keep us?  We won’t stand for being chained up in the backyard with Fido, nor will you be able to keep us in a rabbit’s hutch.  Needless to say, we definitely will not go along with the old Nazi German procedure of shipping us out of your sight.

Oh, and whatever will you feed us?  You probably have all liberals stereotyped as “hippie vegans”.  This is patently not true.  Many of us subsist on a meat and potato diet and, surprise, surprise, many of us possess blue collar sensibilities.

I know, this revelation is shocking, but true.  So you can forget about feeding us tofu from the get go.

Regardless of where you house us and how you feed us, it is a given that you will tire of us very quickly.  For one thing, we liberals tend to whine a lot.  We can be heard saying things like, “How can we help the poor?”; “How can we save our wildlife and the environment?”; “How can we help the immigrants coming to us for sanctuary?”  Asking questions like this constantly gets us pegged as “bleeding hearts”.

Many liberals pride themselves on being bleeding hearts. So you can stop taunting us with this label.  We know what we are and we know what we want to do to improve everyone’s life.

Own a lib?  Come on, can’t you think of better things to do with your political ideology?

(Thank you for reading!  Happy Mother’s Day!)


Blogger uptonking said...

It's silly. Just a silly power game... one people of privilege play in order to feel they have the upper hand. It's utter nonsense. We needn't feel superior to one another... we should all simply strive to do the right thing. What if doing the right thing became the way? Do the right thing? And I will let you feel as smug as you like. But act without empathy or without a conscious? Act like you are entitled? Sorry... thanks for the thoughts, Arteejee

May 9, 2021 at 12:45 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

Howsabout rather than trying to own a lib, you folks there on the so-called right, lend a hand, come up with an idea, seek a compromise, stop the Big Lie, denounce racism, leave your white hoods at home, get off the trans girl's backs, clean up your party by removing the sex traffickers and the QAnon peddlers, and then denounce the last guy for what he was: an inept asshat who tried to overthrow the government because he rightfully lost an election.
Do that, hell, do half that, and we can talk..

May 9, 2021 at 1:56 PM  
Blogger Raybeard said...

Currently, it's just way beyond my comprehension how any 'respectable' Republican supporter [assuming there are more than a few such] can sit back and allow the flagrant and widespread vote-eligibility-tamperings to continue without protest, and nevertheless to carry on giving Repubs their support. It's a practice that would surely shame any 'third world' country, and deservedly so. But happening now in what is self-proclaimed to be the most advanced 'civilised' country on Earth is unconscionable. I just DO NOT GET IT - and I dare say a lot of Americans don't either.

Incidentally, I've always wondered why in America 'Red' and 'Blue' states are defined by those colours as Republican and Democrat respectively when, in the U.K. - and, as far as I know, in the rest of the world too - those particular colours have the reverse connotation. Certainly, worldwide 'red' is associated as left as centre, even more usually FAR-left. I'm sure the reason why it's different on your country goes back to some historical event. I still have to keep checking myself when on YouTube postings 'red' and 'blue' states are referred to.

May 10, 2021 at 4:23 AM  
Blogger Debra She Who Seeks said...

I think they mean the concept of "pwning" but aren't cool or hip enough to use the right term.

May 10, 2021 at 9:36 AM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you Upton. Yes, it is silly, which made it ripe for my satirical purposes.

Bob, you make it sound so easy, but they won't do this because THEY think THEY are right.

You're right Raybeard, a lot of Americans do not get it. The people in the party are so afraid of losing their next election that they find it easier to ally with someone they know is unsuitable for a leadership position,
I don't know if the "red" and "blue" designations go back any further than the television news networks using them to differentiate between states leaning Republican or Democrat on election night coverage. A Wikipedia article traces it back to NBC news and the 1976 Presidential election, although generally television journalist Tim Russert is given credit for coining the terms for the purposes of explaining the election returns to the masses.

Hi Debra. I know the correct concept is still a mystery to me, which is why I went an extremely literal example.

May 10, 2021 at 7:48 PM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

the vegan hippies have the best clothes anyway.

May 10, 2021 at 10:07 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

And don't forget their beaded necklaces, Spo.

May 11, 2021 at 8:19 PM  

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