Our New President: The First Week*

Oh boy!  Our new President has finished his first week in power!  Let’s see what he has accomplished so far!

Well, he spent most of the week scribbling his John Hancock on a bunch of proclamations which made good on many of his campaign promises to alter, dismantle and/or otherwise scuttle previous cherished American values.  He signed an awful lot of executive orders which he made sure to do in front of reporters with cameras and television feeds, and of course his posse of supporters who would be obliged/paid to applaud his every breath.

These orders started the ball rolling to repealing the Affordable Care Act (AKA in their twisted minds as Obamacare); start building the wall between the law-abiding US and the rapists and murderers (his words) in Mexico; and generally make life miserable for anyone who believes in Islam.   At least that’s what HE thought he was doing.

In actuality he did fulfill one campaign promise:  he pissed off a lot of people.

Many of the pissed off persons took to the streets of America for the second straight weekend in a month.  Keep in mind that the new president has only been in power for two straight weekends, but no fair drawing the conclusion that the two events are a direct cause and effect of the other.  No, rather as they say in the universe of alternative facts, the two events are a mere coincidence.

Many people, some of whom have been walking the streets of America in the last few weeks, have undoubtedly noticed that these executive orders did not have to go through the legislative branch of the federal government for their blessing.  This is very curious.  When the last president signed executive orders, the legislative branch howled their objections that he was over reaching his authority.  Now with their adorable, bouncing baby new president, they call his orders a return of balance.   Okay, let’s agree to label our new president someone akin to a dictator and label Congress as a group of hypocrites.

Hey, it works for me!

So, America, shall we take the new president’s executive orders and display them proudly on the doors of our refrigerators as if they were created by our oh-so-bright offspring at school?  Or should we take them to the streets and burn them to warm the fires of a growing resistance to his decidedly un-American ideas.   

Hmmm, what to do?

Either we get larger refrigerators to display all of the new president’s doodles, or we warm our hands over the protest fires.  Either way, it won’t be enough to halt the regression now afflicting our cherished values.

Well, I can hardly wait for the second week.   NOT!

*Cue Shakespearean thunderclap sound effect and John Williams flourish of heart stopping string crescendo.

(Thank you for reading.  Ushers will now pass the collection plate for the cause of your choice.)

Alternative Facts Explained!

We are feeling very silly here in America.

We have recently installed a leadership which ignores truth and hard data.  To wit: last weekend marked the official beginning of the new regime.  The celebratory peaceful transition of power (AKA inauguration) was rather lackluster.  The new president’s opening speech did not instill a sense of unity with purpose as many hoped it would. 

Many people boycotted the proceedings to protest the new president’s governing style, among other things.  In fact, the inauguration was sparsely populated with Americans in Washington DC, a fact which was supported by photographic evidence.   Reportedly the new President was infuriated with the pronouncement that his inauguration was anything less than the record breaking event he bragged that it would be.  He and his administration pounced on the media, stating that it was not reporting the truth.

They even invented a new term for their particular/peculiar brand of honesty.  Ladies and gentlemen, please allow us to introduce you to “alternative facts.”

We have been scratching our collective heads ever since trying to decide the difference between facts and alternative facts.  Obviously the latter is a construction of beliefs which totally contradicts hard, in-your-face, incontestable evidence of truth that is plainly comprehended by most everyone else.

To further illustrate our current dilemma, please observe Messers Cleese and Palin in the following video.

Yes, we are feeling very silly indeed here in America.

(Thank you for reading…and watching.  Wake up, Polly!)

01/21/17

So now the President-Elect is now the President.  Sad!

And now a nostalgic trip to the 1960’s and a call to action!   Bang those tambourines, everyone!

01/20/17

I swear to God that if the President-elect applauds himself at his own inauguration I will HURL!

01/19/17

Okay, GOP.  This prank is over.  Who did we really elect as President?   Kasich?  Christie?  Alexander Haig?  Mrs. Miller?

01/18/17

Re: yesterday's tweet about dangers of Twitter messages.  Experts also fear that it will lead people to develop short attention spans and, oh, I’ve lost you already, haven’t I?