arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, May 28, 2010

The Probation Interview, or Look at What They’ve Done to My History Lesson, Ma!

Hey, Texas! Good to see you! Come on in! This will just take a moment.

Sooo, how’s everything down by the Rio Grande? Having any problems with illegal aliens? That’s too bad, but hey, we’re working on that issue. Listen, we didn’t call you in here just for a friendly little chat. No, we want to tell you that we’re a little...oh...let’s say...concerned about how you want to teach American history.

Now, whoa, whoa! Just calm down and let us finish! Yes, of course you have a right as a sovereign member of the United States to teach the children of your state, as you like to put it, any damn way you please. That’s...that’s fine, but still we – the other sovereign states of the United States — feel it is our right to let you know that we are concerned about the direction you want to take teaching our country’s history.

You realize that any decision your state board of education makes affects the studies in the rest of the country. Your school system is so big that many textbook publishers find it easier to follow your lead rather than change lessons or wording in their books for the rest of the country. Simply put, if they don’t print the ideas of which you approve, then they don’t sell their books. Frankly, not all of us agree with that, but that’s their decision.

I realize that there are many of us outside of Texas who are...well...you know...liberal...hey, don’t smirk at me! We have rights too! Anyway, my point is that we realize your most recent decisions about teaching history was made by a group that were heavily slanted towards the conservative political philosophy. Here, for example, you want to play up Ronald Reagan’s presidency. Okay, granted he did accomplish a lot, but let’s face it...he wasn’t bigger than Jesus Christ.

Whoa, whoa! Now just put your shooting iron down and let me finish! No reason to go all Sarah Palin on me! Okay, I see you have some deep emotions for Reagan, so we’ll come back to that later.

Well, what about the United Nations! This organization is dedicated to promoting world peace so that we won’t necessarily have to fight any other countries on our own...oh, you don’t see it that way. You believe the United Nations is just a meddlesome governing body that wants to take over our country. Hmm...interesting. Well, let’s look at Joseph McCarthy. You want to treat him as some sort of patriot. What’s wrong? Well, I tell you what’s wrong with it. Portraying Joseph McCarthy as a conservative demagogue has been a cherished liberal philosophy for nearly fifty years! He exploited people’s paranoia about a certain political theory and, in doing so, destroyed the livelihoods and lives of many people. He undermined due process in his fanatical zeal to wipe out what he liked to call the red scourge! And his scare tactics showed a total lack of faith in the flexibility in the US Constitution. Surely you realize that the Constitution has the ability to withstand the challenges from dictatorial political ideas like Communism, even as it allows it to exist within its own borders. That’s called freedom of speech, and showing tolerance for other people’s beliefs!

May I remind you, Texas, that this weekend we are honoring the sacrifices made by millions of American men and women to uphold this principle of tolerance! Do you really want to negate their efforts just to further your agenda? Is that being fair to their memory?

What will you come up with next, Texas? Will you teach your children that the President wasn’t born in this country? What...oh, you’re saving that for the second edition. I don’t believe this! I suppose next you’ll be telling me that Hitler was just misunderstood...what? No, I’m not listening to this about a third edition! Na-na-na-na-na...I’m not listening...na-na-na!

Look, Texas, I have to be frank with you. We both know that you’ve contributed a lot to the United States, but many people in the other states don’t regard you very highly. Many people see you as arrogant, too eager to pick a fight, always presenting yourself with a chip on your shoulder, and...what, oh? That’s not a chip, that’s Oklahoma! Oh, ha ha, that’s a good one, Texas!

Anyway, my point is that some of your fellow Americans may see our country’s future relationship with you as doubtful. Some seem to think that this relationship is not working out, and perhaps it’s time we went in a different direction. It’s my duty to inform you that we have to put you on probation for an undetermined amount of time. I advise you to go home and think about how your extremist conservative views could ultimately harm our country. We’re not asking you to abandon your viewpoints, just think about moderating them, okay? After all, your ideas could come around and backfire on you when you least expect it.

