A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Rick Perry’s Third Day in Office*

Time once again to indulge in some historical theory and speculate on the shape of events to come. In this case, we shall say “what if” the idea that one of the current crop of Republican hopefuls for the White House actually gets elected.

(*We say third day, because the first day is all inaugural festivities and more boot scooting, shit-kicking balls than you can shake a stick at; while the second day the new President gets down to business and starts carrying out all of the outlandish campaign promises. It’s the dawning of the third day when reality takes hold, the new president’s policies start affecting everyone, and the American electorate asks themselves, “My God! What the eff have we done?”)

TIME: January 22, 2013.

SCENE: The Oval Office. President Rick Perry is seated at his desk when Chief of Staff Andrew Breitbart rushes in.

Breitbart: Mr. President, we need to talk...

Perry: Not now! Can’t you see I’m trying to decide which country I have to start a war with.

Breitbart: Start a war with? But Mr. President, no country has acted with any belligerency towards us for months. Your predecessor successfully negotiated peace treaties with all the countries that we were fighting. Everyone loves us...even Iran!

Perry: I know that, and you know that, but that wise ass blogger arteejee insists that since I’m from Texas and I won the election that I have to pick a fight with somebody. He says it’s tradition! Johnson had a war; both Bushes had their wars; now it’s my turn. Get out of the way while I toss this dart at the globe over there! Now where did it stick?

Breitbart: Um...Oklahoma!

Perry: Dang! I was trying for Mexico. Oh well, those Okies got to be a pain-in-the-ass when I was governor. Maybe I will march into Tulsa just for the hell of it.

Breitbart: Mr. President, you cannot declare war against one of your own states.

Perry: Where’s Michele?

Breitbart: Michele...Bachmann? I believe she’s down in Miami separating Hispanic children from their illegal immigrant parents. She’s processing the parents for deportation.

Perry: Oh, right, her un-amnesty program. Well, tell her to get her tail back up here as soon as she can.

Breitbart: Why? Do you have a new policy for her to implement?

Perry: No, my water pitcher is empty! I’ve worked up a mighty thirst trying to decide where to go to war, what parts of the Constitution I want to scrap, and which departments to eliminate.

Breitbart: Ah, funny you should mention the Constitution, sir. You realize that declaring portions of it null and void can’t be done with just an executive order. It’s a long, drawn out process.

Perry: Oh yeah? I’ll fix that with another executive order. Any requests?

Breitbart: Pardon me, sir?

Perry: Any requests for amendments we should cut? How about the Second Amendment? It can’t be that important if the Founding Fathers didn’t make it the First Amendment, right?

Breitbart: Oh no, sir! We want to keep the Second Amendment! That’s the one that allows us to keep guns.

Perry: Oh, right! I better make a note of that. “Keep guns.” (suddenly laughs hysterically)

Breitbart: What’s so funny, sir?

Perry: I don’t know. Mitt Romney just popped into my head. (both laugh hysterically) Whatever happened to him?

Breitbart: He’s your vice president, sir.

Perry: Oh, yeah, but whatever happened to him? I haven’t seen him around here today.

Breitbart: You issued an executive order yesterday banishing him to Alaska to serve out the remaining time of Sarah Palin’s term as governor.

Perry: Okay. Now, where’s my Secretary of Labor? What’s his name? Ginrich? Grinchgich?

Breitbart: You mean Newt Gingrich? He’s up in New York City today, teaching nine year olds the correct way to mop a school gymnasium floor.

Perry: What for?

Breitbart: It’s part of his plan to get gut child labor laws and put kids to work.

Perry: Well, tell him I need to see him when he gets back. I need some of that high-falutin’ historical advice he gave to Freddie Mac. Maybe he can show me where to go to war.

(Secretary of State Herman Cain rushes in)

Cain: I’m sorry to barge in, Mr. President, but my mind is still swirling from the inauguration. I know you gave me some orders yesterday, but um, I’ve gotten everything mixed up. What was I supposed to do with Libya again?

Perry: Oops, I forgot too! Bomb the hell out of it!

Breitbart: But, Mr. President, Libya is no longer an enemy. Remember, Khadafy is dead.

Perry: Don’t worry about it, Cain. Go ahead and start some military action against them. We’ll just let Fox News put a positive spin on it. (Cain exits)

Breitbart: Speaking of those executive orders, Mr. President...

