Snort Notes – April 2012
NEWT
GINGRICH SUSPENDS HIS CAMPAIGN FOR THE REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATION
The former
Congressman from Georgia announced on April 25 that he would suspend his
campaign effective May 1. My question: What
was wrong with April 25? Why not
suspend your campaign on the day you announce that you are suspending your
campaign? Don’t tease us! Just say good-bye and leave the political
stage! And don’t linger in the wings
waiting for someone to ask you back to make a political-base stirring speech at
the national convention.
I can only
think that his announcement was timed so to give his true, diehard
supporters — you know, the ones who agree with every outlandish, delusional view
point he espouses, but haven’t been opening their wallets like they should — one
last chance to put their money where his mouth is. Yes, true believers, this is your last chance
to resurrect this moribund candidate's final grasp for a lasting, iconic
legacy. Hurry, hurry, hurry…before he
fades away…and boomerangs back into the spotlight just like he’s done dozens of
times before.
So what will
old Newtster do with his new found free time? Revive his faltering consulting business? Drown his sorrows with a multi-million dollar
shopping spree at Tiffany’s? Or will he
take another tour of every petting zoo in the country?
Newt…just
leave, and don’t let any lobbyists hit you in the ass on your way out.
MISSISSIPPI
GOVERNOR PHILIP BRYANT DECLARES THAT THE LEFT’S MISSION IS TO “ABORT BABIES, TO
KILL CHILDREN IN THE WOMB”
The governor
said this revelation on a conservative Internet program, just after his
administration pushed through legislation that will effectively close down the
only abortion clinic in his state. He
directed his comments at opponents of the new law.
Wow! I was not aware of this! Let me run down the
checklist of the left agenda.
Over-reaching
government intrusion into every conceivable facet of American life?
Check!
Requiring
every American man, woman, and child to have the ability to pay for his/her own
health care bills?
Check!
Spending
lots and lots of taxpayer money on useful programs that benefits millions upon
millions of taxpayers?
Check!
Cold-blooded
murder of unborn children? Well, that
is a new one! When did this plank get
added to the platform?
Please
believe me: I’m not making fun of children dying. I am belittling the thought of grown adults
making outrageous, insulting comments just to score political points with their
twisted, narrow-minded constituency. There is no need for such frankly libelous labeling. Name-calling is so immature, but what else
can we expect from a low-life, bottom-feeding, slimy mud puppy. (With sincere apologies to real mud puppies
everywhere.)
SECRETARY OF
STATE HILLARY CLINTON HAS AN APPROVAL RATING OF 65%
Okay, here
are three words you would never have seen grouped together 20 years
ago: “Hillary” “Clinton” and “popular”. As you may recall, 20 years ago Hillary
was an ambitious First Lady who seemed to exemplify Eleanor Roosevelt more than
June Cleaver, which apparently was the role model most Americans preferred for
their First Ladies.
My use of the word ambitious is a delicate way of saying she was hard charging and driven to achieve a particular agenda. Her critics — who coincidentally can be considered on the right wing of the political spectrum — did not mince words; they called her a “bitch”.
My use of the word ambitious is a delicate way of saying she was hard charging and driven to achieve a particular agenda. Her critics — who coincidentally can be considered on the right wing of the political spectrum — did not mince words; they called her a “bitch”.
Even Newt’s
mom used the word when she quoted her son’s description of the First Lady! Ah, I have fond memories of that
nationally televised interview; God bless you, Connie Chung!
Which
reminds me: Newt, are you still here? Stop lurking around and leave! Can someone show Newt the way out, please?
Anyway, a
lot has changed in 20 years, and now Mrs. Clinton has weathered attacks from
the right wing media, the Monica Lewinsky scandal, served the state of New York
as a Senator, and has shined as America’s leading diplomat under Barack
Obama. People actually like her; nay,
they respect her!
What
happened? Most of it is undoubtedly due
to Mrs. Clinton’s hard work, but perhaps the right wing media has let their
guard down. Way to go, Rush! While you’ve been busy trashing the
reputations of college co-eds seeking medication for painful conditions, but
you believe they use the drugs for extra-curricular activities, your old nemesis Hillary
has risen in everyone’s esteem. Way to go,
Hillary! She is so popular now that
there is talk in Democratic circles that she could be serious contender for the
party’s nomination in four years. Hillary in 2016…it is worth considering.
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE BROTHER, DONALD
My “little
brother” is a foot taller than me, but he is younger. This weekend, he celebrates his birth, and
it’s not just any birthday this year. On Sunday, he turns five-oh! Yes,
the half century mark! Woo-hoo! AARP, here he comes!
I know I’m
gloating like mad, but at least I’m doing it in the safety of my own blog,
miles away from his residence. I don’t
have to worry about any little acts of revenge he could do, like turning my
mattress over — while I’m still sleeping on the mattress — or taking bites out of
my hamburger — at a restaurant when I wasn’t even sitting with him. (Do you
remember that one, Janey?)
Happy
birthday, Don! Hope you have a great
day!
(Thank you
for reading. No, we did not say “Newt
2016”. Will you get out of here, Newt!)