Okay, Texas, thanks for coming in. Could you do me a favor? Send Arizona in on your way out. Thanks!

Hey, Arizona! Come in, have a seat! This will just take a moment. Listen, we’re a little concerned about your new immigration policy, and frankly, we just got to ask you something...what the hell have you been smoking?

(Thank you for reading. Please remember history has more than one point of view!)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Send Jim Thorpe Home!

One story that percolated up from under my radar a few months ago concerned the on-going efforts to return the body of sports great Jim Thorpe (1888-1953) to his desired resting place. His last wish was to be buried in the land of his ancestors in Oklahoma. However, his cash poor widow offered his remains (for a price) to any town who would rename their town after her late spouse. A town in northeastern Pennsylvania, Mauch Chunk, answered her request, anticipating to cash in on his legacy and prop up the finances of the depressed town.

There were other motives — a hoped for medical center, and perhaps the Football Hall of Fame would land in the newly christened Jim Thorpe — but neither came to pass. Since 1954, the earthly remains of Jim Thorpe (the athlete) have rested in a red granite mausoleum in Jim Thorpe (the town). Enter Thorpe’s sons, now old men, who have been negotiating with the town for decades to have their father’s remains disinterred and transferred to Oklahoma. The town fathers have balked at the seemingly dignified request, and now the case is headed for a courtroom in Scranton.

Most history students should be acquainted with Thorpe’s life story, but in case you’re not familiar here is a quick recap. Thorpe was born on an Indian reservation in Oklahoma, and attended the Carlisle (PA) Indian Industrial School where many Native American children were sent to socialize them out of their ancient culture and into the white American culture. Thorpe became a standout football player while attending Carlisle, but his greatest fame occurred when he won the two gold medals in the decathlon and pentathlon at the 1912 Summer Olympics in Stockholm. He was quickly recognized as one of the greatest athletes of the time, and received a hero’s welcome (complete with a Broadway ticker tape parade) upon his return to the United States.

His fall from fame happened almost as quickly. The following year, he was found to have accepted money to play baseball prior to the Olympic Games, a violation of the Olympics policy of allowing only amateur athletes into competition. He was stripped of his medals and the shame haunted him for the rest of his life.

Thereafter, Thorpe played baseball, football and basketball (both professional and amateur) before moving into a career in the entertainment field. The Internet Movie Data Base (www.imdb.com) lists over 60 screen credits for Thorpe between 1931 and 1950. Considering the high unemployment for actors even in good times, and that this was during the Great Depression, Thorpe’s steady work in films could have been regarded as respectable. Unfortunately, the roles offered to him were either uncredited extra parts as football players in the background, or as the stereotypical Indian in many Westerns. One example was his role as the Medicine Man in a lesser Wheeler and Woolsey vehicle from 1936, Silly Billies. Regardless, Thorpe’s life after the Olympic controversy was a series of wasted opportunities, exacerbated by chronic alcoholism.

Now the town of Jim Thorpe wants to hold onto his remains because he is so much a part of the town. Never mind that he never set foot in Mauch Chunk when he was alive. The town may have had noble intentions when they first enticed Thorpe’s widow to bury him there, but now over 50 years later, those intentions seem to be very selfish. It’s not like they need him there anymore to attract the tourist trade.

The town of Jim Thorpe has a wonderful variety of 19th century architecture styles, recreational opportunities like white water rafting, and a scenic railway to rake in the hospitality dollars. Why they need the remains of the greatest athlete America ever produced is beyond many people’s comprehension.

The law is not on the town’s side. One federal regulation stipulates that any agency or institution which receives federal funding must return Native American cultural items and remains to their peoples, and the borough — which gets money for education, housing and community development - may be in violation of that statute. Popular sentiment is also against them. How many times have we heard that a dearly departed’s last wish is not carried out? Right, it very rarely happens!

