A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Our 25th…And No Technicalities

Today marks the 25th anniversary for Warrior Queen and me.  She is not much for sentimentality, so I will not linger on this subject long.

For example, when I come home after work, and on the rare occasion she gets home before I do, she will utter something like, “Oh shit, he found his way home again.”   I usually respond something to the effect that I laid down bread crumbs as I left that morning, but my point is that we are still here for each other, looking out for each other’s welfare as we drift into the twilight of our lives.

We, like all couples or so I believe, set their own tones of communication between them.  Many couples may say “I love you” every day of their lives. We seldom voice this word anymore, but we’ll let the occasional Hallmark product say it for us.

I suppose we still love each other after all this time.  We have just established a different, non-sentimental way of expressing it.  However just in case there are any doubts, I’ll let this New Seekers video express it for me.  The words seem to capture my true feelings for Warrior Queen.

(Thank you for reading.  Thank you, Warrior Queen for being in my life.)

Sunday, October 15, 2017

58…With A Technicality

I will make this short as possible so I can get on with the business of celebrating my 58th birthday.  I’ve told this story before, but I will tell it again because I think it’s fascinating and it has sort of set the tenure for my life since.  Recording today as my birthday is a technicality.

I was actually born just after midnight on October 16, 1959.  Due to the eccentricities of American culture, we have what is known as Daylight Saving Time.  The October date falls within that time frame each year as opposed to Standard Time.  By law, the delivering physician (by the name of Strunk as I recall) was obligated to record my arrival on Standard Time, or one hour earlier just after 11:00, October 15, 1959.

So be it!

We have a quiet day planned.  I will get much of my usual Sunday chores accomplished, or those once a week tasks that need to be done before the new work week begins.  The highlight will be Sunday Brunch at the William Penn Inn, where I will satisfy my craving for peel ‘n’ eat shrimp and other brunch delicacies.  Then a stop at the liquor store on the way home for some anniversary shopping.  Warrior Queen and I will celebrate 25 years together on Tuesday.  There will be another post to mark that occasion, but we won’t have a proper celebration until time allows next weekend.

As for my wishes for the day, alas, I will always wish for something that is out of my reach.  Yesterday I found myself wanting to spend a part of this day with people who were a big part of my life.   Of course, there would be my parents, my friend from high school, Nick; one of my friends from college, Paul; one of my best college professors and friends I ever had, Dr. Mary Kenny Badami; and the college friend who left us too soon earlier this year, Janey.  This wish is out of reach because they are all gone now.  I just hope that somewhere on another astral plane that Mary and Janey are hoisting a Heineken to me at this very moment.

Beer and alcoholic libations in the hereafter?   Why not?  I refuse to believe the old polka declaration, “in heaven there is no beer.”  I will put this thought forward: if there truly is no beer in heaven there is truly no justice in the universe at all!

So, I will be contented with spending the day with the most wonderful Warrior Queen, and the technicality that even with all my medical problems popping up this year, that the universe is not done with me yet.   Apparently, I still have a purpose to fulfill in this life.

So be it!

Having awoken this morning with the knowledge that my heart is still beating, I can only be grateful for the friends still here, the love I can still feel, and the thought that I have earned the right to do good for another day in this life.

(Thank you for reading.  And thank you God for letting my heart beat one more day.)

Sunday, October 08, 2017

The Gun Prayer

Our father, Wayne LaPierre

Who art in National Rifle Association Headquarters in Fairfax, Virginia

Hallowed be thy Second Amendment

Please forgive our transgressions

To dare believe we can change or curb our obsession with guns

To offer our thoughts and prayers to the victims of our violent culture

(But nothing else)

Lead us to shrug our shoulders at every new massacre of innocents

As we chalk up more murders to the cost of living in a free society

And lead us not to pass laws which will take away our weaponry

For we all know that every American gun owner

Is always and forever forthrightly a law-abiding citizen

Who will never lose their mind,

Swear allegiance to our nation’s enemies,

Or just fail to overcome the thrill of killing others 

For personal glory or satisfy their own reckless control issues

And most importantly lead us not to believe anything but YOUR twisted

Interpretation of the Second Amendment

For the right to bear arms enables yourself and the NRA

Access to unlimited material wealth and riches

For thine is the kingdom where common sense does not exist

The power over our Congress

And the glory of the NRA on high.

Amen, and pass the ammunition.

(Thank you for reading.  The preceding is a work of satire and not to be construed as an endorsement of violent acts in public.)