Perry: You mean the ones where I unilaterally and arbitrarily cut three government agencies out of existence?

Breitbart: Yes, those orders. Do you remember which departments you cut?

Perry: Well, you know I campaigned to cut three agencies. I cut the EPA and all their overregulation of our American industry. Any progress yet?

Breitbart: Some progress, sir. Every industry is reporting increased output now that they don’t have to worry about not polluting the air and water.

Perry: Sounds great! Have any of those bleeding heart liberal arguments against deregulation come true because the EPA is no more?

Breitbart: Well, sir, now that you mention it...hospitals in the major industrial areas are reporting upticks in emergency room cases for asthma, upper respiratory infections, and gastrointestinal illnesses from drinking tainted water.

Perry: Hmmm...must be a coincidence.

Breitbart: Of course, sir! My thoughts exactly! What other departments did you cut?

Perry: Well, let’s see...Commerce. How is that going?

Breitbart: Fantastic, sir! Many companies are expanding production and planning new growth, now that they don’t have to follow any pesky government regulations. The only problem today is they can’t find enough workers to fill their positions.

Perry: Why not? Where are all the people that Barack Obama’s policies put out of work?

Breitbart: They’re in the emergency rooms getting treated for asthma and gastrointestinal illnesses, sir!

Perry: Hmmm...must be a coincidence.

Breitbart: Yes, sir, it must be a coincidence.

Perry: You better have Michele ease up on her un-amnesty. We may need some of those workers for our American companies.

Breitbart: Yes, sir. Now, about that third agency you cut yesterday...

Perry: Well, in all the excitement of getting elected and inaugurated I forgot which one I campaigned to cut. So yesterday I just picked one at random.

Breitbart: And that was...?

Perry: Oh, I can’t remember now. Oh, started with a “d”.

Breitbart: Defense?!! You cut defense?

Perry: Yeah, why? Is that bad?

Breitbart: Well, that explains why a battalion of tanks are crossing the Key Bridge at this moment!

Perry: No problem! I’ll just issue another executive order to grant all of Michele’s illegal immigrants instant citizenship, impose the Second Amendment to arm them, then have Commerce hire them as mercenaries and position them along the Potomac against the tanks.

Breitbart: That’s brilliant, sir! You’ll go down in history as our greatest President ever!

Perry: Oh, I better add a pitcher of water to that order too. My mouth is as dry as a summer afternoon in El Paso.

(Thank you for reading!)

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thankful - 2011

It is that time once again to count our blessings and express our gratitude for everything that we have received in our lives. In my life, first and foremost I am grateful that I will have the chance to gather with my loved ones again to catch up with their lives, reminisce about old times and, of course, eat ourselves silly into a tryptophan induced stupor. I am also blessed that I have a blog on which I can vent and rant at the massive stupidities we encounter in America today.

The last sentence of the first paragraph is the first part of what the French call a segue. In order to enjoy the full effect of this literary device, please proceed to the first sentence of the next paragraph. I’m anything but subtle.

I am also grateful that Newt Gingrich is a Republican — the polar opposite of my cherished slightly left of center political beliefs. I can’t emphasize this enough. In fact I’ll probably emphasize it more in a future blog entry. However, now is not the time to take cheap shots at a noted American politician who, based on the things he has said and done in his life, would make one swear that he has his head up his ass. No, I repeat no, this is the time for somber reflection of our accumulated blessings.

I am also thankful that my life is on an upswing again on a path to economic security and not in the bowels of despair that I was wallowing in at this time last year. I am grateful that part of my journey to prosperity was the opportunity to further my education through the state funded CareerLinks. I am really truly thankful, unlike some people who begrudge the unemployed a chance at retraining. Of course I’m talking about good ole Newt again.

So much for somber reflection!

Did you hear his latest brain fart? No, I’m not referring to the hygiene and career advice he offered to the Occupy Wall Street protestors: “Get a bath, and then get a job!” He wants to roll back child labor laws so they can replace the unionized janitors at our nation’s schools. This way the kids can clean their own schools and earn money at the same time. There are so many things wrong with this idea!

First of all, repealing child labor laws would greatly increase the labor pool, which is not necessarily a good thing when there are 14 million Americans already out of work. That’s 14 million adult Americans, as in 14 million adult Americans of voting age.

