A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

My Photo
Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Post Rapture

Please take a moment to contemplate the above title. It should be considered an oxymoron. After all, if everything had happened as prophesized, then I shouldn’t be able to be typing this right now. I should have fallen into a vast, fiery pit which would have consumed my body and soul. There shouldn’t be a post anything, in fact! No one to write the blog, no one to read the blog, no one to make the power to run the computer on which the blog is published, and so on and so on...

Fortunately, nothing of the sort happened. No cleaving of the planet, no fires, no floods, no big bang explosions which sent chunks of Earth to the nether regions of the solar system. So this week, the Monday morning quarterbacking — another event which would not have been able to happen if events on Saturday night had gone according to plan — has begun.

Again, fortunately, no one is questioning God why He changed his mind at the last minute. We might be pushing our luck if we did that. Instead, everyone is piling on the messenger, a lowly, humble, aging radio evangelist by the name of Harold Camping. Camping was the one who got everyone riled up. He calculated the end of days using the Holy Scripture. Then he publicized the event through his syndicated radio show. And, oh yes, he asked for donations from his audience. Many answered the call to the tune of — by MSNBC commentator Lawrence O’Donnell’s estimate - $70 million!

He used a good part of the donations to further publicize the end on radio and billboard ads all over the country. His predictions got even more publicity — this all free — from well-meaning news commentators, morning radio disc jockeys, late night talk show comedians, and just about everyone else. Naturally, most of this free publicity was ridiculing the good preacher.

So, what happened? Hell if Camping knows, no pun intended. He’s been described by his daughter as being “bewildered” by the end that didn’t happen.

Maybe his calculations were off. Perhaps he put a decimal point in the wrong place. Not for nothing, but as any mathematician will tell you, this could make a big difference. And by difference I’m thinking of 10,000 years more or less.

The problem is this is the second time Camping’s predictions have proven incorrect. Apparently he also said the Rapture would occur in 1993. We all remember 1993, don’t we? America was full of excitement for the man from Hope AK, economic times were improving as we rose from a recession, and a political villain by the name of Gingrich lurked in the shadows of the Capital. Now, America is giving higher than usual marks to our current President from Hawaii (an actual state in the United States), economic times are slowly improving as we rise from a recession, and a clown by the name of Gingrich lurks in the shadows of our collective political consciousness. The old adage is proven true again: The more things change, the more they stay the same, or something like that.

The disappointment of the Rapture also proves another old adage: “There’s a sucker born every minute.” Legendary American showman P.T. Barnum lived and breathed this philosophy. Currently, Camping is living proof of this! He does, after all, now have $70 million dollars to help console himself from the world-wide ridicule of his wrong prophesy.

Camping might as well face the truth. He is nothing more than an old-fashioned huckster who plied his brand of snake oil called “Rapture” to millions of gullible people who are normally intelligent, God-fearing Christians. If this is the case that he was sincere about his teachings, than Camping should take heart that sometimes things don’t go your way, even when God is involved. If, on the other hand, he only did all this for the money, then he should be ashamed of himself. Unfortunately, he won’t be the last one to take millions for outlandish promises. Remember, the 2012 Presidential election is only 18 months away!

(Thank you for reading. Enjoy life everyone! Camping could make a third prediction any day now...)


Post a Comment

<< Home