A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, August 24, 2018

It Must Be the Drugs

We keep telling ourselves this when we encounter a new side effect to our daily routine.   This year’s side effect for me is getting both of my original hips replaced. 

I’ve had these bad boys since birth and they finally wore down to the point where my quality of life (in my humble estimation) has decreased. It was time for them to go.

This is the end of the first week since my left hip was done.  One down, one to go, perhaps in 6-8 weeks.  For those of you playing along at home the procedure is a total hip replacement or arthroplasty.

So far, the recovery has become a routine of physical therapy in the home every other day, a nurse visit on the days in between, and as many opportunities in between all visits of walking laps around the living room couch to keep the new joint loose and workable.

There’s still some pain, but I have a pill for that.   Then that pill affects the frequency of my bowel movements (apologies if this is too much information).  No problem…there’s another pill for that!   If that doesn’t work then take a laxative. 

Then there all the other pills that are supposed to expedite my healing.  Whatever!   I’ll leave it to mortals greater then myself to write about their health scares and somehow make it entertaining for the blogosphere.

Bottom line: I am doing fine and recovering nicely.  Thank you to all who have left get well messages on Warrior Queen’s blog.

There are, after all, bigger fish to fry.

We began this week with an actual debate about what constitutes truth in today’s world.  Seriously, we need to dialogue on this now?   Seriously, it turns out we do.  Or again we could blame the drugs.

Newspaper columnist Solomon Jones attempted to explain it all in terms of racial truth.  The white community has their version of the truth and the black community has their own version of the truth.  The elephant in the room known as American history is that these two truths have all too seldom intersected and co-mingled for the common good.  Mr. Jones ended his essay with a reference which might possibly explain what is real and not real: “shades of truth.”

The term jogged my memory to a song from a long time ago: Shades of Gray. The song is a nostalgic ode to a simpler time. I may have posted this video before, but what the hell, let’s do it again. 

The simpler time is a delusion.  Life was never simple; the world and its problems have always been complicated.  Each of us were taught simple truths to help us get through our lives.

As we grew up and away from these truths we gathered and accumulated our own life experiences.  In the process “life” became more complicated.

As we gathered our truths we encountered others who were gathering their own life experiences.  Their voices cried out to us and we realized that our life experiences shared one goal: attainment of the values of what is right and what is wrong for everyone and all of us.

Many people believe this is the purpose of organized religion.  In America the predominant religion—or at least the religion which believes it should be the predominant religion—follows the teachings of a Jewish rabbi from many years ago who revolutionized a set of beliefs to care for one another and seek justice for all.

Caring for one another? Justice for all?  Go figure!

Unfortunately, these same followers in more recent times have adopted a more consumer-centric version of the truth.  They argue that, “Hey, I got mine.  Let the others get theirs.  We shouldn’t help them even if they need it.”

Immigrants?   Baa!  Refugees?  Give us a break!   We are scared of them.  We would rather live in fear, than coexist in faith.

We could probably dismiss this with the label “I, Me, Mine Evangelical Christianity.”  These same people are now spending their time trying to drown out the calls for justice and—here’s that “T” word again--truth.   Real truth.

The experiences of others don’t jibe with theirs, so we shouldn’t listen to them.  All the others are not true, false and fake.  As their leader is wont to say, “Sad!”

Whatever!  It’s clear one of us desperately needs a truth arthroplasty.

Now another shade of truth to consider: the world was never black and white.  We grew older and expected the world to be shaped around us.  Actually, we should shape the world around each other.  At least I think that’s what that rabbi from so long ago was trying to say.

All voices and experiences deserve to be heard and shared.  Their messages, like them or not, should not be ignored.  Regardless if they are shouted out in the town squares of America, or communicated silently in a kneeling position on the sidelines of a football field.  This is true especially for the ones kneeling: their message should not be ignored.

It would be sad to think that our national conflict about the truth without any resolution of universal justice for all is the way life was always meant to be.  

Or maybe it was the drugs all this time after all.

(Thank you for reading. Pop them if you got them!)

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Of Cabbages and Kings and Other Strange Things

A few odd things are happening which I will note briefly.

American action film hero Steven Seagal has been appointed some sort of cultural ambassador between the United States and Russia by…wait for it, Vladimir Putin.  News reports about Seagal’s appointment by the Russian leader updated me on a few things I did not know about Seagal. This included that he now enjoys Russian citizenship in addition to being an American citizen.  Also, he has been a long-time admirer of the Russian former KGB agent, leader, and journalist murderer.

Seagal built his reputation on action hero films where he was the fighter fort truth, justice, and the American way.  A short listing of his screen credits should give us an idea of his on-screen persona:  Above the Law; Out for Justice; Under Siege; Under Siege: Dark Territory.  Then there are his most recent direct to video efforts: Under Siege: Putin Forever, and the romantic comedy How I Let a Major Babe Like Kelly Le Brock Get Away. *

I was taken aback by Seagal’s warm and fuzzy relationship with a dictator who possesses the polar opposite values of the characters Seagal has portrayed on the silver screen.  It reminded me of the public relations stunt that the USSR tried to foist on an unsuspecting American public at the height of the Cold War.

Surely, we all remember the ads showing our Superman with his arm around Nikita Khrushchev that had the caption, “Hey kids! Take it from your old pal Superman and my super friend Nikita Khrushchev that American capitalism is a lot of hooey!”

Don’t worry if you don’t remember this ad, because IT NEVER HAPPENED!**

I’m also hoping that, like many other things happening today, the Putin appointment didn’t really happen.  If it did happen, then all I can say is WTF?


The Gunther 2018 crop report: Bleaaahh!

I planted three vegetables this year: yellow tomatoes, cherry tomatoes and cucumbers.  We’ve had several weeks of unsettled weather this summer which has meant doses of heavy rain showed on my plants.  Yes, they have been well-watered, but not enough sunshine for proper growth of the fruit.  My yellow tomato plant yielded two tomatoes, before the plant stopped growing.  The local deer population has nibbled away the other leaves and blossoms. I think the growing season is over for my yellow tomatoes.

The cherry tomatoes are doing well.  The cucumber is as usual doing very well.  My cucumbers grow so large that they resemble squash. The specimens sold in American supermarkets are puny by comparison.  The vines grow all over the garden and even up the sides of the chicken wire fence enclosure.  There the cucumbers grow out through the fence and begin to take on the proportions of an obscene phallic symbol.  

I would post photos, but we are striving to keep this blog family friendly.  Just trust me when I say that my cucumbers are well-hung.   Yes, double entendre intended.


And now my big news: this week I will finally have my long-awaited hip replacement surgery.  The left hip will be done first, followed by the right hip eight weeks after.  All has gone well so far.  I’ve been cleared for surgery by my PCP, cardiologist, and Steven Seagal.  I’ve had another cardiac stress test and pre-admission testing in preparation for my procedure.  It has been a few weeks of one medical appointment after another.

My goal is to gain a new pair of hips which will hopefully alleviate my arthritis, allow me to regain my ability to do day-to-day activities, and meet my out-of-pocket maximum before my health insurance benefit year ends on November 30.

Yay for meeting my out-of-pocket!

Anyway, I anticipate that my 3-4 weeks of recovery time will be restful punctuated by intense physical therapy sessions and perhaps more time to cast satirical notions on the world via this blog.

I can hardly wait!

*The last two titles are rare and so hard to find that I would discourage my readers from spending any seconds of their time looking for them.

**With apologies to Superman and the lawyers for DC Comics.

(Thank you for reading.  And now for no other reason then it is a non-sequitur out of left field, we will end with this: The password is “swordfish”.)