The children will be a cheap source of labor, which would be great for business but not so great for adult workers who have families to support. Ultimately, this logic would backfire on the business world. The youngins would be unskilled and unskilled workers run a high risk of producing...oh, what is the technical term which the French have, oh yes...merde (shit).

If kids are obligated to clean their own schools, when will they have the time or possess the energy to learn everything they need to make them productive citizens of society? Oh, wait, they won’t have to be productive citizens for American society, because their own children will take the jobs that the adults normally have gotten because the child labor laws don’t exist anymore. Silly me for overlooking this brilliant facet of Newt’s plan to dismantle unions! It’s so in the spirit of the ugly circle of life, or karma, take your pick!

So, boys and girls, if you’re bored with school, then tell your parents to vote for Newt! He’ll get rid of those pesky laws that keep you in school and thrust you into the working world. Yes, someday soon nine year olds everywhere can be back in the coal mines like their great-grandfathers, who picked through a ton of coal for three cents a day! (I know because I met one of those children, although by the time I met him he was a very old man lost in his memories as he gazed upon a full size model of a working coal car at the Schuylkill County Mall near Frackville, PA).

Don’t fret about earning the measly three cents a day. This is the 21st century, after all, and federal laws guarantee you will earn a minimum wage of $7.25! Oh wait, I forgot, if Newt’s in charge then he’ll repeal that law too! Maybe three cents a day wages are in your future.

On the bright side, children earning such a low wage might entice some manufacturers to take jobs away from China and bring them home to the USA! Think of it! Such products like Apple computers will be made once again in the USA...USA...USA! Hooray!

I repeat, Newt must have his head deep inside his rectum. So please cherish this image in your mind as you lean back in your chairs digesting the feast that was provided by the bounties of our American life which were grown, harvested, packaged and transported to your table by hard-working, sometimes unionized Americans. And, oh yes, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

(Thank you for reading.)

Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Lesser of Eight Evils

Ah, the ups and downs of the Republican presidential hopefuls on the campaign trail. There’s so many from which to choose, and so much time to do the choosing. The popularity of each candidate grows and wanes so fast that it can leave the heads of the electorate swimming.

The election is nearly 11 months away and already some of the GOP field have had brilliant launches, and then just as quickly flamed out. Michele Bachmann peaked very early in Iowa; she’s now on a book tour thinly disguised as a run for the White House. Pundits have pronounced Herman Cain’s quest all but dead; the sexual harassment skeletons in his closet didn’t help, but his dithering on some issues, such as Obama’s policy towards Libya, shows he’s ill-prepared for debate let alone the Oval Office. Then, breaking out of the back of the pack, Newt Gingrich rises in popularity only to be dogged by a controversy about $1.5 million in consulting fees he collected from taxpayer subsidized Freddie Mac.

We realize that Republicans have a while to choose their man (or woman) to unseat Obama, but this is getting ridiculous! This making someone believe they are the chosen ones, then throwing them on the political heap a month later is getting very tired, very fast.* Make up your minds already!

Now, as a public service, we will thin the current herd and make their decision that much easier.

One fellow who also peaked about two months ago (honestly, I’ve lost count) and who believes he still has a chance is Texas’ absentee governor, Rick Perry. This week he launched an anti-Obama political ad that is being broadcast about a year too early. It really is an intense indictment against the president that should have been released in the heat of the final campaign, not months before the presumptive nominee is even chosen.

Perry’s ad starts with footage of Obama at a business forum where he answers a question about the perception among foreign investors that America has “impediments towards investing”. The President answered in reference to American policymakers and business that “we’ve been a bit lazy” in selling the investment opportunities that the country offers. Perry pounced on the “a bit lazy” words and said that Obama was referring to American workers. He denounced the President’s attitude as “pathetic”, and finished the ad with a plea to send him to Washington to stop Obama’s socialistic agenda.

Perry’s quote twisting is the only pathetic act in this drama. He is the one calling Americans lazy, not Obama. Hard working Americans should find Perry’s act offensive, yet his audience will believe his version of the events.

Perry should get off the campaign trail and go back to Austin to finish the job that the good people of Texas elected him to do. The same could be said for Bachmann and her fellow House member Ron Paul. Get back to Washington and finish your terms; then worry about a job at the White House. This would take three people out of the race and cut the choices down to five.