Perhaps a compromise has been suggested before, and perhaps a compromise may be the only viable solution for the court to decide. The town should do the right thing and release Jim Thorpe’s remains to his children. In return, the family should recognize that having a town named after their father will be a lasting tribute to his legacy.

(Thank you for reading. Please remember Jim Thorpe’s contribution to our nation’s history, and, for that matter, our nation’s treatment of his people.)

Friday, May 21, 2010

Pennsylvania Primary Postmortem

Another primary season has ended, and what have the voters wrought? Whether or not the person you voted for won, there is always some morsel of truth to behold in a very profound philosophical light. Perhaps we’ll look for a lesson in the way events unfolded. Or perhaps the results will affirm some long held cherished beliefs that each of us has. Then, after we consider all of these ideas, we may find we can agree on one thing: that this has been the most pretentious introduction to my blog in quite awhile.

If you haven’t guessed by now, my candidate lost.

The biggest upset expected by almost no one except the pollsters was Arlen Specter’s defeat at the hands of Joe Sestak. After six terms in the US Senate, Specter was told by the voters of Pennsylvania that his services were no longer needed. It’s time for Arlen to pack it in and enjoy what time he has left.

Forget the idea that after six terms he probably felt he deserved to have the seat for life. Sorry, this isn’t the Supreme Court — although, now that I think about it, there is a seat open there. Hey, he does have a law degree...hmmm. All he has to do is sabotage Kagan’s nomination, which should be no problem considering what he did to Robert Bork. Then he can wage a hard fought campaign for the court seat himself. Just a thought...

I know it was very disappointing to lose the seat after such a brutal campaign in which the opponent cast aspersions on his character, but that’s politics! Consider this: Specter wasn’t the only one to lose on Tuesday. Look at Phillies pitcher Roy Halliday. He pitched the entire game and still lost because his teammates couldn’t muster up enough strength to score two more runs. Do you think the rest of his week has been any easier? Hell, no!

I know I tossed the pros and cons around last week about for whom to vote. I finally decided in favor of Specter, mainly because he had a record of doing something which very few politicians are willing to do today: work with the other side to keep this country moving forward. I overlooked the fact that he’s a really old guy who couldn’t make up his mind on which side of the aisle he wanted to sit, but hey, I’m indecisive too. What’s the big deal?

In the end, the voters decided it was a big deal. Now it’s time to move on and let some fresh blood take over. Now our experienced Senator is a lame duck and Joe Sestak advances to the fall election against the Republican Pat Toomey. Watch for a very ugly campaign in the fall.

Speaking of ugly, the Republican nomination for the next governor of Pennsylvania was awarded to state attorney general Tom Corbett. He’s already made a name for himself by joining the multi-state class action lawsuit against Obama’s health care regulations. They argue the mandated health care rule is unconstitutional and should be overturned, never mind that it could be the only chance many people will ever have of gaining quality health care.

In the days since his primary win, he’s come out swinging against the tweeters who are saying mean things about him. He wants names, addresses, Internet addresses of these offenders. Is that a preview of what he’ll be like as governor? Will he turn the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania into a police state?

My message to Corbett: grow up! You’re playing with the big boys now. Just ask Arlen Specter how nasty these contests can get. If you think those twitters were nasty, just wait until this fall!

(Thank you for reading. Thank you for voting...hope your man/woman won!)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Fighting Sickna

The following story is an example of what goes around comes around, or possibly a case of the chickens coming home to roost. Either way, I try not to use this space to vent about my personal problems, but I hope you’ll allow me to do that today, dear readers. If you allow me to do this, then I’ll reveal why it will be worth your while, but you’ll have to wait until the end for that payoff.

I should first start with this note of irony: I have worked in the health insurance industry for over twenty years, and for the first time in my career I am having trouble getting my own claims paid. My health care carrier is one of the big companies. I don’t want to embarrass it by citing the name here, although I feel I have earned the right to do that. I will, however, state that the company name rhymes with the word Sickna.

