End of the Month Clearance: Snort Bites, September 2018 or “Oh, did I say that!”
BASEBALL
SEASON ENDS FOR MY TEAM: PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
Overall, the
Phillies did not have a bad season, although they would have had a much better
end-of-season record if the season had ended at the end of August. Sadly, this did not happen, and instead of
being above .500 they now have a losing season thanks to the last few weeks
which made longtime fans nostalgic for the 1964 season.
Spoiler
alert: Phillies fans, even the ones who
enjoy excruciating pain, will never, ever feel nostalgic for the 1964
season. It’s a long story with a
depressing ending…sort of like the 2016 Presidential Election. You will have to trust us on this.
Still there
is still some sense of mercy in the season ending now. Yes, we won’t have a post season, but we can
console ourselves in the fact that we are not the Baltimore Orioles. The Baltimore franchise ends the season with
just 46 wins, 113 loses and 60 games out of first place.*
Ouch! Or as Bill Clinton was wont to say, “I feel
your pain!”
*As of
Saturday, 9/29.
PRIVILEGED
WHITE MALES HAVE A ROUGH WEEK: ONE OF THEIR OWN IS NOT CONFIRMED FOR A SUPREME
COURT SEAT
Yes, just
when one of their own thinks he’s aced the job interview before the Senate
Judiciary Committee for the vacant spot on the Supreme Court bench, a
mysterious woman from his past comes forward with a compelling account of how
he attempted to rape her many years ago.
The woman’s account was heart wrenching to listen to; many came away
convinced that she could not make this story up.
What can I
say, other than it was a tough week to be a privileged white male. Although, to be fair, privileged white males
have a lot to answer for. Stay tuned:
the saga and the backlash ain’t over yet.
Or as Bill
Clinton might have said, “Oh, that felt good, Monica!”
(Did I just
say that?)
PRESIDENT
EMBARKS ON ANOTHER ROUND OF “AIN’T I GREAT” RALLIES WITH HIS BASE SUPPORTERS
Just great! We’ll be treated to another round of “crooked
Hillary” cracks! If the President
dislikes Hillary so much then why doesn’t he just exile her to some country
where she will feel comfortable…someplace like Bitchland….
Oh, I didn’t
just say THAT, did I?
(EDITOR’S
NOTE: OBVIOUSLY ARTEEJEE HAS OVERDOSED ON HIS DAILY RATION OF CRANKINESS. WE’RE CUTTING THIS OFF RIGHT HERE…)
(Thank you
for reading anyway.)
posted by todd gunther | 4:53 PM
|
2 comments