So who would be left? Aside from the aforementioned Cain and Gingrich, there is former congressman Rick Santorum, former Obama official Jon Huntsman and former governor (and for all intents and purposes the most consistent front runner) Mitt Romney. Santorum and Huntsman have yet to have their month atop the polls, but rest assured they’ll get their chance if the fickleness of the Republican electorate holds to its present course. If each one of these candidates gets his chance to be on top of the heap, then we can expect some sort of skeleton to emerge from their respective closets within days of their ascension.

This is going to be a fun spectator sport for liberals to follow this winter! I can hardly wait! Face it, Republican Party faithful: when all is said and done, you’ll have the lesser of eight evils to choose from: Mitt Romney. Good luck and happy polling!

*I’m especially worried about Newt! He’s soooooo sensitive, you know. Why, one time he pouted and closed the whole government down, and we all remember what happened next. The shutdown created a crisis that forced many White House staffers to work longer hours together, which allowed Monica to sink her claws into Bill and she wouldn’t let go, and then the President lied about what they did, so he was impeached...and it was all Newt’s fault! Now there’s an interpretation of American history that you won’t read anywhere else but here!

(Thank you for reading!)

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Certified (or Certifiable) Medical Coder

One of the benefits of being laid off is the chance to wipe the slate clean and start over again. In Pennsylvania – (where, at the moment, child molesters still have free rein (but stay tuned, because a change is in the air) — the state offers retraining programs for unemployed. It’s called CareerLinks, a state funded effort to get people back to meaningful work. Of course, being a bureaucracy, there’s several hurdles full of paperwork to be dealt with, and there is rigorous testing (including math) to determine your qualifications for the program.

My passage through all this made it possible for me to get instruction in medical coding, a career choice that is predicted to explode in the next few years and create many new job opportunities. So I gave up five months worth of Saturday mornings to learn the intricacies of extracting information from medical and surgical descriptions and distilling it down to a five-digit procedure code and a three-to-five digit diagnosis code for the purpose of billing insurance carriers. This was followed by a certification exam given by the AAPC – American Association of Professional Coders.

I can now report that all of this effort has paid off. I passed the exam and I can now call myself a professional coder.

Of course, I couldn’t have done it without the moral support of my wife and colleagues at work, and most importantly I couldn’t have accomplished this without the investment of the everyday state taxpayer, who send their hard cash to Harrisburg every year and wonder what return they get. Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Pennsylvania taxpayer, I want to express my deep appreciation for your faith in my abilities to become a useful, gainfully employed citizen of the Commonwealth again. I also couldn’t have done it! Hey, I’m a taxpayer too! Some of my money went to funding this program. So thank you to me!

It was a lot of hard work. The last month or so required that I concentrate on my studies as the course wound down towards the certification exam. Even though I have 20 years experience paying medical claims, I still had to learn or relearn medical terms that are vital parts of the health care industry. Many vocational specialties have a specialized vocabulary, and health care is no exception.

For example, wounds are not simply cleaned; they are debrided. Surgical sites are not doused with water or some other sterile solution; they are irrigated. Lesions are not removed; they are excised. Body limbs are not hacked off or otherwise chopped off with extreme prejudice; they are amputated.

One new term for me was the process of fulguration; the destruction of tissue – most likely malignant — through the use of electrical means by way of a needle. Until I learned this definition, I thought it would be proper to use this term like this: “We had to fulgurate the house last night after my wife and I had beans for supper.” It turns out that this would have been an improper use of the word fulgurate. Go figure!

Towards the end, I did countless practice exercises comprised of surgical reports. I realized that I was living, breathing, eating and sleeping medical terms. During this time, I would go about my usual morning routine of feeding Steven and Meredith, using the toilet, brewing coffee, and walking to the end of my driveway for the morning paper. In a medical report, this innocuous series of events might be reported like this:

Beef and or salmon byproducts were excised from its container and prepped in the usual fashion for feline consumption. Total bowel and bladder evacuation was performed. Next, ground particles of 95% caffeine were placed in a cone for steeping with H2O at a temperature of 212 degrees Fahrenheit. While this drip procedure was performed, an exploratory of the exterior of the property was done for the morning correspondence of news events. Using an instrument utilizing claws at one end to extract the journal reduced the risk of serious injury by allowing retrieval of the paper without the patient having to bend over to reach it. By this time, the drip procedure was completed and the caffeine solution was prepared for human consumption, allowing patient and spouse to tolerate the morning well.