My previous experience with Sickna has been very satisfactory. For example, when I was hospitalized twice in 2008 for my heart surgery, the facility bills alone amounted to over $180,000. After a steep discount negotiated by Sickna, the hospital accepted a payment of less than $50,000. My responsibility was a co-pay amount of $300. This amount was a large chunk to pay out all at once, but, when I considered what other policies may have paid, I was grateful for paying only $300. During the course of my career, I have seen other policies that would pay only 90%, which in this case could have added up to $18,000! I could only have paid that by taking out a home equity loan, but seriously, how many financial institutions are giving those out these days?

Anyway, that was then and this is now. Yesterday Sickna’s service was exemplary. This year, it sucks!

Supposedly, the issue began when my company’s payment for the premium was late. I haven’t confirmed this with anyone in human resources yet, but it does sound like a very plausible explanation for what has happened. Unbeknown to us, the late payment resulted in the cancellation of our policy. Nothing unusual here, it’s standard business procedure, no tickee, no shirtee, blah, blah, blah. In most cases — and I assume this happened here — the coverage is reinstated once the premium is received (most likely with added penalties) and the actual insured are none the wiser.

The problem with my situation is that Sickna is soooo big, that one side of the company doesn’t know what the other side is doing. When I call the customer service center – which I believe is still located here in the good old USA — they tell me that my coverage is current. The same information is on the Sickna website. My HR office is told the same thing - coverage fine. However, when the people who really need to depend on accurate information on this subject submit claims – i.e., the doctors and hospital where I have had services performed — they are told that my coverage has been terminated.

If I thought this whole situation through, I believe I could easily blame this on George W. Bush...somehow.

My greatest fear is how the repeated denials by my health insurance company will affect my credit rating. On the plus side, the providers I have contacted about the denials do not seem to be concerned about sending my bills to collections yet. As far as they are concerned, this is just another business day as usual when dealing with Sickna. For some reason, I’m not comforted by the fact that my insurance company has a reputation for being difficult to work with.

As I write this, a number of people in my company are working to resolve my claims problems and the similar problems by others in my office. If nothing else, this episode shows that people working in the big bad health insurance industry are not immune to the crazy, mixed-up whims of the big bad health insurance industry. So, if you are one of the millions who over the years had a procedure denied because it wasn’t pre-certified, or you felt you were overcharged for coinsurance because of some usual and customary charge discrepancy, or you were denied service for a condition which you could have sworn was a covered expense, then please read this with either compassion or exultation.

Really, I don’t care if you empathize with my situation and an “I feel your pain” attitude, or if you high-five another victim of the big bad health care industry and rejoice, “Yes, there is a God!” I wrote all this with you in mind. Please enjoy!

(Thank you for reading. Please remember life is not subject to pre-certification, but common sense is not always a priority!)

Friday, May 14, 2010

The Arlen Specter Question: Is He or Isn’t He...a Democrat?

Next Tuesday, Pennsylvania Democrats will go to the polls to select a nominee for the Senate seat now held by politician-for-life Arlen Specter. His opponent is a retired Navy commander, Joseph Sestak, who is currently a Congressman serving in the House of Representatives. Both bring their own sets of qualifications and political baggage to the race. The whole affair is complicated by several questions about Specter’s candidacy. People have to be wondering, “Is Specter really running as a Democrat?” followed by the equally vexing inquiry, “Is Specter really a Democrat?”

Once you know Specter’s political history, it will be easy to see why voters are confused. Many years ago — about the time Moses took dictation from God on what would become the Ten Commandments — Specter was a Democrat. Then something happened...I don’t know, he got hit on the head and suffered amnesia, or he was kidnapped and brainwashed by Barry Goldwater, but the end result was that he switched his allegiance to the Republican Party. As a Republican, he voted many times with the party, but there was also many times when he would reach across the aisle and bring warring factions together to get legislation passed.

