A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Sunday, August 25, 2019

Sunday Morning Post (V.1, #31) - Dear Denmark

We hope this letter finds you all well.   I realize you have not heard much from us in recent years, so let me get right to the point.

We understand that you recently had a close encounter with one of our American citizens who made overtures on one of your prized possessions.  We realize that his “offer” came out of the blue and totally unexpected.  Regardless, we feel compelled to offer our humblest of apologies for his outburst.

Please understand that he is an old man with obvious-to-everyone-around-him serious mental issues.  We don’t know if he was off his meds when he contacted you.  As a matter of fact, we don’t even know if he is medicated at all.  We don’t even know if he has been diagnosed by a professional trained to treat (and these are our words, mind you) bat shit crazy old men.

There we said it!  His latest attempt to purchase Greenland from you was, we freely admit, unwarranted and unprovoked.  Many of us here in America are still scratching our heads wondering what the hell were we thinking when we elected him President of the United States.  After two years of head scratching, we’re still flummoxed and now afflicted with extensive scarring on our heads.

Still, at least he made an offer to purchase your real estate as opposed to someone like Hitler who would just march in and take over any old piece of land he coveted.  At least our President is not another Hitler…at least, not yet.

We must also recognize your Prime Minister’s firm rebuff of our leader’s offer.  Many have criticized your leader’s response as in eloquent and perhaps undiplomatic, but what should our leader have expected with his crass behavior.  In short, you go girl!

So once again, please accept our deepest apologies for our leader’s strange ways of dealing with the world.  We are doing our best to contain him to limit the damage he is doing to the world and…oh, no!  He’s just threatened France with tariffs on their wines.

We gotta run!  Yours in global peace and harmony (seriously)

The United States of America.

Dear France,

We hope this letter finds you all well.   I realize you have not heard much from us in recent years, so let me get right to the point…

(Thank you for reading.  I fear that we may have to write these letters in triplicate…)

Sunday, August 18, 2019

Sunday Morning Post (V.1, #30): Three Cheers for the Era of Pettiness and Vindictiveness

Call me crazy, but one thing I learned growing up was different cultures existed in the world, how each one had their own set of mores and values, and how each one expected to be treated in line with their beliefs and of course with an eye on common sense and justice for all.   Okay, so that was more than one thing; sue me!

I learned lessons about my own culture from my parents, who also taught me right from wrong.  More lessons about right, wrong and how to treat others in a civil tone (read: treat them in such a way as to discourage them from ripping your lungs out and you from reacting in kind) was learned in Sunday School. For those of you playing along at home this would be the Sixth Church of Christ Scientist in the Frankford section of Philadelphia.

In any event, I grew up and, aside from the typical adolescent, hormonal-fueled obsessions with the opposite sex, I continued to learn more which would ultimately (supposedly) make me (a) a productive member of society and (b) a better human being.   We have to recognize the fact that it is not always the easiest thing to do, appreciating or even tolerating other cultures.  There is always a lot of work to be done.  This is why it has always seemed to be easier to hate.

Think what you will about humanity in general, but in many ways we’re a bunch of lazy efs! Thank goodness that we are now living in the Era of Pettiness and Vindictiveness!

Events from last week drove this point home when two female Muslim members of Congress sought to visit Israel as part of a trip sponsored by a Palestinian group.  These two Congresswomen have previously made highly critical statements against the Israeli treatment of Palestinians.  And who can blame them?  If Philadelphia columnist Trudy Rubin’s description of conditions on the West Bank are correct, then it appears that conditions there are getting close to those the Nazis imposed on the Warsaw Ghetto.  Historians are quick to point out that events at the Warsaw Ghetto did not end well.

The trip itself would have a been a great opportunity for both sides to teach the other side about their cultures, perhaps find common  grounds to resolve their differences and recognize that both sides have a valid right to exist in the world.  Yeah, right, who the eff am I kidding?  All that would be too much like work.

Of course, not everyone was on board with this opportunity for a teachable moment.  The Israeli government at first seemed to be ambivalent to the visit, the American ambassador in Jerusalem expressed his opposition to it, and then finally our Twitter in Chief (or should that be just Twit in Chief) egged on the Israeli government to reject the Congresswomen’s visit.  In the end, the Israeli stand on the issue was divided: officially our delegation would not be welcome, even though the Israeli ambassador in Washington did voice approval for the visit.  Ultimately the Congresswomen decided to not go as they could not abide by the restrictions which the Israeli government mandated for the visit.

Whew!  That was a close one!  Imagine an event which could have been a tiny step towards international peace and justice.   Three cheers for the Era of Pettiness and Vindictiveness!

In all seriousness, the episode pointed up the current attitude of the “divide and conquer” philosophy boiling up in many of the free world leaders.  The world does not need this now, but I guess we will have to experience it until we learn our bitter lessons of hatred.   

Unfortunately, humanity is by and large also ignorant in addition to being lazy efs.

Yes, there is much work to be done…

(Thank you for reading.   Remember, do unto others…)

Sunday, August 11, 2019

Sunday Morning Post (V.1, #29) - Tragic Examples of Irony

I’m in a self-induced haze today.  I took two strong PM type tablets last night to alleviate the hip arthritis which has been aching all weekend.   Fortunately, I have my follow up appointment with an orthopedic surgeon tomorrow.  I hope we can start my next medical adventure tomorrow, which will include physical therapy for a month, followed shortly thereafter by my actual surgery and recovery. 

The therapy will be insisted upon by that great arbiter of the American health industry: the American health insurance industry.

Still my pain is relative to the suffering being endured by the survivors of the mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton (not Toledo, Mr. President) last weekend.  My pain is not in any way comparable to those mourning, grieving and trying to heal from the double tragedies.

One of the more heart-wrenching stories was that of a young couple shopping for supplies for their six-year-old daughter’s birthday planned for later that day.  They were gunned down and fell on top of their baby being held in his mother’s arms.   The parents have been hailed as heroes since their action shielded the child from the shooter’s bullets.   The child suffered broken fingers, but he will recover from those wounds.  The longer healing process will be growing up with very little memory of his biological parents.

Such is the consequence of a leader who foments the shooter’s rage and does little beyond reciting words from a teleprompter.  As is tradition, our current President sought to reassure the nation with a well-meaning, but ultimately insincere, televised address to the nation.  The President then traveled to the sites of the tragedies – again tradition from past leaders visiting sites of natural and man-made disasters.

In El Paso, the President was greeted by first responders, but most of the survivors did not want anything to do with him or any other visitors.   The baby was brought back to the hospital after being released to his father’s brother.  The result was a tasteless photo op featuring the leader whose rhetoric towards immigrants had much in common with the shooter’s rhetoric and one of the shooter’s tiniest victims.  Thus, one part of the ironic part of the tragedy was completed.

The brother, who presumably will end up raising his orphaned nephew, was asked why he brought the child to the hospital.   The uncle explained that he is a fan of the President and wanted to meet him.  He also revealed that the baby’s father — who had turned his life around in the last few years and presumably was living a happily-ever-after existence — was also a fan of the President.

And with that, the other shoe of irony fell from this tragedy.

Many critics of the President will point to this and exclaim, “A-ha!  Serves him right!”  Such is the mean-spirited tenor of our times.  Others will shake their heads solemnly with the age-old admonishment that “the chickens have come home to roost.”  I myself can only shrug with another age-old admonishment: “What goes around, comes around!”

I just wish this hatred would stop coming around, but that does not appear likely as long as we have a narcissistic leader who doesn’t understand that he is part of the problem and has no concept of empathy.

(Thank you for reading.  On second thought, living in a haze might help me cope with this national nightmare.)