Isn’t the world of medical coding fascinating?

(Thank you for reading! Be careful when and where you fulgurate; it might be illegal in some states.)

Saturday, November 12, 2011

They Just Don’t Get It Syndrome

The big story rocking the state of Pennsylvania this week is the tragic events unfolding in Happy Valley when a member of Joe Paterno’s coaching staff was indicted for molesting young boys. The story barely broke a week ago, and already the fallout has been swift and severe. So far, Paterno has been fired, Penn State University’s president has resigned, and at least two other university administrators have seen their careers evaporate before their eyes.

All of these punishing events are happening after years of turning a blind eye to horrible events done within the confines of an established and respected institution. One local reporter went as far as to compare Penn State’s sex scandal to the one that has been haunting the Roman Catholic Church for the last 20 years. Both scandals do share similarities. Penn State University and the church are both revered and cherished institutions. The misdeeds which happened within their environments were reported through channels, but further action against the perpetrators faltered somewhere up in the hierarchy.

Today, many regrets are being voiced. Some commentators are shaking their heads at the overall traditional attitude that the institution is more sacred than the safety and well being of humans victimized by horrible assaults. In Penn State’s case, there is not only the sanctity of the football program, but also the millions of dollars in revenue that the program generates for the school. It's almost as if the attitude has been “Money trumps all! Get over it!”

Actually, now that I think about it, this attitude is pervasive through many other of mankind’s cherished institutions. This doesn’t necessarily leave Penn State off the hook. The perpetrators and those that cover up the behavior all seem to suffer from a case of not getting it or a pathetic lack of concern for others who have been adversely affected by their actions. I would like to say that this is the only example of “not getting it” in this section of the country, but I would be sadly mistaken.

For example, there was the recent election for Montgomery County Commissioners, an office which requires three people. During the last term, the commissioner’s office was stymied by a bipartisan snub by two of the officials against the third member. Former high profile district attorney Bruce Castor was excluded from county commissioner business by Republican Jim Matthews and Democrat Joe Hoeffel.

Consequently, it does not appear that the commissioners accomplished very much during this term. Castor always seem to be eager to portray himself as a victim of politics, although he himself has been quoted as saying he is not a consensus builder, which is a vital skill that should be highly valued by the electorate. This week’s election replaced Matthews and Hoeffel with two Democrats. Once again, Castor will fill the third seat since he had the third highest number of votes and a state law that requires the minority party be represented on the board. In the election’s aftermath, Castor was quoted as saying that the Democrats won the seats due to higher registration of Democratic voters in the county and the amount of money the Democrats spent on the campaign.

Actually, he was only two-thirds correct and demonstrated that he also suffers from they just don’t get it syndrome. He could have been totally honest if he had also admitted, “The Republican Party may have lost its grip on Montgomery County politics for the first time in 140 years because I was perceived as acting like an egotistical prima donna, which caused my fellow commissioners to treat me like a leper.” He could have said that, but he didn’t.

The they just don’t get it syndrome is also evidenced at the state level. Natural gas lobbyist and alleged governor of Pennsylvania, Tom Corbett, doesn’t get it. With thousands of miles of state roads and thousands of bridges in disrepair, the state infrastructure is begging for a badly needed fix. Does Corbett realize that a well maintained infrastructure is a vital part of the state’s economy? Does he know that private enterprise is not capable of the Herculean task of implementing the necessary investment in resources and jobs to solve the problem? Apparently not, as he has given the state’s infrastructure woes a low priority behind his pet project of promoting school vouchers in the state.

Corbett realizes that investment resources can come from increased state revenue, or in other words, taxes! Problem is he has chosen to follow the pledge of no taxes by anti-progressive Grover Norquist. The “governor” can only kick this can down the road. Let someone else worry about the roads tomorrow and never mind that it will likely cost much more to fix the crumbling bridges later on. When it comes to investments for the common good, Corbett doesn’t get it.

Admittedly, Castor’s and Corbett’s sins don’t come close to the scale of the tragedy at Penn State. Still, we should recognize this too human folly of feigning ignorance in many situations so we can solve the problems posed by said situations. Joe Paterno has harshly learned this lesson this week. He now realizes he could have done more by looking to himself, rather than to others to deal with the assaults at Penn State. Finally, JoePa gets it.

(Thank you for reading.)

