A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Sunday, February 28, 2021

Sunday Morning Post (V.3, #9): At The Feet of the Idol

Editors Note:  In today’s performance, the part of the Burning Bush is played by Ronald Reagan.

And lo, it came to pass that Moses was compelled to leave his people and climb Mt. Horeb.  He saith to them, “Chill out Israelites.  I shall return.”

And it was on Mt. Horeb (later Mt. Sinai) that Moses received the Ten Commandments from the Almighty God.

Upon his return to the people, he saw that they had constructed a Golden Trump statue and they bowed in prayer at its base.

This so angered Moses that he cast the stone tablets at the idol and both were destroyed in a pyrotechnic display of smoke and fire.

And lo, Cecil B. DeMille yelled “Cut, “Print it”, and everyone went home for the day.



And now the most fervent of God’s believers are placing more confidence in the fake idol that is Donald Trump than their belief in God itself.   Is this another example of “Forgive them, Father, for they know what they do”?  Or perhaps it’s time we stopped leaning on this defense.

In any case, the evangelical community needs to take a hard look at what they’re doing.  They won’t do this, but the rest of us should not give up trying to pull them back from their alternative reality.

(Thank you for reading.  Where is Moses when you need him?)

Sunday, February 21, 2021

Sunday Morning Post (V.3, #8) - No Tears for Hate

It is a cold winter morning and the blank page staring at me right now is impatiently tapping its corner as if to say, “We’re waiting!”  So, okay, I do not have any ideas for any deep essay this week.  We’ll mark this with some current events which we can use later on as a historical marker for America’s return from the near brush with the demise of democracy.

This week…Rush Limbaugh died.  I don’t want to presume what others would think, but I will remind my readers that Will Rogers often said that he never met a man he didn’t like.  I will go out on a limb and state that I think Rogers would have made an exception for Rush Limbaugh.

Oh, all right.  We have to give him his due props as a leader of conservative radio broadcasting who built a rabid, loyal following.  In the process he divided our country more deeply than any of America’s enemies could ever hope to do.  Limbaugh pissed off a lot of liberals in his time, so there will be no tears shed for him here.   If we are lucky history will consign Limbaugh to a spot along side Father Joseph Coughlin, a right-wing radio commentator from the 1930s.  I don’t know if anyone misses him either.

Limbaugh appealed to the American common man.  This man is supposed to be rugged, uncompromising, strong-willed and found wandering the Great Plains in cigarette commercials.  And oh yes, lest we forget, this man is white skinned.

One caveat:  this image is a myth.  Sure, there’s nothing wrong wanting to be strong and independent, but we don’t have to live that dream to the detriment of our fellow man.  Limbaugh elevated that myth and pronounced it truth.  Millions bought his argument over the decades, and we will most likely have to put up with his so called “dittoheads” for decades to come.

Limbaugh is remembered for rhetoric stuck in the 1950’s when the “typical” American family was white, uber heterosexual, and lived in the suburbs, enjoying the prosperity and opportunity that the post-war modern era had to provide.  He refined this image by making it very clear that minorities need not apply. 

It seems fitting that this spokesperson for the mythical common man should leave now.  America has been subjected to four years of its darkest elements pushed to the forefront of our national psyche.  What we do with these dark ideas now is anyone’s guess.  They should be discussed with the intention of overcoming our racist ideas once and for all. In any event there is now one less voice on the wrong side of the conversation to contend with.

Not speak ill of the dead?  Rest in peace?  Nah!  Sorry, not sorry.

(Thank you for reading.)

Sunday, February 14, 2021

Sunday Morning Post (V.3, #7): Four Commerative Days In A Row

There are four significant dates celebrated in western culture every year in the late winter.  One is a special day to renew our thoughts of affection to our significant others.  One is an actual holiday memorializing all Presidents of the United States.  Another is a day of debauchery prior to a season of atonement on the Christian calendar. The next day is the actual beginning of the atonement.

In most years, these dates happen all on their own, oblivious to the existence and significance of the others.  This year, these days happen one after the other in a row.

February 14: Valentine’s Day

The annual rite of amour falls on a Sunday this year, which seems to be more in keeping to its original roots in Christianity.  More recently it has become an excuse to give your loved ones gifts of chocolates, flowers, and make the Hallmark Corporation and local car dealerships fat and happy.  In past years, it would coincide with the three-day President’s Day weekend and our annual winter break trip to Ocean City, Maryland.  Warrior Queen and I had to stop this annual rite once we bought a house that came with a mortgage.

Still, we celebrate the sentiments with small tokens of affection.  WQ got the obligatory chocolates and a few other things she could really use.  I have not been out to the liquor store in a few months, but a trip is coming up soon.  WQ has drank the last of her Bluecoat Gin.

February 15: President’s Day

This was originally the day all of us public school children got off to celebrate the anniversary of George Washington’s birth.  It was incorporated into a Monday holiday by an act of Congress, back when Congress was an actual productive entity.  It is now intended to honor all Presidents as revered human beings and make local car dealerships fat and happy.

I would like to suggest that we use the day going forward to honor 44 presidents and their dedication to the US Constitution.  President #45 is not worth the American people giving him the time of day.

February 16: Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday)

This is the traditional day to tank up on food, liquor and other acts of debauchery before the onset of the Lenten calendar with its obligatory call for sacrifice.  This usually translates into a big party in the Big Easy.  Sadly, this is the year of COVID-19 and the party with its accompanying parade is being cancelled.  So, no floats, no debauchery, and certainly no awarding of stringed beads to those members of the human race judged to have the nicest breasts.

Eff you, COVID-19!

February 17: Ash Wednesday

A day which launches a six-week period of sacrifice, fasting, introspection into one’s soul, and theoretically atonement.  Oddly, this is one day of the year which American car dealerships have not figured out a way to make a fast buck.  Ditto for the Hallmark Corporation.

I will not be observing any rites of sacrament on this day, as it is a normal work day for me.  So, let’s enjoy these days while we can!  Everyone fatten up!

(Thank you for reading.  Or are these days just numbers?)