Specter remained a Republican until last year, when he had another epiphany and switched back to the Democratic Party. His reasoning seemed sound at the time. During the last few years, Specter was voting more and more often with the Democrats, a fact which wasn’t lost on his colleagues in the Republican Party. A backlash was building against him within the GOP camp. Specter saw the writing on the wall and, with his seat coming up for reelection, he escaped from the Big Tent. Either that, or he came to his senses with another crack on the skull.

This brings us to next week’s primary battle and the ugly smearing from both Specter and Sestak. Specter has a reputation for playing rough campaigns, and his struggle against Sestak is no exception. One Specter ad raised questions on why Sestak was relieved of command at one point in his military career. The ad left voters with the impression that Sestak is unfit to lead. Sestak countered with his own ad which subtly implied that — or not so subtly outright called — Specter is a liar. The incumbent took offense and demanded an apology and a retraction. Specter got neither.

Now, when it comes to politics, I do not consider myself a naïve Pollyanna. In fact, I am cynical as all hell. In this spirit, I have to question Specter’s declaration that he is not a liar. Really? How could Specter survive this long in politics if he always told the truth to everyone down through the years? I don’t believe such a thing is possible. Lies are part of the harsh, bitchy environment in politics.

Don’t get me wrong: Specter has done a lot of good in his career. He has long been a supporter of Amtrak, and he brings to this election many years of legislative experience regardless of which side of the aisle he was on at the time. Experience can be useful to get Obama’s agenda through Congress.

Sestak has much to offer as well. He got elected as an opponent of Bush’s wars and he is currently gaining in the polls on the wave of an anti-incumbency movement within the electorate. He is younger than Specter and is backed with a very respectable military resume.

Should the voters continue to count on the experience of an old hand, or prepare for the future representation of their interests and bring in new blood now? Most importantly, can the Democrats and can the voters trust Specter? This choice will not be easy either way.

(Thank you for reading. Please remember vote early and vote often! Oh wait, that would be fraud. Forget that advice!)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Snort Notes – May 2010

TALK SHOW HOST JAY LENO COHOSTS WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER WITH PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA. BOTH SHINE IN THEIR RESPECTIVE MONOLOGUES

The President’s appearance at the dinner got much coverage in the news media and, of course, YouTube. One of his more interesting jokes referred to his low approval ratings during his first year in office. He went on to explain that his approval ratings in “the country of his birth are very high”, a reference to the birthers assertion that he was born in Kenya. Surprisingly, I haven’t heard one birther explode on the Internet, “Ah-ha! Now he admits he wasn’t born here!”

Now let’s calm down! The President was making light of a subject which is obviously hitting him in a very sensitive area. It was a joke, okay! Nothing more than a line intended to get a laugh.

JAZZ SINGING LEGEND LENA HORNE DIES AT THE AGE OF 92

This is one of those times when even the term legend is an understatement. Yes, she was very much human, who learned many of life’s hardest lessons along the way of a very long career. Beautiful and wonderfully talented, her rendition of Stormy Weather in one scene from an all-too-brief stay in Hollywood has got to be one of the most memorable performances in Hollywood musical history. She would later feature her signature song in a one woman Broadway show, which won her a Tony award.

Thank you, Ms. Horne, for sharing your fabulous talent with us.

CAPITOL HILL PREPARES TO QUESTION/GRILL/TORTURE OBAMA’S SUPREME COURT NOMINEE ELENA KAGAN

The hearings haven’t started yet and already critics are noting that Kagan doesn’t have any experience on the bench. So? She has a bachelor’s degree in history! Wow! Someone with a bachelor’s degree in history actually has a career that doesn’t involve mastering a deep fryer or the subtle nuances of such phrases as, “Welcome to Wal-Mart! How may I help you?” (Full disclosure: my bachelor’s degree is also in history. Don’t ask...)

A history major would understand that Hawaii was indeed a state at the time that Barack Obama was born there in 1960. Okay? See? It was a joke, as in, “Ha-ha, funny,” as opposed to a joke as in “Bush administration”.

Speaking of the Bush administration...