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

I’m Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!

Good day everyone! I hope this entry finds everyone well. I want to thank everyone who looked in on my blog during the month of October. I apologize if I disappointed anyone, but there were other things that needed to be done. Now that those things are completed, I can come back and blog with impunity. I want to send a very special thank you to my two most loyal readers, one of whom begged me to come back. So thank you, Janey and Mom.

I will write at length about my coding class experiences later, but for now I feel like I need to play catch up on the events from October. It was quite an eventful month! My beloved Phillies proved once again that THEY were the team to beat to get to the World Series. Unfortunately, the St. Louis Cardinals were the ones doing the beating! The Cardinals went all the way for the 11th time in franchise history, while the Texas Rangers went home empty-handed for the second year in a row. Texas, we feel your pain. You not only had a losing World Series, but your governor is AWOL while he gallivants around the country trying to convince the American people that he should succeed Barack Obama.

I can’t leave the subject of the World Series without noting the general decline in today’s baseball players. I was dumbstruck when one of the World Series games was postponed because of rain! Rain, can you imagine? What a bunch of wussies! There was a time not so long ago when postponing a baseball championship would have been unheard of. This was back in baseball’s glory days when baseball players were made of steel and their bats were instruments of mass destruction! In case I’ve lost you, I’m referring to the great wonderful World Series of 2008! My Phillies played in the rain and they went on to win that decisive game against the Tampa Bay Rays. Okay, granted the game was called after five innings, but they came back a few nights later to win their second championship.

The next year the Phillies went to the World Series again, and this time a few of the games stretched into November. That’s November as in November, nearly winter! Okay, granted we lost that series, but I’d like to see how the wussie Cardinals play in November!

In October we bid farewell to Libyan dictator Moammar Ghadaffi, or Ghadafi, or Gandolfi, or however he spelled his name. He vowed to hold on to the death, and that’s what he got! Bloodied and beaten (complete with video that went viral on the World Wide Web), his reign ended in an alleged crossfire that looked suspiciously like a gangland execution straight out of The Godfather.

His end is no matter to us, because it is a tradition in the western Judeo-Christian culture which he so despised, to pause at times like this to remember the good things he did while he lived. Like, for instance, there was the time when he hired that guy to put a bomb...oh, wait, a lot of us died in that bombing. On the other hand, there was that speech when he said...oh, no, sorry. I forgot that he could be a major bitch when it came to demonizing Western culture.

To be honest, when it comes to saying something nice about Moammar Ghaddafi, I’ve got nothing. So, Moammar, sic semper tyrannus!

October is gone, and November is upon us. November is the month of Thanksgiving, a time to express gratitude for everything that life has bestowed on us. I’m grateful that I am working this year, as opposed to this time last year when I was unemployed. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to advance my career courtesy of CareerLinks, which enabled me to take the medical coding class which I’ve just completed. Most of all, I am grateful that God has seen fit to send us Ann Coulter! I haven’t talked about Ann in awhile, and Lord knows she is overdue for a drubbing in my blog! Honestly, she is one big reason that liberal bloggers like me get out of bed every morning.

Last week, Ms. Coulter defended black conservative political leader and entrepreneur Herman Cain from accusations of sexual harassment in his deep, dark past. She attempted to make the argument that liberals always make a big controversy out of scandals like this when liberals are just as guilty of committing the same sins. I won’t argue this point, Ann. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: liberals have more fun! So get over it!

However, in further defending Cain and other black conservative like him, she raised the point that “our blacks are better than their blacks.” Oh dear, Ann. Dear, dear really stuck your spiked heels into your mouth this time!

I must point out, Ms. Coulter, a little historical tidbit that must have escaped your attention. However, in order to do so I would have to stoop to your level. Believe me, I find this idea just as repulsive as the next person. The very idea that a couple of white people should sit around and argue which of their blacks are better strikes me as ludicrous and so, oh, I don’t know, so antebellum.

Oh, what the hell! In the words of Red Skelton, “I dood it!”

Dear Ms. Coulter, if you believe that conservative blacks are better than liberal blacks because you believe they are more financially and materialistically successful, then by all means you are free to think that. However, I must point out to you that while your conservative blacks maybe better, one of our blacks is living in the White House!

BOOYAH!!!!! Ain’t I a bitch! All together now: “The bitch is back!!!!”

(Thank you for reading!)