The Return of Snort Bites (January 2015)
TALK SHOW
INVENTOR JOE FRANKLIN DIES
Well, he’s
credited with inventing the television mainstay, but who can argue with his
longevity? A contemporary of Ed Sullivan,
his show began televising in 1950. For
the next 43 years, he held court interviewing established entertainers, up and
coming acts, and acts seeking to launch their comeback. The latter
inspired a scene in Woody Allen’s Broadway Danny Rose. Then, in the 22 years since his television show
ended, he continued broadcasting a show on Bloomberg Radio.
Insomniacs
in the New York metro area (or, in my case, the cable system in Bloomsburg PA)
could always count on Franklin to entertain them at the obscenely early hour of
1:00a. Other times his show would be
broadcast at 9:30a. The sound of his theme (12th StreetRag) and a fast paced image procession of past show business icons (among them Laurel and Hardy; I don’t know if they were ever interviewed by Franklin) heralded
another installment of The Joe Franklin Show. Click on the SFW linky!
The episodes
were always entertaining even on an occasional slow night when he would bring
out the show’s photo album, and reminisce about past show guests who “are no
longer with us”. Then there was the
bizarre interview with “Weird Al” Yankovic when he recreated his favorite snack. For the record, it is a slice of pepperoni
pizza topped with whipped cream and a jelly bean garnish. (He had me until he
got to the jelly beans!) We should probably
consider this normal for an entertainer who incorporates the word weird into
his name, but otherwise it was a classic Joe Franklin moment.
Rest in
Peace, Mr. Franklin.
SARAH PALIN SAYS
SOME DUMB STUFF
Okay, this
headline is not news to the liberal media, but her rambling speech at an Iowa
gathering of Republican 2016 hopefuls left her fans troubled and Democrats
rejoicing. In that spirit, I want to
thank my fellow American voters for their courageous insight in 2008 when they
did not vote for her ticket. Thank you,
America.
Meanwhile,
back in Iowa, Palin lambasted big government (at least I think that was the gist
of her speech) and the status quo; her colorful definition of the government
riding the backs of the common man raised the specter of political activist pioneer
Saul Allinsky (even I had to Google Saul Allinsky); and she pointed three fingers
of j’accuse at the liberals. The most
incredible part: Palin got a standing
ovation for this bizarre attempt at persuasion.
Oh, Iowa! I feel so bad for you now.
Palin’s
performance was later blamed on a malfunctioning teleprompter. If that is true, then let me pause to express
my gratitude for this latest failure in modern technology. Thank you, malfunctioning teleprompter!
I believe
Forrest Gump said it best, “Stupid is as stupid does.”
(Thank you
for reading. Seriously, Iowa, I know you
feed the nation and all that, but what is your deal?)