BP'S ATTEMPT TO CONTAIN OIL SPILL FROM THE DISABLED DEEPWATER HORIZON OIL RIG IN THE GULF OF MEXICO FAILS

The spill promises to become the greatest ecological disaster of all time. The spill could have been contained weeks ago had not BP been granted an exception to a requirement that all oil companies have a disaster plan in place. The exception was given in April 2000 when George W. Bush was still in charge!

So, let’s add up the latest tally of Bush deregulation calamities: largest ecological disaster ever; 29 miners dead in explosion resulting from loopholes in mine regulations; worst response to a natural disaster (Hurricane Katrina); and thousands of homes foreclosed with untold millions of dollars lost in a deregulated banking industry.

God, I don’t miss him at all!

(Thank you for reading! Please insert your own birther joke here!)

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Stupid White Males in “A Night at Citizens Bank Park”

The good news for fans of the Philadelphia Phillies is that they are doing as well as expected this early in the season. The team is in first place in a very tight division race, which promises a lot of drama and excitement as the season wears on. The bad news is that some of the Phillies fans have been exceeding expectations, raising the bar on bad, rude, boorish public behavior.

Submitted for your approval: the New Jersey fan who — outraged that his drunken buddy had been ejected from the game — vomited on the man and the man’s daughter who complained about his buddy. This week a cold sober teenager ran out onto the field just for the hell of it and got tasered into submission. Then, more recently (as in two days ago) another Phillies fan who is far older and theoretically should have a greater sense of responsibility reenacted the teenager’s actions by running onto the field during the game.

Many people in the area have weighed in about these incidents. There is some disagreement on whether the use of the taser in incident 2 was warranted. However, there is no disagreement on labeling these guys. So far, the list has been narrowed to the following: moron, idiot, jerk, bone head, jerk (sorry we used that one already), twit, asshole, jerk squared, idiot to the third power, and major asshole.

Readers, please feel free to use any or all of these terms when talking about these “gentlemen”. Don’t worry: these terms are all in the public domain. You won’t be charged with violating copyright laws if you use them!

First there was the New Jersey loser who calls himself “PukeMan”. It appears that his greatest skill is putting his finger down his throat and regurgitating whatever foul substance he has digested. Consider what he might have had in his stomach at the time of the incident: beer and any number of greasy, fatty, deep fried objects which pass as snack foods at Citizens Bank Park. We later learned that he lives at home with his parents and works for his father, probably because no one else will hire him. Can you imagine how he would answer this question at a job interview: “What is your greatest strength?” Now you see the problem.

Then there is the "Stupid Teenager", who should be an embarrassment to all those between the ages of 13 and 21, but will instead be looked upon as a hero. In this instance, a Philly cop tasered the boy, which many people believe was an over reaction. They reason, after all, he was meaning no one any harm and he was only armed with a rally towel. Are you people kidding? Have you ever seen what a rally towel can do to a person’s backside? How was the officer supposed to know that? Remember we are living in an era where many localities are loosening gun laws so much that guns can be carried anywhere. The same thing is happening to concealed weapons laws.

In any event, "Stupid Teenager" is lucky that it wasn’t Ohio National Guard Night (on the eve of the 40th anniversary of Kent State) at Citizens Bank Park. He was lucky he was only shot with a taser! (Okay, I realize I went for a cheap shot at the expense of the National Guard, who I will admit perform great services for our country. One unit is now working to corral the oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico for example. Still, I can’t help myself. I tend to get cranky whenever I remember great moments of unjustifiable homicide in our nation’s history!)

Then there is the one we will call “Really, Really Stupid Man” (RRSM). Like “Stupid Teenager”, he also leaped over the railing and started running around the outfield. Police subdued him without the use of weapons — electronic or otherwise. His idiocy was later compounded when authorities found marijuana on his person. Now, in addition to criminal trespass, he’ll also be charged with possession of a controlled substance! Nice going! What the hell was he thinking, “Gee, I hope they don’t search me and find my stash...”

Again, no harm done? Wrong! Don’t these two fools know that the baseball diamond is an exclusive area? You have to be a multi-millionaire player to be on the field! The baseball field is not meant for the likes of the blue collar clods who think it’ll be grand fun to hop skip and jump, all the while interrupting a major league sporting event. How dare they mess with the great American institution of baseball?

In the latter case, RRSM may have prevented the Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels from completing a shutout. His performance in the outfield interrupted Hamels' rhythm and wrecked his mojo. As soon as RRSM was off the field, Hamels served up two doubles enabling the Cardinals to score!

Way to go! For that, you should have been the one tasered!

(Thank you for reading. Please watch for “PukeMan”, “Stupid Teenager” and “Really, Really Stupid Man” coming to a major league baseball venue near you soon!)

Monday, May 03, 2010

Whacha Smokin’, Arizona?

The good citizens of the state of Arizona have had enough! They’ve had enough of illegal immigrants crossing their borders and causing — according to them — all sorts of mayhem. Illicit drug trade, kidnappings, and murder have been on the rise, as if these things never happened before people noticed that there were more and more Hispanics in their midst. Apparently it’s gotten so bad that Governor Jan Brewer signed legislation empowering local law officials to stop anyone they suspect may be an illegal immigrant, and demand that they produce papers to prove their US citizenship.

Somewhere Adolf Hitler is crying tears of joy!

The new law has been criticized by everyone from the President on down to civil rights leaders. Even Republican Congressional leaders have weighed in against this law passed by one of their own governors. Brewer has defended her action with the argument that she had to do it because the federal government refused to reform immigration.

This whole controversy begs a few questions. Questions like, what are you people smoking down in the Grand Canyon State? The peyote must be reeeal goooood this year! Another question I have is, “Isn’t this enough proof that we should give the state back to the Navajo nation?" The thought is tempting...

A boycott of all products and services produced in Arizona has been proposed. Okay, let’s think this through. People could stop buying products manufactured there, but more than likely a boycott will impact the tourist and hospitality industry. Conventions will move their meetings elsewhere and cancel their accommodations. Ditto for families who will opt out of a trip to the Grand Canyon. So who will be punished the most?

I’d be willing to bet that many workers in the hospitality industry are the very same illegal immigrants that the state of Arizona will begin to stop for proof of citizenship. Hotel housekeepers and restaurant wait staff will see business fall off sharply. Their managers will be forced to lay them off and, with no other job prospects around, these workers may suddenly see Mexico — even with its seemingly endless drug cartel wars - as the land of opportunity. Ironically, a business boycott may in fact accomplish what the Arizona legislature hopes to do: reduce the number of illegal immigrants in their state.

When Brewer accuses the federal government of doing nothing, someone should remind the governor that it was her own party that couldn’t agree on immigration reform at the national level during the Bush administration. Now everyone is renewing their calls for Washington to try again. For arguments sake, let’s just pretend that the Obama administration is able to get a bi-partisan agreement on reform through Congress and signed into law.

The good news is the anti-immigration protesters will go home. The bad news is they’ll be replaced just as quickly by the tea partiers who might see the reforms as another big government intrusion on citizen’s lives. The Obama administration will find itself in a no-win situation.

Perhaps some protesters won’t go home after all. They could just stay in place and wait for their fellow tea partiers to show up. The protest slogan, “We want our country back,” could become the all-purpose mantra for a variety of issues. The law is already being challenged by a few lawsuits, and that might be what eventually kills a law that is so ripe for abuse. Face it: a few unscrupulous members of the law enforcement community could see the law as a legal way to act on their own prejudices or even fulfill their sexual appetites. The victims will cry (rightly) that their civil rights have been violated. Perhaps the entire state will go bankrupt under the weight of all the legal actions that this law will undoubtedly bring.

On second thought, maybe the Navajos won’t want the state back after all.

(Thank you for reading. Please remember to have your papers in order when entering Maricopa County...or any other county in Arizona, for that matter!)